02
Jun 09

The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show live from my parents basement

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This is a baseball blog that hardly talks about baseball so I thought we'd try something a little different this week and you know, actually talk about baseball. To do this I enlisted some help and had an email chat with Al Bethke of Al's Ramblings, one of my favorite Brewers blogs. Al mostly concentrates on the sabermetric side of the Brewers and generally takes a contrarian viewpoint on most things. When it's all said and done he ends up being right a whole lot more than he is wrong which kind of makes him annoying (I kid.) It got kind of long so we are going to break it into two parts, with part two tomorrow.

Miller Park Drunk: Okay, let's kick this thing off Al. One thing that I have written about in the past that has gotten a lot of feedback from my readers is the subject of booing. There are a lot of people out there who think it's okay to boo people who are under performing or making generally bad decisions. I was at the ESPN game this past Tuesday against the Cardinals and the crowd was openly booing Suppan when he was pulled. It just doesn't make any sense to me. You are a bit more of a Suppan apologist than I am, but at the same time whether I like him or not I am smart enough to realize that no matter what happens he is going to be starting every fifth day for the rest of the season. To me, you should never boo your own team under any circumstances. Boo your umpires. Boo your Barry/Manny/A-Rod's of the world. Boo your Sheffields. Leave your own team alone. It's almost like people who beat their dog for going to the bathroom in the house. It does absolutely nothing to change things and just makes your dog hate you. What I'm wondering is how you feel on the subject of booing and why do you think that so many casual Brewers fans think it's okay? I don't see how Mike Cameron striking out three times in a game is worse than their beloved Brett Favre throwing 15 interceptions in the first half. Continue reading →


29
May 09

Tonight is what it means to be young

In some ways you could say that the Reds are the new Brewers. Young talent up and down the lineup. Exciting prospects, endless possibilities. The only difference is when the Brewers were young and upcoming they had a manager in Ned Yost whose sole job was to make them comfortable and make them into steady Major Leaguers by letting them work their way through trouble. The Reds? They are managed by Dusty Baker. Who has ruined a few pitchers career in his life and prefers players like Corey Patterson over unproven youngsters. Say what you will about Ned Yost, but I am happy we've never had a Dusty Baker-esque manager around these parts. We wouldn't be where we are without him. If you don't believe me just ask Mark Prior. Or Aaron Harang.

Should be a good series this weekend. All three pitching matchups are good. I was at both losses to the Cardinals and it wasn't very fun, but at the same time I did see a few signs of life and the day off had to have helped. I might go to the game tomorrow night, haven't decided yet, but if you do have a few for me and when you hear the Ultimate Warrior music during Todd Coffey's entrance have a few more. It's all we ask for really.

Next week should be fun as we're rolling out another cool new feature. Until then, I'm going to eat some mexican food and drink some beer. Have a good one.

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18
May 09

Boy let me tell you what

Ryan Franklin

Ryan Franklin, pitcher, St. Louis Cardinals

I tell you what, I done been in this here Major Leagues for a long time and if there is one thing I can't stands it's people disrespectin' me. Hell, I done lost 31 games in two seasons back in Seattle. I knows about some disrespect, I got plenty of it from dem damn hippies that frequent Mariner games (and they say Wrigley Field is the world's largest queer bar.)

/spits chewing tobacco

You ask me, dem Brewers is just about the most disrespectful team in the National League with their high fivin' and untuckin' and struttin' round the bases like they in first place or something. I don't mind them hittin' me so much, I just hate that shirt untuckin' so darn much.

/drives pick up truck

Hell, my daddy didn't take his shirt off when he got off work. He didn't even wear a shirt! Hardly could, most days it was hotter than two rats bangin' in a wool sock! You don't see me and my teammates comin' to the ball game with no shirts on.

/listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd

Course none of this would matter if we could just beat them sumbitches to shut em up once and for good. I try to tell em we need to get out there and beat em, hell I'm serious as the business end of a .45 and we still lose. I just don't know what it is about them Brewers, but we can't lick em.

/does taxidermy

But just cuz we ain't beat em yet, don't mean we're gun quit tryin. These colors don't run and I'm gonna get me some Brewers come hell or high water. That boy Mike Cameron better watch out too, cuz I hate that shirt untuckin' business and I know it was his idea. I'm comin' for that son of a gun.

/trims beard, finds a frenchy fry


11
May 09

Ryan Braun, relax

Frankie says RelaxRyan Braun, I'd like to start this intervention by saying that I think you will go down as one of, if not THE, greatest Brewers of all time. Your combination of power, speed, improving everday defense and incredible bat speed make me so happy that you are on my team and not someone elses. Watching you reminds me of what it must have been like for Cardinals fans to watch Pujols, Mariners fans to watch Griffey (first time), Yankees fans to watch Mantle and Cubs fans to watch Henry Rowengartner. You are a very special player and you do some amazing things, but you need to relax.

Here's a small timeline of your weekend:

Friday: You strike out and throw your bat like you are 3 years old.
Later Friday: You hit a home run to win the game and stick your tongue out like Michael Jordan, then make a cocky trek around the bases.
Saturday: For some reason you decide to try a drag bunt and almost get hit in the head with the ball. When you get to first base you won't shut up about it.
Later Saturday: You hit a home run and basically stare down Dempster the entire trot around the bases.

When you add this to the Pittsburgh situation, I think it's about time you chill the hell out Braun. First of all, it is uncool to pout and throw your bat. You're not Jose Hernandez, if you strike out it is not the end of the world. The pitcher just won that round and as you have proven many times that you will win a later round. So relax.

Then, after openly pouting you hit a game winning home run. When you do this, you act like you are Superman. That you are four for four with fifteen home runs and eleventy runs batted in. We won the game, great. I am excited too, but you can't have it both ways. If you are going to celebrate your hits like that, you might try to mature a little bit on your outs. Relax. This is a game in May, not a game in October.

Saturday was probably the worst with your "I'm a soldier" routine (seriously, did you hang with Kellen Winslow at school?). I'm just going to break this thing down for you real quick. Throwing at people in baseball is highly discouraged by the commisioner's office. Throwing at superstars is right up there with HGH, if you do it there will be serious consequences. This isn't the 70s, bud. Not every pitcher on every team is out to get you. Quite the opposite. Yet at the same time when you act like you've been acting: whiny when you're out, cocky when you're not, ready to rumble and run your mouth when a ball gets close to you; guess what? You'll find a few guys who do want to throw at you, not a lot but a few and all it takes is one ball to your head and this whole thing is over. So RELAX. It's a long season stop pissing everyone off in May.


05
May 09

10 Shirts More Racist Than Zambrano Mows My Lawn

mexican stereotypeThe blog world is abuzz with news of a racist Carlos Zambrano shirt. Personally, I find the "Cardinals take it in their Poo-holes" far more offensive. Couldn't they just put Pujols? Do they really think people wouldn't get it unless they added the words "poo" and "holes"? Or what about those Fukudome shirts that said "Horry Kow"? That's pretty racist (like Breakfast at Tiffany's racist.)

Honestly, I don't care. If dumbass people want to wear dumbass shirts, I say let them. Go right ahead and wear your douchebaggery on your sleeve. It makes me look better. As for the t-shirt manufacturers, is that really the most racist you could do? If you're going to go for it, GO FOR IT. Here's ten Carlos Zambrano t-shirt ideas that are much more racist than Zambrano Mows My Lawn.

10. Zambrano did my roof.

9. 4 home runs. 20 kids.

8. Zambrano came to this country on a boat.

7. Zambrano picks good lettuce.

6. Bigger Miracle: Cubs winning the World Series or Zambrano taking a shower?

5. Zambrano only eats tacos for dinner.

4. I keyed Zambrano's low rider.

3. Zambrano: Drunk since 2001.

2. Zambrano's mom is my maid.

1. Carlos Zambrano: World's Tallest Mexican

You see, it's funny because he's Venezuelan.