20
Oct 11

The Brewers lost: How They’re Handling It

Are you over the Brewers elimination yet? I know I'm not. Last night was the first game 1 of the World Series I didn't watch in my entire life. Seriously, I used to turn off Sesame Street to watch that sh-t. I didn't even gamble on it! I just want to pretend it doesn't even exist. It's a weird feeling being this depressed for this long, but I'll be over it eventually. It's like breaking up with someone really. Only if when you broke up with them you knew you were going to get back together in a year, you could check in on them whenever you wanted, they were going to make changes to make themselves better and that neither of you were going to see anyone else for the whole time you were apart. So, you know, the complete opposite of what every girl who has ever broken up with me does.

Still, it's good to know I am not alone in this. Plenty of other Brewers fans have been feeling this same sense of loss and pain. It's good to be together through this, isn't it? Glad you're here. Couldn't do this without you. What's even better to know is that the Brewers themselves are going through some of the same depression that we are and thanks to my standing as the Milwaukee area, baseball specific TMZ I have the pictures to prove it. As you'll see the funny thing about depression is that no two people handle it the same way and the Brewers are no different. Continue reading →


29
Sep 11

Milwaukee Brewers Playoff Beards: A Preview

THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE! And you know what that means... PLAYOFF BEARDS!

I shaved for the last time yesterday and I am not shaving until the Brewers win the World Series! YEAH! PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!

Some of my other blogging pals have already started on theirs. Tyler Maas has been working on his for awhile, Jack Moore of Disciples of Uecker started his when he hit puberty (last summer) and plenty of my bros on twitter are going to be doing the same. Playoff beards are in this year. It's the cool thing to do if you want to appear really dedicated to your favorite team, look stupid and not be attractive to women all at the same time.

The Brewers are most likely to join in because that's the sort of thing that professional athletes do. Some Brewers, like Prince, already have beards, but others don't. Sometimes it's really hard to picture someone with a beard if they have never had one before. Facial hair is just one of those things that is hard to predict, but I don't like that. I hate the feeling of not knowing. So I did what any blogger in my situation would do. I hired those people who tell you what your baby is going to look like before it is born and I gave them a bunch of money to tell me what a few of my favorite Brewers would look like with facial hair. Seemed perfectly reasonable at the time.

The suprising results are after the jump. Continue reading →


28
Jul 11

“He’s going to be out awhile” is Roenicke speak for the season is over

We don't know much right now. We don't know exactly what's wrong. We don't know how long he'll be gone. We don't know who will replace him. All that we know is that Rickie Weeks got hurt tonight and the sky started falling.

Maybe it's just a sprain. Maybe he won't be out for long. Maybe his 15-day DL stint is just that and the Brewers won't skip a beat. I want to think these things. I want to believe these things. Yet I can't shake the image I saw tonight. Rickie Weeks, the man who takes fastballs to the face and laughs it off, the man who stands in the middle of the plate like Happy Gilmore at the batting cages just for kicks, the toughest of all the Brewers; laying on the ground unable to get up and stand on his own feet. His season flashed before my eyes and with his season went the Brewers season. There will be no playoffs for this team. The Brewers' season is over.

(Hang on a second. How am I doing? Does it sound like I'm really shaken up? Do you think I'm giving up on the season because Weeks got hurt? Are you buying this?) Continue reading →


25
Mar 11

Your 2011 Awesomely Bad Milwaukee Brewers jokes

Who doesn't like a good pun? More importantly, who doesn't love a bad pun?

Baseball can be kind of a boring game in between all the really exciting things that happen. There is a lot of time for conversation and with conversation comes jokes. Good jokes, dirty jokes and most of all bad jokes will be strewn across Miller Park this year more than Miller Lites. You will hear a lot of jokes at the park this year, but almost none of them will be good. You have to learn to expect them so that you aren't caught off guard by them. You need to be prepared for the polite laugh you are sure to give the co-worker you don't really like that much or the lonely uncle who offered to buy your ticket. Luckily for you, we have the inside track on the hottest bad jokes for 2011. We can see them coming before the bad joke teller can and we're going to share them with you right here. Preparation is the key to success. Or something. Continue reading →


10
Mar 11

A Guide to Recognizing Your Brewer Injuries

This week we all learned about Zack Greinke's basketball related injury that will keep him out for 4-6 weeks and delay his Brewers debut by a few weeks. It isn't the end of the world, but at the same it's not exactly what we had in mind for our new superstar and it sucks. What sucks even more is that Zack Greinke isn't the only Milwaukee Brewer currently experiencing an injury. In fact, there are quite a few of them and it's getting to the point where it's hard to keep up with all of them. That's why we decided to do the Milwaukee Brewers Universe a favor and create a comprehensive guide to all the aches and pains currently ailing the home town team. What can we say? We aim to please. Continue reading →

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