25
Feb 10

This week in Witardo: Gomez, hit better

What's that? You want a regular feature making fun of A-dub? You got it! Today's story: Gomez, Slow Down.

Phoenix - I just got done watching some of the position players take BP on one of the back fields and centerfielder Carlos Gomez was in the bunch.

He's about to get real with us and bring some scouting knowledge. Get ready. He used to play, you know. Continue reading →


24
Feb 10

Better Know Your Brewers: The Newcomers

It's about that time of the year when most people are like "oh hey baseball exists wassup wit dat stuff?" and are beginning to become interested in it. (At least until the NFL Draft.) You may be peppered with tons of questions like "Is Ryan Brawn still good?", "Did they fire Yost yet?" and "CAN I GO TO OPENING DAY WITHOUT A TICKET? I JUST WANT TO DRINK IN THE LOT!" Things have changed and you might not even have noticed. That's why we're here to tell you all about it.

NEWCOMER: Randy Wolf
RELEVANT MPD POST: Casual Brewer Randy Wolf
WHY YOU NEED TO KNOW HIM: He's going to be here awhile, like the next three years. Plus, he's supposed to be the savior of our pitching rotation. No big deal.
MADE UP FACT YOU NEED TO KNOW: Randy is a regular user of craigslist's "missed connection" feature.
INTERESTING FACT(S) THAT IS TRUE: His brother, Jim Wolf, is an MLB Umpire. He bought his Hollywood Hills home from Slash. No word on how many needles were found during the move.
WORTH BUYING HIS JERSEY? You wouldn't be wrong to, but you wouldn't be right to either.
THING TO YELL IF HE SUCKS: "Hey Randy, you suck!"
RECOMMENDED AT-BAT MUSIC: Duran Duran's "Hungry Like The Wolf" seems like an obvious choice, but I'd like for him to go with The Mama's and the Papa's "California Dreamin'". 1.) because it's obvious he'd rather be playing in California and 2.) because anytime I get the chance to make John and Mackenzie Phillips jokes, I'll take it. Continue reading →


21
Jan 10

The Big Tuna will save us all

A few people out there aren't really happy with the Brewers pitching choices this offseason. The idea is that the Brewers haven't signed anyone that could be considered anything better than a #3 starter. While this has some truth to it, it's kind of a silly argument. What if the team broke the bank and got a "proven ace"? There would be no money left to get a second starter, which the team needed, and the team would be guaranteed to come out of the spring with Suppan starting (and if someone got injured Mike Burns or Chris Narveson). That's not a good plan. We don't want Mike Burns ever starting for us again unless we are playing softball at Helfaer Field. Furthermore, let's say that last season someone offered you this trade:

Mike Cameron, JJ Hardy, Jason Kendall and Seth McClung for:

Carlos Gomez, Gregg Zaun, Latroy Hawkins, Randy Wolf and Doug Davis

I mean, even a Mike Cameron fan like myself, a 13 year old saving herself for JJ or the most diehard Slipknot fan would think that's a good trade right? I'd hope so because that is a good trade and it's exactly what Doug Melvin has pulled off. The team will go into spring training with basically the same payroll as last year with upgrades at between four and five positions (C, SP, SP, SS and RP(?)) with a drop off at only one (CF). That's a really good offseason. I honestly don't know how anyone could say that outside of the Mariners anyone had a better offseason than that and it's all because of the Big Tuna Doug Davis. Who knew?


19
Jan 10

Tuesday's Nippy Beaker

rickie-weeksHere's some things to read while watching Avatar porn (SFW).

Jody Gerut, Rickie Weeks and Carlos Gomez have all agreed to deals avoiding arbitration leaving Dave Bush, Carlos Villanueva, Todd Coffey and Corey Hart as the only ones remaining unsigned. I imagine Corey Hart is going to act like a punk like he did last year.

Speaking of Corey Hart, Sandra Bullock captured the Golden Globe for best actress for her role in "The Blind Side". When reached for comment Corey said that movie was "gooder than grits." I haven't seen it because I've been too busy with the site, but maybe some day. I have seen this trailer for the A-Team though which looks quite good.

The Brewers don't play the Twins in Minnesota until May, but I just might have to make the trip up there. Why? Target Field will offer walleye on a stick. Personally, I'm more of a pork chop on a stick kind of guy. I still say they should have put a roof on that place.

Speaking of roofs, popular Milwaukee restaurant Pizza Man had it's roof and the rest of it burn down. (h/t Doctors of Za)

Here's a story for everyone who has ever complained about the wait for the bathroom at Miller Park. It could be worse, you could be a ball boy at the Australian Open and pee yourself.

Around baseball:

Looking for a new favorite player after the departures of Seth McClung, Mike Cameron and JJ Hardy? You could always join Zaunbie Nation. WARNING: Canadian rock gods Rush will start playing. Prepare to rock out.

Meanwhile, Al's Ramblings takes a break from dissing the left, making fun of old media and fantasizing about Meghan McCain to express how much he misses Seth McClung. I do too.

On this day in history Jeff Juden was born. Also, Sargent Slaughter defeated the Ultimate Warrior for the WWF title under circumstances that I would call nefarious.

Oh, and I knew there was a reason I didn't do John Cena impressions.

That's all I have for today, unless you're looking for a lesson in ownage by Jack Bauer.

Drink up.


07
Dec 09

Morning Read: Vince and Tyler’s Nice Dreams

tylerfb

Hey, look at that it's our 300th post! Kind of funny that we have no real content for it except to say that the incomparable Tyler Maas and I took some time off from our procrastinating busy schedules to talk about the Brewers offseason and make a few rape jokes for the Onion AV Club. It's much better than the last time we chatted online and I only make one reference to Rookie of the Year. You have to love the super catchy title, "What should the Brewers do in the off-season?" I guess my title "JJ Hardy won't be screwing my girlfriend anymore" wasn't up to the Onion's standards. Oh well, live and learn.

READ IT!

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