02
Jun 10

Chris Capuano tells a good comeback story

MLB: Brewers v Rangers June 8, 2007

The state of Brewers pitching in 2010 is not good. Jeff Suppan is a twelve and a half million dollar mop-up man, who doesn't actually know the difference between a mop and a sandwich. Manny Parra continues to prove that it's more likely that people will stop talking about Brett Favre than it is for him to figure it out and become an effective starter. Trevor Hoffman continues to make us hate AC/DC and Randy Wolf has been solid, but completely unspectacular, interesting, intriguing, surprising or interesting. It's not been a fun two months, to say the least.

In search of pitching, Brewers fans have thrown their hopes behind young men with mustaches, freakishly tall men with 7-foot boa constrictors and a guy named Zach with a goatee from New Jersey. However, some people (your author included) are throwing their hopes and dreams behind another. A man who once won 18 games in a season, but  also pitched in 22 straight losing games in another season. A former All-Star who hasn't pitched in three seasons and once appeared as a Brewer on The Young and the Restless. A pitcher who is very likely an insufferable douche based on where he went to college (it's Duke, as if I had to clarify) and actually owns a Segway. The pitcher is Chris Capuano and after 32 months away from the major leagues he is poised to start his first game for the Brewers since Amy Winehouse was relevant. To say the least, it's been awhile. Continue reading →


20
Oct 09

Why Felipe Lopez won’t be back

felipelopezAdmittedly I am the internet's biggest Rickie Weeks fan (check out this post that looked so awesome on Opening Day) so perhaps I am a bit biased, but I don't think Felipe Lopez will be back next season and I don't even think there is a chance. Why do I think this? It's simple. This quote from Doug Melvin:

"We view Rickie as our second baseman at this point."

Or in other words, Felipe Lopez won't be back.

Now, make no mistake about it the Brewers WILL offer him arbitration. I think that could be part of the reason they traded for him in the first place. (Last season when the Brewers traded for CC Sabathia they had a plan. Make the playoffs and then replace the farm system they lost through picks from Sabathia and Sheets signing elsewhere. Only one of those two things happened and the system wasn't as deep as it might have been therefore they weren't as free to make a move this season. That's just a theory of mine though.) The fact is he's a Boras client coming off a great season and Boras thinks he can get more than a one year deal in the open market, but for a second let's just say he accepts arbitration. Could he be back? Continue reading →


30
Sep 09

Who ya got? 2009 MLB Playoffs

Red Sox Yankees BaseballWell, you aren't going to believe this but after last night's loss to the Rockies the Brewers have been eliminated from playoff contention. Even if the planes carrying the Dodgers, Cardinals, Rockies and Phillies crash into eachother the Brewers still won't make the playoffs. Sad, I know.

Anyways I just found out that the playoffs still happen if the Brewers don't make it and despite the Brewers not being in contention they will still hold a "World Series". I am interested in this and plan to watch these "playoffs" until their logical conclusion which I assume is called the "championship", I don't know I'm new to this whole baseball thing. I only started watching the Brewers last year. Since the Brewers aren't involved I thought we should figure out who we all want to root for and pretend that we were fans of this team for the next six months until the playoffs end. So let's get down to it. Continue reading →


24
Jun 09

Cliff Lee says please for the love of god do not trade for me

It seems that these trade candidates can't stop talking about the Brewers. Jarrod Washburn, Doug Davis and Erik Bedard all made their case. Now, Cliff Lee wants a chance to talk.

Cliff Lee

Last season I had the best season of my entire career. I led the league in wins, ERA, ERA+ and won the Cy Young award. My ERA was 2.54. I was pretty lights out, but honestly I was pitching out of my mind.

Last year the Brewers were pretty good and they made a trade for my teammates CC Sabathia. After becoming a Brewer he pitched even better than I did last season posting a 1.65 ERA. He was basically the greatest pitcher in the history of all time (as a Brewer) last season.

With those things in mind I just want to ask you one favor: Please, for the love of GOD, don't trade for me. Seriously, don't. Please, please, please, please don't.

If I was a Brewer everyone would immediately expect me to perform like CC did last year. I can't do it. I can't throw 7 complete games and 3 shutouts in only 17 starts. Are you nuts? That's insane! Who could do that? Did you know that two seasons ago I got sent down to the minors? I was 28 years old! What kind of 28 year old gets sent down to the minors? A bad one, that's who. Trust me, I'm damaged goods. I don't even have a cool sounding name. Cliff Lee, that name sounds like an alcoholic furniture salesman. God, my name is so lame. You won't even be able to come up with clever signs, "Cliff Lee ya later"? STUPID! I am so lame.

Look, I want to show you something.

cliff lee's family

That's my family right there. (Yes, that's my wife. Yes, I know she looks 14. Yes, I named my son Jaxon. No, I don't have a good excuse at to why.) Look at those kids. Cute, right? You want them to have a good life don't you? I'm going to be a free agent soon. My next contract is likely going to be my last contract. My last shot to make the kind of money that they never have to worry about anything again. If I go to the Brewers, it could all fall apart. I could crack under the pressure and end up a non-roster invitee to the Pirates. Do you think those kids want to live in Pittsburgh? Nobody does. Give these kids a chance at a better life and don't trade for me. You won't regret it. I suck. It's like my manager Eric Wedge always says "I coached CC Sabathia, I knew CC Sabathia. CC Sabathia was a friend of mine and you sir are no CC Sabathia." You don't want me, you want him and I can't be him. So let's just forget this whole thing, okay?

It's not like you guys could afford me anyways.


04
May 09

Mike Cameron, I love you

mike cameronI've known Mike Cameron since before he was ever a Brewer, before Miller Park existed. Well, not known him known him, but I have been a fan of his work for quite some time. He was the key to the trade that sent Ken Griffey to Cincinatti and I lived in Seattle at that time so we became well acquainted. His defense in Center Field was the best I've ever seen. He struck out a lot, but when he made contact it went a long way and when he got on base he could steal. Basically, if Ichiro never existed he would be my favorite player and right now he is my favorite Brewer. Now? He's the same player with a slight dropoff in defense.

Now I've let my love for Rickie Weeks be known around these parts, but that's mostly because I hate people saying he sucks when he so clearly doesn't. With Mike Cameron I truly like the guy and want him to succeed. I will argue his value to my death. To me he is THE most important guy to this team's success and it might not even have anything to do with how he plays. Take yesterday's game for example. Prince hit a homerun and Mike Cameron gave him a choreographed high-five. Then Mike Cameron hit a homerun and he gave Rickie Weeks a different choreographed high-five. The more I watch the Brewers (and you notice this after wins) I see Mike Cameron do a different high-five for every player on the team. I even saw him give Ken Macha (!) the up-down high-five. Mike Cameron is without a doubt the glue that binds this team together. When CC Sabathia was around he called Mike Cameron a friend. Do you know why? Because Mike Cameron is EVERYONE'S friend. He is probably the coolest guy in all of Major League Baseball and everyone should be glad he is on our team. You know the stories about how the Brewers truly like eachother? That's got Mike Cameron's fingerprints all over it. He's a good guy and he's a winner.

The reason I am bringing this up is not to sing his praises from the mountain tops. It's to prepare you for what might happen. You see Mike Cameron has never hit higher than .273 in a season and he's only hit above .260 in 4 out of his 11 seasons. Right now he's hitting .321 and as much as we'd all like it to be true, 36 is not the season you suddenly learn to hit .300. It's just not. So there is going to be a dropoff and there will probably be a slump at some point. At some point this season you may say to yourself that Mike Cameron sucks and I just want you to know that I will have none of it. Mike Cameron does not suck. He is who he is. He's a plus defender, with above average power and speed. He is good, but he is not this good. He will decline this season and that will be okay because he will still be Mike Cameron and Mike Cameron is still the most valuable guy in the locker room that this team has.

So remember those rules of booing? This is #1 on mine: Never, ever boo Mike Cameron.

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