The Brewers took a major step towards a championship season last night by FINALLY defeating their arch-enemy Ryan Dempster. Dempster has owned the Brewers since the day he signed with the Cubs and a win against him tells the Brewers "you know what? You can really do this thing! You can beat Dempster, you can beat anyone!"
Sometimes we read an article so bad we have to "FJM it" as the cool kids say. This is one of those articles as Jim Stingl covers a non-story about Miller Park seat-squatters who apparently are everywhere and won't give up the seats once they are caught. Of course, there is just one example here and it's coming from a guy who felt the best way to handle it would be to contact Jim Stingl about it so, you know.
Think you've heard the last from me on Ryan Braun? NO WAY! We got another nine years of this stuff! (Or at least another eight months of this stuff.)
A lot of people are saying the deal is a mistake and some people are saying that it's one of the worst deals in all of baseball. Those people are all stupid. This deal is risky, but it's also smart. Re-signing Ryan Braun to this deal is the best thing the Brewers could have done.
When the press release for Jim Hendry's new book How to Finish Near Last Place with the Highest Payroll in the League was first circulated through the Miller Park press box this past weekend it was widely thought to be a hoax by someone attempting to be funny and probably not an all together good attempt at that. So imagine our surprise when in our inbox we received a copy of the new book for review. It's not nearly long (or good) enough to write a lengthy review on and at times we had trouble reading the Comic Sans font the book was written in, but it is... interesting and is probably the closest we'll ever get to an "inside view" of the general manager position by an acting (for now) GM.
The book opens with a foreword by Lou Piniella that starts off nice enough thanking Jim Hendry for the opportunity to write for the foreword and also to manage Cubs, but after about two sentences it quickly devolves into an airing of grievances against everyone in baseball who has ever slighted him. By the last paragraph every sentence is typed in all-caps with multiple profanities interlaced within. The foreword ends, tellingly perhaps, with Piniella writing:
AND F*CK YOU TOO STEVE STONE LETS SEE YOU MANAGE A F*CKING TEAM.
HOPE YOU ENJOY THE F*CKING BOOK, BUT I'M NOT GONNA F*CKING READ IT.
Surprisingly when Hendry takes over the book doesn't change very much in tone from Piniella's foreword. Each chapter addresses a common complaint among fans about his work with an impassioned defense of the move followed by a "summary" of the point he was trying to make. While it may sound unnecessary, it is very helpful as Hendry has trouble making his points and often loses sight of the original topic by going into tangents about those "a-holes in the bleachers" and various local radio DJs.
I won't spoil all of the summaries, but I will cover a few of the ones that were leaked in the press release. Continue reading »
When you go to a baseball game the odds are you are going to have a conversation and unfortunately, due to the nature of baseball and it's natural boring-exciting-boring flow, the conversation will not always be about the game on the field. Sometimes you will talk about the team and the GM and whether or not the manager should be fired. Sometimes you will talk about your relationships and your kids and the future. Sometimes you will talk bad about your friends who aren't there because you know it's really fun to do. You will talk about many things and just so you know if you are sitting in the vicinity of me I will eavesdrop on you. Part of this is because I like to try to enjoy the game and will be silent at certain points, believe it or not often times your conversations will come at times when you should probably be paying attention, and part of this is because I am a keen observer of the human condition. I'm a writer, you know. (*dismissive wank*)
When I went to Wrigley Field for two of the Brewers games there this week I ended up doing this quite a bit. I found out, to my extreme delight, that my lady friend shares the same hobby and will laugh at the stupid things that people say. (And then get entirely too angry about the stupid things that people say.) For instance, there is this Miller Lite sign in right field on one of the rooftops. Last season it read "We prefer a pennant race to a sausage race" and now that the Cubs are terrible again it reads "The brat stops here." I, of course, complained about this. It doesn't make any sense. I mean, the Brewers play at Miller Park. MillerCoors shouldn't be making fun of a team that they sponsor a stadium for. Do they think that Brewers fans are never going to see it? Why can't they make fun of the Cardinals? It's a joke. Anyways, at the game there are these doucheholes sitting behind us who are just saying stupid thing after stupid thing. We laugh at them, then we laugh again and then we think about leaving early just to get away from them. It's just too much, these guys are world class douchebags. Then one of them, to my horror, notices the same sign and starts to say many of the same thing as I did. It's weird how my own thoughts are echoed through this idiot's mouth and I start to think way too much about it. Am I this big of a douche too? Does she just figure that out? Am I getting left here? I didn't even get to do the weird stuff! And just as I'm about to begin defending myself in a desperate attempt to save myself, they do it for me.
"It's weird, you know, because the Brewers are owned by Miller. That's why they're called the Brewers because Miller owns them."
"I don't give a fuck about the Brewers, dog."
And they're called the Cubs because Wrigley chewing gum owns them. Of course. Continue reading »