30
Oct 09

Last minute Halloween costumes

It's Halloween, but you are far too cool to dress up. You're just going to sit home, drink some beer and watch game 3 of the World Series. You tell yourself that the reason for this is because you are somehow emotionally invested in this World Series, but the truth is you just don't have anything better to do. Then it happens. That cute boy or girl from work you've had your eye on invites you to a Halloween party at their apartment, but you have to wear a costume. Only problem is it's the day before, you don't have any money and you don't have any creativity. What are you going to do?

You're going to use one of our MPD Approved Halloween Costumes, that's what you're going to do. Continue reading →


22
Oct 09

Phillies bring home NL championship, Philly brings me gifts

In my "Who ya got?" post I wrote this about the Phillies:

if they win there is a good chance we will get another video like this which would be awesome because I LOVE this video.

God, I love that video.

Well, last night the Phillies locked up their 2nd straight NL championship becoming the first team in 13 years to go back to back in the National League. Quite the accomplishment. Not to be outdone, the city of Philadelphia has given us not one, not two, but THREE FIVE videos for our immense entertainment. Why did I ever root against these guys again? Continue reading →


16
Oct 09

Witrado’s Quest Part 2

The slow news days have begun and due to MLB rules there is only a playoff game once every six days. What do we do? Inspired by our favorite site The Dugout, we've decided to follow our favorite JSOnline writer Anthony Witrado on a quest. A quest to find love, adulation and respect in a cruel world that doesn't understand him or particularly like him. Will he find what he's been seeking? Or will he fail at it, like he's failed at life so many times before? Find out in Witrado's Quest: A Miller Park Drunk Event.

In part one Anthony learned that his fellow writers at the Journal Sentinel were not fans of his. Convinced that they are the only ones, Anthony set off to find someone who is. Continue reading →


08
Oct 09

Sue this post

ryanhowardRemember that one time the Happy Youngster tried to extrort Chris Coghlan for the ball and I called him a douchebag? Well, somehow a 12-year old girl in Florida has made herself look much worse than HY could ever dream of. The story goes:

A 12 year-old girl caught Ryan Howard's 200th home run ball back in July. Afterwards, she was escorted to the Phillies clubhouse and exchanged it for an autographed ball.  This being America, she sued (or, I should say, her parents sued) in order to get the ball back.  Two days after the suit was filed, the Phillies gave her the ball back.

Actually I take that back, the 12-year old girl didn't do shit. It's her douchebag mother that has made the Happy Youngster look like an okay guy. You see 12-year old's are stupid. I wouldn't trust a 12-year old to walk my dog. You know when you hear about pedophiles going after young girls? They always skip 12-year olds because 12-year olds are too stupid to even get molested properly. If you went up to her and offered to trade her a $5 footlong for the ball she would have done it. She's 12, she's an idiot so I don't blame her. I blame her dumbass mother. Continue reading →


29
Sep 09

Beer didn’t kill Nick Adenhart

adenhartjerseyI rarely comment on the national baseball scene because I don't feel like I know enough about the entire league to have an ineresting perspective, but this story involving Nick Adenhart and the Angels clinching the division is right in my wheelhouse. The story goes like this: Nick Adenhart was killed by a drunk driver. The Angels won the division and wanted to include the memory of Nick Adenhart in their celebration and in doing so doused his jersey in beer and champagne. Which led to someone commenting this:

Is it strange/ironic to be dousing Adenhart's jersey in a drunken, wanton manner given that it was that very substance that led to his untimely death? Just sayin'...

Here's the thing, have you ever seen that stupid t-shirt "Guns don't kill people, I do"? Well, this is the same thing. The guy who killed Nick Adenhart and his friends killed them, not beer. If you took Nick Adenhart's jersey and put it in the driver's seat of a car does that also disrespect his legacy? I mean, afterall a car was the very thing that led to his untimely death! I know that's ridiculous, but it's also basically saying the same thing. Continue reading →

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