Tag Archives: Corey Hart

Milwaukee Brewers Playoff Beards: A Preview

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THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE! And you know what that means... PLAYOFF BEARDS!

I shaved for the last time yesterday and I am not shaving until the Brewers win the World Series! YEAH! PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!

Some of my other blogging pals have already started on theirs. Tyler Maas has been working on his for awhile, Jack Moore of Disciples of Uecker started his when he hit puberty (last summer) and plenty of my bros on twitter are going to be doing the same. Playoff beards are in this year. It's the cool thing to do if you want to appear really dedicated to your favorite team, look stupid and not be attractive to women all at the same time.

The Brewers are most likely to join in because that's the sort of thing that professional athletes do. Some Brewers, like Prince, already have beards, but others don't. Sometimes it's really hard to picture someone with a beard if they have never had one before. Facial hair is just one of those things that is hard to predict, but I don't like that. I hate the feeling of not knowing. So I did what any blogger in my situation would do. I hired those people who tell you what your baby is going to look like before it is born and I gave them a bunch of money to tell me what a few of my favorite Brewers would look like with facial hair. Seemed perfectly reasonable at the time.

The suprising results are after the jump. Continue reading »

“He’s going to be out awhile” is Roenicke speak for the season is over

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We don't know much right now. We don't know exactly what's wrong. We don't know how long he'll be gone. We don't know who will replace him. All that we know is that Rickie Weeks got hurt tonight and the sky started falling.

Maybe it's just a sprain. Maybe he won't be out for long. Maybe his 15-day DL stint is just that and the Brewers won't skip a beat. I want to think these things. I want to believe these things. Yet I can't shake the image I saw tonight. Rickie Weeks, the man who takes fastballs to the face and laughs it off, the man who stands in the middle of the plate like Happy Gilmore at the batting cages just for kicks, the toughest of all the Brewers; laying on the ground unable to get up and stand on his own feet. His season flashed before my eyes and with his season went the Brewers season. There will be no playoffs for this team. The Brewers' season is over.

(Hang on a second. How am I doing? Does it sound like I'm really shaken up? Do you think I'm giving up on the season because Weeks got hurt? Are you buying this?) Continue reading »

Your 2011 Awesomely Bad Milwaukee Brewers jokes

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Who doesn't like a good pun? More importantly, who doesn't love a bad pun?

Baseball can be kind of a boring game in between all the really exciting things that happen. There is a lot of time for conversation and with conversation comes jokes. Good jokes, dirty jokes and most of all bad jokes will be strewn across Miller Park this year more than Miller Lites. You will hear a lot of jokes at the park this year, but almost none of them will be good. You have to learn to expect them so that you aren't caught off guard by them. You need to be prepared for the polite laugh you are sure to give the co-worker you don't really like that much or the lonely uncle who offered to buy your ticket. Luckily for you, we have the inside track on the hottest bad jokes for 2011. We can see them coming before the bad joke teller can and we're going to share them with you right here. Preparation is the key to success. Or something. Continue reading »

A Guide to Recognizing Your Brewer Injuries

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This week we all learned about Zack Greinke's basketball related injury that will keep him out for 4-6 weeks and delay his Brewers debut by a few weeks. It isn't the end of the world, but at the same it's not exactly what we had in mind for our new superstar and it sucks. What sucks even more is that Zack Greinke isn't the only Milwaukee Brewer currently experiencing an injury. In fact, there are quite a few of them and it's getting to the point where it's hard to keep up with all of them. That's why we decided to do the Milwaukee Brewers Universe a favor and create a comprehensive guide to all the aches and pains currently ailing the home town team. What can we say? We aim to please. Continue reading »

2011 Milwaukee Brewers Bobbleheads: No Gallardo, lots of grit (and white people)

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The Milwaukee Brewers recently released their 2011 promotional schedule and along with it came the announcement of who would be getting a bobblehead. There are a few surprises, Randy Wolf when almost everyone thought his signing was a bust (it wasn't, but that's the belief out there) is one great example, but no head scratchers. Unless you count Craig Counsell who had a OPS+ of 76 last year and hasn't once been a starting player unless there was an injury, but there are reasons for him beyond statistics. There are reasons for everyone really.

Date Bobblehead Expected Reason
April 24 John Axford Doug Melvin's rule that at least one Canadian get a bobblehead. Also, white.
May 22 Casey McGehee JS MVP, white.
June 12 Zack Greinke Duh.
July 10 Hot Dog Whitest of all racing sausages.
August 14 Craig Counsell Is named Craig Counsell. Also, white.
September 25 Randy Wolf Brewers had to get their $30 million worth somehow. Also, white.

A lot of people have a problem with these selections because there is a disturbing lack of the "good" Brewers. No Prince or Braun for the 85th time, no Rickie Weeks or Corey Hart who had huge seasons last year and no Yovani Gallardo who has actually never had a bobblehead made in his likeness by the Milwaukee Brewers. It's weird right? It reminds of 2009 when Jason Kendall got one over Mike Cameron despite being worse in every way. To find the answer I went to another blogger who seems to be an expert in these things. I use the term "blogger" lightly because his blog isn't actually up yet and he only has a twitter account, but on this particular topic I think he knows his stuff. So take it away, KuKluxBrewKrew. Continue reading »