11
Jan 10

Randy Wolf, meet the press

dougmelvinwolfintro

Doug Melvin: It gives me great pleasure to introduce the man who I believe will single handedly turn around the Brewers next season, the man who will save our pitching staff and lead us back to the promised land of the playoffs, the man who will surely make up for the loss of the players we have let go and take us to our rightful place atop the National League, ladies and gentlemen Mr. Randy Wolf!

randywolfintro

Randy Wolf: Thank you very much Doug. I just wanted to start by saying that although Milwaukee wasn't my first choice, they did offer me the most money and I am honored to be here. I think that we have a great chance to finish at least second next year and that should be awesome. Now, if you'd like to ask some questions I'd be glad to answer them. Continue reading →


30
Dec 09

Best of Miller Park Drunk 2009

LOLBREWERS: Rickie WeeksHey, it's time for one of those year end clip shows that you love so much. You know like that time on Full House when we saw how much we truly loved and appreciated Uncle Jesse after seeing those old clips. There was no need for him to move out of the house with his family, he could just live in the attic!

Miller Park Drunk has only been open a year, but we've published over 300 posts in that time period. Call this the best of 2009, call it The Beginner's Guide to Miller Park Drunk, call it whatever you'd like, here it is.

BEST OF THE BEST

Don't You Forget About the Brewers: John Hughes, director of such classics as The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink, died this year and the Brewers paid him a tribute.

LOLBREWERS: Can't decide which one was my favorite, either Yovanni's Big Day or First Place Edition.

The Happy Youngster is a douchebag who makes us all look bad: This post really put us on the map with links from Deadspin and other major blogs. It also inspired this idiot to call us "a blogger who gives drunks a bad name", sold a few t-shirts and was semi-popular on tumblr. Not my favorite, but definitely worth mentioning.

Brewers Flow Charts: I have no idea where this idea came from, but it's definitely one of my favorite of all time.

Witrado's Quest: One of the weirder endeavors we have ever done did a fine job of getting the Witrado hatred out of our system. Not that we like him now just that it doesn't bother us as much anymore.

THE RUNNING SERIES: I loved this if only because Brew Crew Ball to write:

"I'll link to the Ken Macha and Corey Hart chapters here...the other two are a little too obscene to even be linked from this site."

AND

"If you have a vague interest in Brewer baseball, but wish there was less analysis and more profanity on this site, then Miller Park Drunk's RUNNING series might be just the ticket for you." Continue reading →


18
Dec 09

F Christmas, it’s my frickin’ birthday!

Monday is my birthday, that's right I am one of the very lucky people to be born during the week of Christmas. I know, it's crazy right!? I didn't even know it was possible for people to be born around Christmas! (I've only had people make that observation about 15,000 times in my life and believe me it never gets old. How unlucky could I be!) I have spent the majority of my life having my birthday overlooked. My friends could never come to my birthday party because of "holiday commitments" or I would always get the dreaded birthday-slash-Christmas present which, honestly, makes you feel like a second class human being. You see these other people are worth two separate gifts, one for their birthday and one for Christmas, but you? You, you little bastard, are only worth one gift combined! Honestly, you have no idea how much we love your brothers more than you! You couldn't even imagine how much we don't love you, but trust us it's A LOT! We're getting divorced and it's all your fault! Y0u think I'm kidding? I can only remember one Christmas in my lifetime that I got separate birthday and Christmas gifts. For my birthday, Super Mario World for Super Nintendo! For Christmas? A Super Nintendo! That's right, I had to wait FOUR DAYS to play with my birthday gift. Thanks a lot, mom and dad.

Lest you think I am bitter, I have figured out how to move past this and start loving my birthday again. No, I didn't convert to Buddhism. (Those people don't celebrate shit.) I just figured out how to make it work and here's how I did it. Call it:

Drinking Heavily Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love My Birthday Continue reading →


18
Dec 09

Brewers conference call

Hey, just because the season is over and the Brewers aren't able to hang out doesn't mean that they don't talk every once in awhile. In fact, I have it on good authority that a few members of the team get together every month and engage in a conference call just to catch up on what's going on with their lives. What a team of great guys! Being THE inside source for Brewers clubhouse news I was allowed to sit in on the latest clubhouse conference call and transcribe it for you gentle readers! Get excited! Continue reading →


10
Dec 09

What are you running for, Corey Hart?

I am nothing if not a people pleaser so when a commenter requested that we do a story about the Brewers being more open to running next year and "what the Brewers are running from?" I had to oblige and present you THE RUNNING SERIES.

Phillies Brewers Baseball

Hi, I'm Corey Hart of the Milwaukee Brewers and I want to be your next county commissioner. Are you tired of those potholes on route 11? Are you sick of the graffiti on traffic signs? Can you tell me a good reason we can't turn left on Sage when coming from Swallowtail Drive? Are you, like me, fed up with my opponents lies and rhetoric when it comes to the well being of our beloved county? If you're not you should be and that's why I need good people like you to come support me in this crucial election to decide our county's future. Let's look at the facts. Continue reading →