19
Jun 12

As The Weeks Turns

Rickie Weeks is having a rough season. (Wait, that's not right.)

Rickie Weeks is having a really bad season. (You know what? That doesn't work for me either.)

Rickie Weeks is having the worst f*cking season you could ever f*cking imagine and it really f*cking sucks. (Much better.)

I'm sure it's been very hard for Rickie Weeks because it's not like he's been playing all that differently. A quick glance at his Fangraphs page shows no huge glaring difference (besides his swing percentage, but even that is just a couple points off) and watching the games it doesn't look like he's doing anything different. He just doesn't seem to be getting any hits, ever. It sucks and as a dude who once photoshopped a bunch of Childish Gambino lyrics on pictures of Rickie Weeks it really sucks. I love that dude.

The question of "what to do about Rickie Weeks?" is something that Brewers fans really love to talk about. Some people want him benched or cut or traded or something else just to get him away from the team. It's hard to blame these people because there have been times where it's been easier to look at Snooki's vag pics than it is to watch him play. I get where you're coming from haters, but you are completely wrong on this one because if the Brewers are going to do anything this season it is going to be because of Rickie Weeks. Continue reading →


27
Oct 10

BOBBY VALENTINE TO MANAGE THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS!??!?!?!?!

What's the time? Rumor time. What's the time? Rumor time.

Despite not being known as a candidate by Tom Haudricourt until yesterday (and even then it's only because Ken Rosenthal told him) it is now rumored that Bobby Valentine will be the next manager of the Milwaukee Brewers.

Bobby Valentine, currently an ESPN analyst, has been managing since the 1980s, but is most famous for managing the Mets and his stint in Japan (they even made a movie about it). Bobby Valentine has never won his division in Major League Baseball, but he has managed to take two Wild Cards, lose a World Series and win a championship in Japan. So he's not completely incompetent. Still, his resume is far from impressive (his Mets teams predictably had large payrolls) but this has never stopped him from being the most popular managerial candidate for any managerial opening that comes up in any given season. Name a team and Bobby Valentine has been connected to it's managerial position.

At this point it's only a rumor. This time offered up by Bill Scott of the Wisconsin Radio Network (what is with these radio guys and unsubstantiated rumors?) who says that Bobby Valentine would be looking for a three year $10 million dollar contract. When reached for comment Jeff Suppan said "And I thought I was a ripoff." Seriously. THAT. IS. INSANE.

I'm on record as saying that I don't think managers make a big difference as far as game to game goes. It's important for them to manage the personalities in the clubhouse, but as far as game to game goes I don't think they do much of anything. Spending $10 million dollars on someone, money that could be better spent in the draft (where the Brewers pulled a Montgomery Burns last year) or on the team (where they need to find suitable replacements in always important underwhelming starter and past his prime closer positions), is ludicrous and I hope that they don't do it. I hope this rumor turns out to be just as false as the Bob Brenly one. Then we can write off Milwaukee radio as being just as stupid as Milwaukee newspaper. That'd be fun.

As for Valentine himself, he's probably a good manager. He'd probably do a good job. Just like anyone else he has his good qualities and his bad. Let's look at some.

  • He claims to have invented the wrap sandwich, choosing to ignore thousands of years of Mexican eating habits.
  • He once came back to the dugout wearing a fake mustache after being ejected. Fake mustaches, much like exposed cleavage, is always okay in my book.
  • He actually thought this out loud on TV despite it making zero sense:
    After a very well executed sacrifice bunt by Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster, Valentine spews out a pseudo-statistic, commenting that a pitcher who bunts well can improve his record by four games -- "changing a 8-8 record into 12-6".
    Uhh, yeah.
  • Along with Tom Selleck, Brad Pitt and David Letterman; Valentine is a Sigma Chi.
  • And then there is that whole Whartongate thing.

I don't think Bobby Valentine is the right guy for this team. He wants too much money, he loves media attention too much and he's shown a history to not get along with either his players or his management. Also, he wants ten million dollars.

NEXT!


15
Jan 10

Casual Brewer: Ryan Braun

I like pictures of the Brewers outside of their uniforms. Casual Brewers if you will. Feel free to create a caption.

ryanbrauncasual

Clearly, there is a God. This picture exists.

And since we're here I wanted to tell you this too.

Let's face it folks, Ryan Braun has become a clubhouse problem child.  We all know what he did last year, calling out players all while hot dogging it out on the field and embarassing the franchise in general.

After watching Ryan CHARGE the Dodgers clubhouse last year after a game, I knew it was time to trade this guy.

I'd be happy with getting a 2010 1st round draft pick, and a few mid-level minor league prospect for Braun.

What are the chances of finding a team that is willing to take this malcontent of our hands?

I've had it up to here with his poor attitude and sloppy play.

Oh ESPN Brewers message board, you complete me.

That's all for this week. We really enjoyed telling you about our gay Brewers fantasies. The ensuing comments, not so much. We'll be back Monday with some actual content. Most likely.


29
Dec 09

D10: Ten Brewers I would most like to drink with

drunkdudeLists are for lazy people. Since I am lazy, do top ten lists all the time and only occasionally write about the Brewers I thought I would create a new tag for the site called "Drunk 10". Come on, it's fun. Today we cover the Brewers we'd most like to share a drink with judged on talent, general coolness, drinking ability and likelihood to buy drinks. Apologies in advance to Ryan Braun, I still love you.

10. Rickie Weeks

I am probably biased here, but I have heard from people who have seen him out around Milwaukee that he is a really cool guy. Between growing up and Daytona Beach and all the time he spent on the DL you have to think he has beaten up a pretty good drinking resume.

9. Paul Molitor

Really should be higher based on the sheer amount of talent and things to talk about him with, but this quote from his Wikipedia: "He stopped using drugs in 1981, and has since visited schools to lecture about the dangers of drug use" drops him down. Still, even if the Ignitor sipped on a virgin pina colada while you got hammered it would still be awesome. It's Paul Molitor!

8. Jeff Suppan Continue reading →


18
Dec 09

Brewers conference call

Hey, just because the season is over and the Brewers aren't able to hang out doesn't mean that they don't talk every once in awhile. In fact, I have it on good authority that a few members of the team get together every month and engage in a conference call just to catch up on what's going on with their lives. What a team of great guys! Being THE inside source for Brewers clubhouse news I was allowed to sit in on the latest clubhouse conference call and transcribe it for you gentle readers! Get excited! Continue reading →

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