16
Jul 10

ANNOUNCEMENT: Miller Park Drunk’s Pants Party

Hey, what are you doing Sunday August 29th? There is a Brewers game that day, you know. They're even giving away CC Sabathia bobbleheads. Remember him? He was the star of the last awesome Brewers team, remember? Man, those were some good times. Seems like so long ago.

So, you thinking about going? Because I am going and I have a few extra tickets and.... yeah. We're having a party.

More specifically we're having...

Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party


It's like a party, but in my pants. Except it's not in my pants, but I am just saying that to sound funny. It's actually at Miller Park. Yep.

Here's what it includes: Continue reading →


19
Mar 10

BREAKING NEWS: Macha tests positive for Ambien

MARYVALE, Ariz. -- In a story that is sure to rock the baseball world in the same way that Ron Washington's recent positive test for cocaine has, it has been revealed that Brewers manager Ken Macha has tested positive for the prescription sleep drug Ambien.

Hours after the news broke Macha admitted that he made a "huge mistake" and regrets anyone he may as hurt in his matter. He said, simply, "It's not my fault. It's these damn kids with their rock 'n' rollin music, drinking and carrying on that is keeping me up all night. I remember when a good night's sleep started when the sun went down. It's not like that anymore and I did what I had to do."

While not currently considered a PED, Ambien is still a powerful insomnia drug that is known to put it's users right to sleep. It is not currently suspected that Macha used the drug during any games, but judging by the Brewers 80-82 record last season some skeptics remain. Continue reading →


25
Jan 10

Orlando Park To Be Named Later Drunk

The Brewers are moving to Orlando and I don't know about you guys, but I'm going with them. Think about it. Disney World! Universal Studios! Epcot Center! The Brewers! Throw in Wesley Snipes from Demolition Man a cute girl from my class and it's like my grade school wet dream. I am going to miss all of you, but I think myself and the team will be much happier there. Nice weather, good team, good location. How could this possibly go wrong?

FLASH FORWARD OPENING DAY 2012 Continue reading →