19
Jul 12

Making sense of John Axford

JOHN AXFORD IS THE WORST PITCHER EVER AND I HATE HIM AND IF IT WASN'T FOR HIM AND HIS STUPID BLOWN SAVES WE WOULD PROBABLY BE IN FIRST PLACE AND BE BIG TIME BUYERS AT THE TRADE DEADLINE LIKE WE'D PROBABLY GET PRINCE BACK AND COLE HAMELS AND PAUL MOLITOR AND JESUS AND BATMAN AND A NEW MANAGER WHO COULD PROBABLY JUST BE BATMANS BUTLER ALFRED BECAUSE HE SEEMS REALLY SMART. MAN CAN YOU GUYS BELIEVE THAT ROBIN DIED IN DARK KNIGHT RISES? ANYWAYS IF IT WASNT FOR STUPID AXFORD PULLING A derrick turnbow THEN WE'D PROBABLY HAVE ALL THOSE GUYS AND JOSH HAMILTON TOO AND THEN WIN LIKE A MILLION WORLD SERIES. WE COULD HAVE LIKE REALLY COOL COMMERCIALS WITH AARON RODGERS AND RYAN BRAUN BEING LIKE YO CHECK OUT MY RING DUDE, NO YOU CHECK OUT MY RING DUDE LOL. THE POINT IS I HATE JOHN AXFORD AND HIS STUPID MUSTACHE AND I HOPE HE FALLS OFF A BRIDGE INTO A MILLION GALLONS OF WATER THAT IS ON FIRE AND IT BURNS HIS HAIR OFF BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO CUT IT OFF ANYWAYS BECAUSE IT ANNOYS ME WHEN HE IS ON TV BLOWING A SAVE AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM PITCH EVER EVER AGAIN.

HE WAS COOL LAST YEAR THO.

I don't know maybe I'm just defensive about people who overreact to things, but that's how everyone sounds to me when they talk about John Axford. Crazy, irrational, stupid; basically like any girl who has ever dated me for over three months.

Not that a lot of the vitriol towards John Axford is undeserved. He hasn't really done his job all that well this season. He's had trouble locating his pitches which leads to walks and bad counts which lead to big homeruns. It's not been a real fun time to be John Axford this season and he knows it, just like you know that watching John Axford has not been very fun. But has he really been that bad? Continue reading →


12
Sep 11

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Milwaukee Brewers recent struggles

 

Apparently today was "everyone is freaking out about the Phillies series so Brewers bloggers write posts about how it's going to be okay" day  and if there is one thing I never want to miss out on it's a good "everything is going to be okay" post.

Jack Moore of Disciples of Uecker tried to give everyone a little context today by looking at the Brewers record against their likely playoff opponents and even points out that, despite this weekend, the Brewers have a positive run differential in their season series against the Phillies. He also points out that the last time the Brewers played their most likely first round opponent, the Braves, they took three out of four games at Miller Park and that the team's record over 162 is more indicative of their talent than these games and those are all good points that give you something to think about, sure, but Moore stops short of admitting that this is a small sample size that says absolutely nothing about the Brewers' playoff fates.

The Brewers Bar took some time out this weekend to tell us that math was still on the Brewers side. This should seem obvious, but just seeing it on the page that the Cardinals would have to go 12-5 just to tie a 5-10 Brewers team puts a smile on my face. I'd give him more credit, but then he had to go and write this:

There's still a lot of baseball left to decide seeding, but there isn't enough left for the Brewers to realistically choke away a playoff appearance... even if it seems like they're trying.

(SMH!)

Thankfully we have Adam McCalvy to point out that any team facing Chris Carpenter, Cole Hamels, Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee on consecutive days is going to struggle at the plate. He also points out that the Brewers don't play another winning team for the rest of the season, much less a team like the Phillies. Which is honestly all that really needs to be said about the weekend, but if you are one of the people who is worried about the Brewers let me ask you this. Continue reading →

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