21
Apr 10

BEAT THOSE PIRATES

Man, if there is one thing I hate it's those stupid, smelly Pirates! They are the pits! They think they are so cool with their black and yellow jerseys and their winning record and their Indian minor league pitchers. They think their better than us, that's what they think! Hey Pittsburgh, ketchup sucks! Yeah, that's right I said ketchup sucks! Stadium sauce drinks ketchup's milkshake punks! And racing pierogis? HOW ORIGINAL! Seriously though, what the hell is a pierogi? A boiled or baked dumpling of unleavened dough stuffed with varying ingredients? STUPID! That doesn't even sound good! Sausages bang pierogi's girlfriends and never call her again!

Check out this stupid blog I found called "Where Have You Gone Andy Van Slyke?" (he's probably gone to the same place every old Pirate goes, straight to HELL.)

You have probably noticed over the past couple days that I'm not exactly over the moon about the Pirates' play to this point in the season, 7-5 record or not. What would make me extremely happy, however, is a couple wins against the Brewers this week. I know Brewers' fans think it's funny that we Pirate fans get all worked up over these two teams, but I really, really don't like Ryan Braun or Prince Fielder or their stupid untucked shirts and frankly, everyone needs a little bit of a rivalry to get through the season.

"Waaa the Brewers beat us when they play us just like every other team, but they have Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder who have more talent than any single player we've had since Barry Bonds, waaa! Let's romanticize a player who had like five good seasons for us, his joy for the game was infectious! Waaa!" Why don't you guys pull the tampon out of your diaper and shut the hell up? Maybe if your pitching coach Dave Kerwin could teach your guys how to pitch you wouldn't give up eight runs to us. Way to "play up" to your rival, losers.

Pirates? Pssh, more like butt Pirates am I right? EAT IT SUCKERS!


01
May 09

The Chris Farley Show

Today at the official site they are doing a chat with Brewers' pitcher Yovani Gallardo. I can not think of one question that I'd like to ask him. I don't really know why this is. I like the guy, he's a great pitcher and if I ever saw him out I'd try to talk to him and hang out, but in a chat? No thanks.

In the end I don't think I'll even read the transcript. So I don't want to see a Yovani Gallardo chat. What I do want to see is Yovani on The Chris Farley Show. I think that's something I might be interested in. Continue reading →


24
Apr 09

71, seriously? That’s it?

Alright, that just about wraps things up for this week. This weekend's series against the Astros should be good as Minute Maid Park is a good place to hit home runs and that's just about our biggest strength. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here when I say one of the three games will feature 10 runs scored by a single team. I need to take a couple days off to figure out what has happened in my life that led me to thinking that writing as if I was Alyssa Milano was not only a good idea, but would be a lot of fun. I'm no doctor, but something doesn't seem quite right there.

Have a good weekend and if you haven't already Become a Fan of Miller Park Drunk on facebook. So far only 71 people have done so which really doesn't make any sense considering we are giving away two free good seats. Seriously, do it already and while you're at it Follow Us on Twitter. Look at all the fun we've been having on facebook and Twitter. It's what all the cool kids are doing.

"Guess he's due for a 10 run inning now"

"If you're not willing to hug Mike Cameron when you're sober, I feel you may want to rethink your entire post."

"douchebaggery at its finest."

"@millerparkdrunk so how do I become the "official liquor store" of @millerparkdrunk?"

"@millerparkdrunk and don't get so drunk you take out the margarita stand.... Just another tid bit to add. I'm still hurtin lol"

"@millerparkdrunk I agree with you...classless, we're suppose to be showing them how to act"

Clearly, we're having a great time and you are missing out.

Out, peace.

  • BrewBay

    Could not parse file.