Epic Meal Time: Brewers Hat Brunch

milwaukee brewers December 3rd, 2012

The 2012 season is long gone, but that doesn't mean that we are completely done with it. We still have a little unfinished business to take care of. Specifically:

As we all know Nyjer Morgan made it all the way through the season as a Brewer, posting an uninspiring .239/.302/.308 slash line in a lame duck season where he was pretty much extraneous to the roster. It was a shock to me that other teams didn't want him, but at the same time I guess it shouldn't have been. While his 16 RBIs may seem compelling for a team in need of outfield help, this is the same guy who pooped in a Gatorade bottle and threw chewing tobacco at the Cardinals.

Still, I was wrong about Nyjer Morgan's future as a Brewer and I have to hone up to it. I made a promise to my fans and I never let down my fans. I'm man enough to stand behind my words and that's why I'm doing this. That's right...

Today I eat my f'n hat.

Read the rest of this entry »

The many styles of Ryan Braun, part two

FASHION WEEK February 14th, 2012

The Fashion Police return to take on Ryan Braun's Remetee!

Tyler: Like a parent who's too disappointed in their child to even bother getting angry at them anymore, I won't even bother mounting an attack on Ryan for this particular outfit. Instead, I'm going to simply ask questions in hopes both of you can help me find any explanation for Ryan Braun to be dressed this way. Read the rest of this entry »

Cincinnati Reds season preview

milwaukee brewers March 31st, 2011

The season is just around the corner and the Milwaukee Brewers are currently one of the favorites in the NL Central, but that doesn't mean it's a sure thing. There are still five other teams that want the title who will be fighting for it all season. Do they have a shot? That's what we're going to find out as we work with fans from other teams to figure out how everything is going to play out and exactly what it is we're dealing with. That's right it's the 2011 NL Central Previews!

Today's Guest: A very angry Brewers fan

(What? Do YOU know any Reds fans? Didn't think so.)

Do you know what I did today? I took off work. That jerk Bob from my department already requested off for Monday and the office couldn't do without the both of us so I am stuck working on Opening Day. I know for a fact that guy thinks Prince Fielder's name is Cecil, but what are you going do? Sometimes you hit the bar and sometimes the bar hits you. So anyways, I can't go to the home opener next week so instead I decided to take off to watch a game on TV. My wife doesn't like it because she wants to watch her soaps and the Price is Right and 17 reruns of Jersey Shore on VH1 so I end up down in the basement watching the show on a 16" screen. It's the TV we got when my wife's mom died, but it'll do. I have a few beers (that I have to open underneath a blanket so my wife doesn't hear the tops popping) and it's baseball. I'm all set up for a great day.

The game starts and it's a celebration. Homeruns are hit, Yovanni looks good and the Brewers look like it's 1982 all over again. I'm finishing beers and hiding them underneath the stairs (note to self: empty those out), everything is going great and then the 9th inning starts. Read the rest of this entry »

Goodbye Corey Hart

milwaukee brewers July 8th, 2010

I don't give a crap what happens in today's Milwaukee Brewers game. I really, really don't. After last night's 15-1 loss that saw me:

  1. Drink warm beer on the drive up.
  2. Sweat more than I ever have in my entire life during the first two innings. Seriously, with the roof and panels closed Miller Park turns into the world's largest sauna.
  3. Get flaked out on by a date (shut up, female commenters).
  4. Not even enjoy a Rickie Weeks homerun.
  5. Leave early. (!)

It wasn't the best day for me and after all of that, I don't really feel like watching or caring today. The playoff chances that me and like two other people were holding onto are now gone. The Milwaukee Brewers will not make the playoffs. The Milwaukee Brewers will be lucky to finish around .500. This isn't that bad of a thing. [I don't actually believe this one bit. It is the frickin' worst thing. - Editor] I guess we should have seen this coming after Trevor Hoffman blew all those saves and we had that one losing streak, right? We dug a big, early hole that was going to be near impossible to dig our way out of. We weren't able to do the impossible and now we will not make the playoffs. It happens, we'll try again next year (which I am totally pumped for by the way). This season is over.

This doesn't mean that I am going to quit this site or even write less. Hell, I'll probably write more now that this weight of contention is off of my shoulders. This worrying about the outcomes of every single game. I can just enjoy the games and the Miller Park experience. I can go into a few games during the third inning and not feel like I am missing anything. As a matter of fact, I think I will do that for all future Chris Narveson starts. I really wanted this season to work out, but it didn't. I can deal with this.

Now I'll be right back to talk about Corey Hart. I just need a minute to process. I'm just going to watch this music video a few times and reflect on my entire life.

It pours. Man, it pours.

/wipes eyes

Okay, aaannnnndddd I'm good. I'm back. I never wanted them to do good this season anyways. [Again, a total lie. I wanted them to do good so bad. -Editor]

At some point during yesterday's loss I realized that this may be one of the last times I see Corey Hart in person as a member of the Milwaukee Brewers. I've gotten a lot of mileage out of Corey Hart jokes on this site and I've complained about him quite a bit in the past too. What can I say? It was the cool thing to do. Still, I am really going to miss the guy and not just for the jokes. [This is sort of a lie. I will really miss the jokes. -Editor] The truth is that I've always liked Corey Hart, but he's just always seemed to let me down. I wanted him to be good, like he is now, for so long that he just ended up letting me down so many times that I lashed out. Its like when my son tells me he doesn't want to watch Wall-E. I mean, Why wouldn't you want to watch Wall-E? It's a tale of true robot love and a little robot could that shows more emotion than your stupid Veggietales could ever dream of and you don't want to watch it? What the hell is wrong with you, little kid? Its stupid and irrational for me to get this upset about it, but that's how I've always thought. Why can't you be better, Corey? And then, of course, it happened and I was too stupid to realize it. Read the rest of this entry »

Randy Wolf, meet the press

Baseball January 11th, 2010

dougmelvinwolfintro

Doug Melvin: It gives me great pleasure to introduce the man who I believe will single handedly turn around the Brewers next season, the man who will save our pitching staff and lead us back to the promised land of the playoffs, the man who will surely make up for the loss of the players we have let go and take us to our rightful place atop the National League, ladies and gentlemen Mr. Randy Wolf!

randywolfintro

Randy Wolf: Thank you very much Doug. I just wanted to start by saying that although Milwaukee wasn't my first choice, they did offer me the most money and I am honored to be here. I think that we have a great chance to finish at least second next year and that should be awesome. Now, if you'd like to ask some questions I'd be glad to answer them. Read the rest of this entry »

blank