09
Apr 10

Weekend Preview: The battle for the NL Central starts tonight!

POO-HOLES GET IT?!? LOLOMGROFL

Hey, it's Friday and it's the first week of the season what better way to kick off the weekend against our hated rivals from St. Louis. Much is made about the Brewers/Cubs, but honestly I think a lot of that is Packer fans trying to recreate their animosity for the Bears. The Cubs, as a team, have never done anything bad enough for true hate. The Cardinals on the other hand have given us a really good reason to hate them, they beat us in our one and only World Series. Sure, I was like 10 months old at that time but still. Screw those guys.

I won't be going to any games this weekend so I won't get a chance to try and have sex in the bathroom. At least in Miller Park, that is. (Hey yoooo!) We're slowly but surely getting back into the swing of things here and next week should be bursting with more of the crude, semi-sexist, semi-Brewers related content that you've grown to love. Until then follow us on twitter and facebook. We'll see you Monday.


05
Mar 10

Milwaukee Brewers tattoos

Sometimes I get the weird desire to google something and then just see what happens. Sometimes it's sexual in nature like "cat peeing on boobs" and sometimes it's to actually learn something like "what the hell is a milliarcsecond". Other times, times like today I decide to search something that I may be able to use on the site. Today I googled: "brewers tattoo". Here's what I found:

(via)

For the Brewers fan who likes the Brewers, but also likes smoking a ton of pot. Continue reading →


30
Dec 09

Best of Miller Park Drunk 2009

LOLBREWERS: Rickie WeeksHey, it's time for one of those year end clip shows that you love so much. You know like that time on Full House when we saw how much we truly loved and appreciated Uncle Jesse after seeing those old clips. There was no need for him to move out of the house with his family, he could just live in the attic!

Miller Park Drunk has only been open a year, but we've published over 300 posts in that time period. Call this the best of 2009, call it The Beginner's Guide to Miller Park Drunk, call it whatever you'd like, here it is.

BEST OF THE BEST

Don't You Forget About the Brewers: John Hughes, director of such classics as The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink, died this year and the Brewers paid him a tribute.

LOLBREWERS: Can't decide which one was my favorite, either Yovanni's Big Day or First Place Edition.

The Happy Youngster is a douchebag who makes us all look bad: This post really put us on the map with links from Deadspin and other major blogs. It also inspired this idiot to call us "a blogger who gives drunks a bad name", sold a few t-shirts and was semi-popular on tumblr. Not my favorite, but definitely worth mentioning.

Brewers Flow Charts: I have no idea where this idea came from, but it's definitely one of my favorite of all time.

Witrado's Quest: One of the weirder endeavors we have ever done did a fine job of getting the Witrado hatred out of our system. Not that we like him now just that it doesn't bother us as much anymore.

THE RUNNING SERIES: I loved this if only because Brew Crew Ball to write:

"I'll link to the Ken Macha and Corey Hart chapters here...the other two are a little too obscene to even be linked from this site."

AND

"If you have a vague interest in Brewer baseball, but wish there was less analysis and more profanity on this site, then Miller Park Drunk's RUNNING series might be just the ticket for you." Continue reading →


02
Nov 09

The curious case of Jody Gerut

As the Phillies gift wrap a World Series for the Yankees, the time for offseason moves is approaching. The Hot Stove League is one of the best times of the year. Lots to think about, lots to talk about, tons of speculation and none of those pesky losses to agonize over. As the days roll on, I become more and more convinced that my favorite player, Mike Cameron, won't be back. Rumors of him signing with the Cubs swirl and all of the sudden I start to feel like this guy:

β€œIt’s like going into church on Sunday and the priest says, `Everybody go home, Jesus has now sided with the devil,”’ [Packers fan Mark Fields, who was wearing a Favre jersey with "JUDAS" written on the back] said.

(It's okay, buddy. Have some milk and cookies then go take a nap. Everything is going to be all right.)

The consensus seems to be that Mike Cameron will not be back and that the Brewers starting center fielder for 2010 will be none other than Jody Gerut. He's cheaper, he's under team control and he could put up roughly the same numbers. To prepare for this seemingly inevitable move I keep looking at Gerut's stats, his projections, his Wikipedia page and I just can't figure him out. He just doesn't make any sense. He's either going to be a great steal and an amazing asset or one of the biggest busts in team history. I haven't been this confused since my middle school thought the best way to teach kids about sex was by watching Degrassi episodes from the 80s. Not that I was complaining. (Hey Shane, if you think you are responsible enough to handle a kid when you are in middle school maybe you shouldn't eat acid and jump off a bridge a couple years later. Just a thought.)

Let's take a quick look at Jody Gerut's career: Continue reading →


12
Oct 09

LOLDS

Hey just because the Brewers aren't playing anymore doesn't mean that we can't caption a bunch of pictures of baseball players with LOLCats-esque quotes. Here's a few of our favorite moments from the first week of the playoffs.

lolholliday Continue reading →

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