19
Jan 10

Tuesday's Nippy Beaker

rickie-weeksHere's some things to read while watching Avatar porn (SFW).

Jody Gerut, Rickie Weeks and Carlos Gomez have all agreed to deals avoiding arbitration leaving Dave Bush, Carlos Villanueva, Todd Coffey and Corey Hart as the only ones remaining unsigned. I imagine Corey Hart is going to act like a punk like he did last year.

Speaking of Corey Hart, Sandra Bullock captured the Golden Globe for best actress for her role in "The Blind Side". When reached for comment Corey said that movie was "gooder than grits." I haven't seen it because I've been too busy with the site, but maybe some day. I have seen this trailer for the A-Team though which looks quite good.

The Brewers don't play the Twins in Minnesota until May, but I just might have to make the trip up there. Why? Target Field will offer walleye on a stick. Personally, I'm more of a pork chop on a stick kind of guy. I still say they should have put a roof on that place.

Speaking of roofs, popular Milwaukee restaurant Pizza Man had it's roof and the rest of it burn down. (h/t Doctors of Za)

Here's a story for everyone who has ever complained about the wait for the bathroom at Miller Park. It could be worse, you could be a ball boy at the Australian Open and pee yourself.

Around baseball:

Looking for a new favorite player after the departures of Seth McClung, Mike Cameron and JJ Hardy? You could always join Zaunbie Nation. WARNING: Canadian rock gods Rush will start playing. Prepare to rock out.

Meanwhile, Al's Ramblings takes a break from dissing the left, making fun of old media and fantasizing about Meghan McCain to express how much he misses Seth McClung. I do too.

On this day in history Jeff Juden was born. Also, Sargent Slaughter defeated the Ultimate Warrior for the WWF title under circumstances that I would call nefarious.

Oh, and I knew there was a reason I didn't do John Cena impressions.

That's all I have for today, unless you're looking for a lesson in ownage by Jack Bauer.

Drink up.


15
Jan 10

Casual Brewer: Ryan Braun

I like pictures of the Brewers outside of their uniforms. Casual Brewers if you will. Feel free to create a caption.

ryanbrauncasual

Clearly, there is a God. This picture exists.

And since we're here I wanted to tell you this too.

Let's face it folks, Ryan Braun has become a clubhouse problem child.  We all know what he did last year, calling out players all while hot dogging it out on the field and embarassing the franchise in general.

After watching Ryan CHARGE the Dodgers clubhouse last year after a game, I knew it was time to trade this guy.

I'd be happy with getting a 2010 1st round draft pick, and a few mid-level minor league prospect for Braun.

What are the chances of finding a team that is willing to take this malcontent of our hands?

I've had it up to here with his poor attitude and sloppy play.

Oh ESPN Brewers message board, you complete me.

That's all for this week. We really enjoyed telling you about our gay Brewers fantasies. The ensuing comments, not so much. We'll be back Monday with some actual content. Most likely.


23
Dec 09

Ten Christmas Gifts NOT to buy a Brewers fan

santaTomorrow is Christmas Eve and most of you are probably already checked out for the holiday, but just in case you are like me and completely irresponsible, waiting til Christmas Eve to buy anyone anything than I have a list for you. I can't tell you what anyone wants (probably something involving their cellphone), but I can tell you what they DON'T want. So here's 10 Christmas gifts you shouldn't get for that Brewers fan in your life, don't worry there is still time to return it! Continue reading →


11
Dec 09

You running, Ryan Braun?

I am nothing if not a people pleaser so when a commenter requested that we do a story about the Brewers being more open to running next year and "what the Brewers are running from?" I had to oblige and present you THE RUNNING SERIES.

ryanbraun

Ryan Braun, don't run from shit son. I'm a soldier! In fact, I'm about to set the record straight with a freestyle rap that I wrote on my Blackberry. (Ed. note: But Ryan you aren't supposed to write freestyles. Who are you, Drake?) Bitch, stfu. Yo DJ kick that beat. Continue reading →


11
Dec 09

Where are you running, Prince Fielder?

I am nothing if not a people pleaser so when a commenter requested that we do a story about the Brewers being more open to running next year and "what the Brewers are running from?" I had to oblige and present you THE RUNNING SERIES.

princefielder2

To goddamn Toys R Us where else. My stupid wife thinks we have to have the "best Christmas ever" this year while our kids are still young. Does that mean spending a lot of time together? No. Going Christmas Caroling? No. (Don't laugh, I do a mean "fah la la la" part in "Deck the Halls".) Watching classic movies together? No. Going to see lights? No. According to my wife the "best Christmas ever" involves me spending thousands of dollars on gifts for the kids. Is this really Christmas? Spoiling your kids so bad that they open one present and just move on to opening the next without taking time to appreciate the first gift? I say no, but it's not like anyone hears what I have to say in this family anyways. (Which doesn't even make any sense. How many Home Run Derbies has Chanel won? How many single season Brewers records does she own? Yeah, that's what I thought. Marriage sucks.)

You know, when I was a kid there was only one thing I ever wanted for Christmas: my dad's love. Did I ever get it? Hell no, but do you see me complaining? Continue reading →

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