15
Apr 10

Too early to panic? Most likely

I've kind of gotten the idea that a lot of Brewers fan are really unhappy with how the season has started. Gregg Zaun, Jim Edmonds, Carlos Gomez and Alcides Escobar haven't done much of anything. The pitching hasn't really been very good allowing eleven more runs than the Brewers have scored and I count two games the Brewers SHOULD have won (yesterday and Trevor's first blown save against the Cardinals) that they didn't. To top it all off the poster boy for why 2009 sucked, Jeff Suppan, is making the start tomorrow in the sweep deciding game against the Cubs. It's not a very happy time to be a Brewers fan right now and I definitely understand all of the frustration, but let's not start jumping off the bandwagon just yet. Let's wait until Gregg Zaun gets his second hit before we do that. (Next Thursday good for you?) Seriously though, it's going to be okay. Put the Packers jersey down.

First of all, we expect to be battling the Cubs and Cardinals all season long for the NL Central title. We expect to battle them because they are good. If we lose to them, we are losing to a good team. That's not as bad as it sounds. Even if Suppan pulls a Suppan today we are 3-6 and if he doesn't we are only a game under .500. Hardly a reason to give up on the season and start watching Donald Driver Time Warner commercials on youtube. You have to try and remember that this is baseball and there are at least 250 games left. 3-6 will seem like a distant memory when the team is playing the Astros for the 15th time.

Second of all, after today's game our next five opponents are:

  • The Nationals (WOOHOO!)
  • The Pirates (Yeah!)
  • The Cubs (at home, uhh!)
  • The Pirates again (/makes thrusting motion)
  • The Padres (/takes advantage of a teddy bear)

Ummm, yeah. If after all that the Brewers are like 10-14 I can MAYBE see a reason to worry, but not now. I think they'll be fine and I'm not just saying that because Gregg Zaun and Carlos Gomez are on my fantasy team. I really believe it (and I just made up that fantasy team part because seriously, who would ever draft Gregg Zaun and Carlos Gomez to be on their fantasy team? That would be stupid.)

Besides Prince Fielder hasn't even hit a home run yet. Can we really judge the Brewers season based on a handful of games that Prince Fielder didn't even hit a home run in? I say no.


09
Apr 10

Weekend Preview: The battle for the NL Central starts tonight!

POO-HOLES GET IT?!? LOLOMGROFL

Hey, it's Friday and it's the first week of the season what better way to kick off the weekend against our hated rivals from St. Louis. Much is made about the Brewers/Cubs, but honestly I think a lot of that is Packer fans trying to recreate their animosity for the Bears. The Cubs, as a team, have never done anything bad enough for true hate. The Cardinals on the other hand have given us a really good reason to hate them, they beat us in our one and only World Series. Sure, I was like 10 months old at that time but still. Screw those guys.

I won't be going to any games this weekend so I won't get a chance to try and have sex in the bathroom. At least in Miller Park, that is. (Hey yoooo!) We're slowly but surely getting back into the swing of things here and next week should be bursting with more of the crude, semi-sexist, semi-Brewers related content that you've grown to love. Until then follow us on twitter and facebook. We'll see you Monday.


16
Mar 10

CUBBIES SEASON PREVEIW

So I know what I said before about never coming back, but I just couldn't help myself when it comes to the 2010 Cubbies. The Cubs are too damn good NOT to write on the internet about! This Is The Year. Plus, I couldn't stand the thought of that douchebag Vince writing some stupid crap like "we don't think the Cubs are that good this season". Hey buttface, it's only you! There is no we! 'We' would imply you had friends, which you don't.

Before I get to the Cubs, I want to say a few things about some of the things that have been going on at this god forsaken site lately.

  • I don't see what everyone's problem with Ryan Braun's restaurant hiring good looking people. We do this in Chicago all the time. You know why? Because if we hired a fat girl to work at Giordano's she'd eat all the pizza!
  • Here's something I actually agreed with, the Opening Day post. I love Opening Day because I can go down to Wrigley Field about 8am and start doing Jager bombs. I usually get so drunk I totally miss the game, lol. One time my boy Danno got so wasted he got thrown out of the bleachers. That's like getting arrested in jail. Classic. I never miss Opening Day.
  • You people in Milwaukee have some crappy tattoos. You need to get some cool barbed wire around your muscle like me. You'd probably have to stop eating cheese and actually work out to do that though. NEVERMIND!
  • Finally, this pro wrestling post may be the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. What's next, MPD? What Star Trek characters are Brewers? What Dungeons N Dragons guys are Brewers? What Brewer would be the best at World of Warcraft? Way to show your nerd colors, nerd.

Enough of this stupid Brewer talk because the BREWERS SUCKKKK!. Let's talk about a real baseball team. Let's talk about YOUR CHICAGO CUBBIES! Continue reading →


14
Jan 10

Casual Brewer: Calico Jack

I like pictures of the Brewers outside of their uniforms. Casual Brewers if you will. Feel free to create a caption.

Jeff Suppan

"Hey thanks a lot for pitching on 4/12/09. My family and I had a great time"

"It's my pleasure."


30
Dec 09

Best of Miller Park Drunk 2009

LOLBREWERS: Rickie WeeksHey, it's time for one of those year end clip shows that you love so much. You know like that time on Full House when we saw how much we truly loved and appreciated Uncle Jesse after seeing those old clips. There was no need for him to move out of the house with his family, he could just live in the attic!

Miller Park Drunk has only been open a year, but we've published over 300 posts in that time period. Call this the best of 2009, call it The Beginner's Guide to Miller Park Drunk, call it whatever you'd like, here it is.

BEST OF THE BEST

Don't You Forget About the Brewers: John Hughes, director of such classics as The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink, died this year and the Brewers paid him a tribute.

LOLBREWERS: Can't decide which one was my favorite, either Yovanni's Big Day or First Place Edition.

The Happy Youngster is a douchebag who makes us all look bad: This post really put us on the map with links from Deadspin and other major blogs. It also inspired this idiot to call us "a blogger who gives drunks a bad name", sold a few t-shirts and was semi-popular on tumblr. Not my favorite, but definitely worth mentioning.

Brewers Flow Charts: I have no idea where this idea came from, but it's definitely one of my favorite of all time.

Witrado's Quest: One of the weirder endeavors we have ever done did a fine job of getting the Witrado hatred out of our system. Not that we like him now just that it doesn't bother us as much anymore.

THE RUNNING SERIES: I loved this if only because Brew Crew Ball to write:

"I'll link to the Ken Macha and Corey Hart chapters here...the other two are a little too obscene to even be linked from this site."

AND

"If you have a vague interest in Brewer baseball, but wish there was less analysis and more profanity on this site, then Miller Park Drunk's RUNNING series might be just the ticket for you." Continue reading →

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