15
Sep 09

Haray Caray Preview Tonight’s Game

Well, yesterday I promised you a very special guest writer today and here he is, HARRY CARAY!!!!!! Also, follow me on twitter!

harrycarayHello again everybody and welcome to the Miller Park Drunk game preview of the, uh, Cubs and Brewers live from, uh, Wrigley Field. *coughs* Lemme tell ya, being dead is tough business. Ho lemme tell ya. It a beautiful day for baseball here at Wrigley Field and the Cubs look to win their second straight against the Milwaukee Brewers. Boy could I go for another cold Budweiser right now, Steve. I remember one time we were in Milwaukee when I was announcing for the White Sox, lemme tell ya I had one too many Budweisers and I woke up in a place that,  uh, I couldn't even pronounce the name of but it had those two, uh, those two dots over a couple of the letters and the worst part about it was I had no pants on! Holy cow. I much prefer to sleep in my own bed, but I guess that's what happens when you take a pill given to you by a stranger. Speaking of strangers, Steve, this woman came up to me that night and she told me she was a big Cubbies fan and then grabbed my package. She says to me, she says "Harry" and I said, "yes" and she says "is that your package in my hand?" and I looked her straight in the eye and says to her I says "It could be. It might be. It is!" I'm just pulling your chain there Steve. Man am I glad I was dead for that Bartman thing.

Hopefully the Cubs can get a win tonight and send some of these fans home happy. You know what makes me happy? Those Asian massage parlors, ho-ly cowww. Let's get some runs!


24
Jul 09

Deleted Scenes

To steal a page from Deadspin here are some deleted scenes, stuff not good enough to get their own post.

  • One of the first "big" posts we ever had was this tribute to Bob Uecker. We were linked on Deadspin and a lot of people found us for the first time thanks to that post. Originally there was a line in there that said "Bob has a stalker. Somehow I don’t see anyone stalking Ken Harrelson.", but this was later changed. Why? This email:

    To: The Editor of Millerparkdrunk.com

    Your website posting here:

    http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/baseball/ten-reasons-bob-uecker-is-better-than-whoever-your-announcer-is/

    Created on February 12, 2009 is posting an expunged record associated with my name as part of a listing. I am asking out of professional courtesy that you please remove it from the article. The allegations that you reference in item ten were false, anyway, and the posting you make can be edited to use something else in item 10. Continue reading →


20
Jul 09

25 Things About Miller Park Drunk

Remember last year when everyone on facebook was doing that "25 Things" list and then tagging you and trying to get you to do it? Yeah, I never did that. Big League Stew did a baseball related one earlier this year, but we weren't well enough known to be asked (yeah, that's why I'm sure of it). Well, in the interest of always trying different things and lack of any great ideas for our 200th POST we decided to participate. Here's what we came up with.

  1. I don't own a single bobblehead and I never have. If I did get one I am pretty sure I would sell it. Unless it was the Jeff Suppan bobblehead because that has no value.
  2. Before the season I told my friends that I would meet my next girlfriend at Miller Park. Thus far this has not happened. (I blame Ryan Braun.)
  3. When I was a kid I went to a Brewers game and got a foul ball via some Happy Youngster-esque means (batting practice+glove+ball out of reach=glove/belt combo) then later got it signed by two players: Fernando Vina and Derek Jeter. I may have been too old to have that glove, but I know that now and knowing is half the battle. The ball is still around here somewhere.
  4. I have an unhealthy man crush on Ichiro Suzuki and can often be seen in a Mariners hat. This does not change the way I feel about the Brewers.
  5. My main influences for Miller Park Drunk are Bill Simmons (like everyone who writes about sports on the internet), Deadspin, Kissing Suzy Kolber and The Dugout, but I would never be here if it wasn't for Scotsmanality (this probably best describes it, this is where Scotsman is now). He always did what you didn't expect him to do and that's something I always  try to remember. He did, however, tell me not to start this blog so it's not like he's a genius or anything.
  6. I HATE the Yankees more than any team in any sport. When my son was born a friend of his mother purchased a baby Yankees jersey for him and I told her that it would "never, ever touch his skin as long as I was alive with the possible exception of being used as a baby wipe." This didn't go over well and led to an enormous fight that I am likely still feeling the effect of, but was the absolute truth and to my knowledge has never happened.
  7. Honestly? I never considered myself a "true" Brewers fan until around the time Mark A took over the team. I always supported them, but at the same time I was smart enough to know that the Seligs had no clue how to run a team and never would. History has proven me correct in this thinking.
  8. I have never taken a college course in writing. Does this one surprise you? It's not like we're doing mind blowing work here, but I like to think we're a step above a lot of the blogs out there.
  9. As a kid my favorite player was Albert Belle. Yes, that Albert Belle. I have no explanation for this at all.
  10. My favorite Brewer (that's not currently on the team)? I like to say Paul Molitor, but I remember him more for his work as a Blue Jay. The real answer is probably Dave Nilsson.
  11. One of my life long goals is to throw a decent knuckleball. I should probably stop biting my nails if I ever want this to happen.
  12. I play Baseball Mogul almost every day and have for the past two years despite the fact that the game hates Milwaukee. Seriously, every single game I play as the Brewers has us losing money and last in ticket sales. Drives me insane. (Don't even get me started on their Braun ratings.)
  13. I rarely tailgate and usually hit the Fridays before the game. I try to keep my tailgating to times I am with a lot of people and we have the time to get there 2-3 hours before the game (I hate missing first pitch). If you are going with one or two people it's kind of pointless to break out the grill and the bags. Fridays has Spotted Cow, but keep me away from the Long Islands. That doesn't usually end well.
  14. I am now a published writer featured on Decider. You can find our story in the Milwaukee Decider or the Madison Decider depending on your location. Can you believe someone actually paid me to make jokes about douchebags?
  15. And since that article decided to use my real name, here's my favorite picture of me at Miller Park. Doing the Lion King with my son at Friday's Front Row.
    lion king

Alright, that's only 15 but I think that's enough and now you know. Thanks for supporting us for the first 200, here's to the next 200. Check out our article in the Decider. We'll be back later to talk about the newest Brewer and more.


08
Jul 09

We make the case to Roy Halladay

royhalladayRoy Halladay was more or less put on the trade block this week. Trading for Roy Halladay would definitely shut Braun up and fulfill the dreams of many fans. The Brewers would basically trade for the best pitcher available, one of the top 5 pitchers in baseball, two years in a row. There is no way they can do this without it having a serious effect on the future of the team. Does that mean they shouldn't do it? That's hard to say. With Halladay locked up for next year too, we immediately become contenders this year and next. Make no mistake about it, this would be as close as we'll ever get to trading for CC two years in a row. This trade is like that last shot you take at bar time. It's AWESOME and it might get you laid, but holy cow you will regret it later.

Me? I love Roy Halladay. He's been one of my favorite pitchers since I had him in fantasy baseball three years ago. ERA+ isn't a perfect stat, but Halladay hasn't been below average since the year 2000. He's been an above average starter since before Miller Park opened, think about that. He is crazy, crazy good. NINE COMPLETE GAMES! Plus, I love doing things that are mind blowingly awesome that end up coming back to haunt you later. That's why I have a kid.

But as Rob Base has taught us, it takes two. Halladay has a no-trade clause and he'd have to be convinced to come to Milwaukee, but we think we can take care of that for you. Continue reading →


22
Jun 09

Doug Davis wants another chance

First Erik Bedard chimed in. Then Jarrod Washburn. Now Doug Davis makes his case to be a Brewer.

doug davis

Hey guys, remember me!? Man, has it been a long time or what? Huh? What do you mean you don't remember me? I pitched three seasons in Milwaukee! I went 37-36 over parts of four seasons. Man, the stuff Sheets and I used to get into. He's still around right? Oh, well I'm sorry to here that.

You remember me though right? The tuna fish guy? Big tuna?? YEAH! THAT WAS ME! I KNOW RIGHT!

Look, I'm gonna cut straight to the chase with you. I want to be a Brewer. Arizona sucks. It's hot, it's hot and boy is it hot. Seriously, it's so hot down here cows are giving off evaporated milk! The other day I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking, that's how hot it is down here. I miss that Milwaukee weather. This Phoenix weather is so damn hot that I saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog!  It's so hot the Kool-Aid Man had a heatsroke!

Seriously though, pitching for the Brewers game would be a great opportunity for me and I would love to help the team return to the postseason. It would also be great to know what the temperature is because my thermometer only goes to 120 down here!