29
Sep 11

Milwaukee Brewers Playoff Beards: A Preview

THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE! And you know what that means... PLAYOFF BEARDS!

I shaved for the last time yesterday and I am not shaving until the Brewers win the World Series! YEAH! PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!

Some of my other blogging pals have already started on theirs. Tyler Maas has been working on his for awhile, Jack Moore of Disciples of Uecker started his when he hit puberty (last summer) and plenty of my bros on twitter are going to be doing the same. Playoff beards are in this year. It's the cool thing to do if you want to appear really dedicated to your favorite team, look stupid and not be attractive to women all at the same time.

The Brewers are most likely to join in because that's the sort of thing that professional athletes do. Some Brewers, like Prince, already have beards, but others don't. Sometimes it's really hard to picture someone with a beard if they have never had one before. Facial hair is just one of those things that is hard to predict, but I don't like that. I hate the feeling of not knowing. So I did what any blogger in my situation would do. I hired those people who tell you what your baby is going to look like before it is born and I gave them a bunch of money to tell me what a few of my favorite Brewers would look like with facial hair. Seemed perfectly reasonable at the time.

The suprising results are after the jump. Continue reading →


26
Jul 11

To trade (for a shortstop) or not to trade, that is the question

To say that Brewers nation is fed up with Yuniesky Betancourt would be like saying drugs made Lindsay Lohan less attractive. It's a gross understatement and it doesn't even tap the surface of what's really going on and what people are thinking. People are tired of Yuni and his bad throws and his one pitch at-bats and everything else he can't seem to do right. There are people who'd prefer to see Josh Wilson and Craig Counsell out there everyday instead of Yuni and it's hard to blame them for it. People want change.

Of course, Josh Wilson and Craig Counsell are not the answer. As nice as they have been as fill-ins they are still just that. Take away Josh Wilson's two early homeruns and his numbers don't look so good. Also, he doesn't wear sunglasses. Craig Counsell, as great as he is, cannot play everyday. The Brewers need a starting shortstop that can start every game and be a positive contributor to the team. Let's try and figure out what the options are and see what (if anything) the Brewers can do about the Yuni situation. Continue reading →


25
Mar 11

Your 2011 Awesomely Bad Milwaukee Brewers jokes

Who doesn't like a good pun? More importantly, who doesn't love a bad pun?

Baseball can be kind of a boring game in between all the really exciting things that happen. There is a lot of time for conversation and with conversation comes jokes. Good jokes, dirty jokes and most of all bad jokes will be strewn across Miller Park this year more than Miller Lites. You will hear a lot of jokes at the park this year, but almost none of them will be good. You have to learn to expect them so that you aren't caught off guard by them. You need to be prepared for the polite laugh you are sure to give the co-worker you don't really like that much or the lonely uncle who offered to buy your ticket. Luckily for you, we have the inside track on the hottest bad jokes for 2011. We can see them coming before the bad joke teller can and we're going to share them with you right here. Preparation is the key to success. Or something. Continue reading →


10
Feb 11

2011 Milwaukee Brewers Bobbleheads: No Gallardo, lots of grit (and white people)

The Milwaukee Brewers recently released their 2011 promotional schedule and along with it came the announcement of who would be getting a bobblehead. There are a few surprises, Randy Wolf when almost everyone thought his signing was a bust (it wasn't, but that's the belief out there) is one great example, but no head scratchers. Unless you count Craig Counsell who had a OPS+ of 76 last year and hasn't once been a starting player unless there was an injury, but there are reasons for him beyond statistics. There are reasons for everyone really.

Date Bobblehead Expected Reason
April 24 John Axford Doug Melvin's rule that at least one Canadian get a bobblehead. Also, white.
May 22 Casey McGehee JS MVP, white.
June 12 Zack Greinke Duh.
July 10 Hot Dog Whitest of all racing sausages.
August 14 Craig Counsell Is named Craig Counsell. Also, white.
September 25 Randy Wolf Brewers had to get their $30 million worth somehow. Also, white.

A lot of people have a problem with these selections because there is a disturbing lack of the "good" Brewers. No Prince or Braun for the 85th time, no Rickie Weeks or Corey Hart who had huge seasons last year and no Yovani Gallardo who has actually never had a bobblehead made in his likeness by the Milwaukee Brewers. It's weird right? It reminds of 2009 when Jason Kendall got one over Mike Cameron despite being worse in every way. To find the answer I went to another blogger who seems to be an expert in these things. I use the term "blogger" lightly because his blog isn't actually up yet and he only has a twitter account, but on this particular topic I think he knows his stuff. So take it away, KuKluxBrewKrew. Continue reading →


18
Oct 10

Sorry Casey McGehee, but the Milwaukee baseball writers are stupid morons

The Milwaukee chapter of the Baseball Writers Association of America cast their votes and selected their award winners for the 2010 season. It was no surprise that Yovani Gallardo won the Brewers pitcher of the year award and that John Axford was awarded the "newcomer of the year". I mean, who were people supposed to vote for? There was a slight upset when Trevor Hoffman took down incumbent Craig Counsell for the "Good Guy of the year award". He'll receive a write-up in the JS upon his release and a wanking motion when I read it for the award. The real travesty took place when Anthony Witrado was born in the Brewers team MVP voting. Here's how that went down.

(1st place votes are worth five points, three for second and one for third.)

NAME 1st 2nd 3rd TOTAL
Casey McGehee 3 1 1 19
Weeks 1 3 2 16
Hart 2 1 1 14
Braun 0 1 0 3
Fielder 0 0 2 2

(I had to do some guessing on the voting, but this is the way math worked based on my calculations. If I'm wrong feel free to correct me.)

I don't want to become all "I'm on the internet and I have blog, look at these advanced stats that prove how wrong this is!" guy because then I'd have to kick my own ass, but seriously Casey McGehee is probably the fifth best player on this team and he doesn't deserve this award. Let's look how he stacks up against the other Brewers and you can judge for yourself. Continue reading →

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