02
Aug 12

Six stupid things people need to stop doing right now

I really didn't mean to do two "people are dumb" posts in a single Off Topic Week, but sometimes you just have to. I have a captive audience here and hopefully my words can hope to better mankind. It's the entire point of running a site called Miller Park Drunk really.

I am a writer and as a writer I am a keen observer of the human condition. I am also a borderline alcoholic so I spend a lot of time drinking in public with other people. Thirdly, all my best friends are dumb (except for you, best friend who is reading this.) Because of this unique combination I have a window into humanity that not many other people do. I see people do things on a daily basis. I see things that bother me, things I love, things I hate, but mostly things that annoy the hell out of me. Look, I'm not one of these people who hates everyone and everything. I really want to like people. I want to have a good time and have lots of friends and be happy, but some people just make it so hard to do that. What is the problem guys? Be young. Have fun. Drink Pepsi.

There are many annoying traits in people that I can handle. Stupid laughs, loud gum chewing, bad taste in movies and overuse of cologne are all traits that I dislike, but can accept and remain friends with you. However, if you do any of these following six things? Fix it. Right now. Or we are donezo. Continue reading →


24
May 12

Earl Weaver vs Ron Roenicke

This might come as a surprise to you, but I like baseball. I like watching baseball, I like playing baseball video games, I like talking about baseball and I like reading about baseball. One of my favorite baseball books of all time is Earl Weaver's Weaver on Strategy.

For those of you that haven't read it (read it) or don't know much about Earl Weaver let me tell you a little bit about him. He managed the Baltimore Orioles for seventeen seasons carrying a .583 winning percentage and only finishing with a losing record once. His Orioles team won six division championships, four American League pennants and one World Series. He was also ejected from over 90 games and is 5'6" tall. (That last thing doesn't really have anything to do with anything, I just like to point out when famous people are shorter than me.) He did all this in the pre-Wild Card era in the AL East. He was really great and I don't understand why every manager isn't forced to study his book like 1999 Vince studied Sable's issue of Playboy.

Watching Ron Roenicke manage it is clear that nobody ever forced him to study it and he's probably never even read it. (In Ron's defense it's not like his brother had the best years of his career playing under Weaver or anything. Oh wait...) This is strange because I've always had the feeling that the way Earl Weaver managed a team and the way Doug Melvin built are a team are nearly identical. Weaver's managerial philosophy was "pitching, defense and the three-run homer" and if that doesn't sound like a team Doug Melvin would like to build I don't know what does. (I say would like to build because the scars of Yuniesky Betancourt are still fresh.) Unfortunately for Doug somewhere along the way things got crossed up and he hired (another) manager who doesn't follow Weaver's 10 Laws. Instead he employs someone who breaks at least five of them on a daily basis. This is not good, but the good news is that the answers are RIGHT THERE ON AMAZON.COM and all Roenicke has to do to better himself as a manager is to read this book.

Or this blog post. Either way. Continue reading →


22
Apr 12

Stop cyber bullying @JohnAxford

In the modern world that we live in today there are many things that seek to ruin our way of life. Terrorism, global economic collapse, James Franco, anthrax (that's still around, right?), Drake songs, Secret Service men who pick up hookers, Nicki Minaj, gingers and George Zimmerman all threaten our livelihoods on a daily basis. We push on because that's really all that we can do, but there is something else out there that threatens us far worse than any of the things I previously listed. That great danger is cyber bullying.

For the uninitiated cyber bullying is when one person harasses another person using technological means. This could be bullying via facebook, text messaging, twitter, myspace, friendster, google plus (lol), email or a variety of other ways. People use technology to hurt other people. Now this may not seem like a big deal to you and you might think that cyber bullying is a joke, but I assure you it is all too real. I mean, have you seen that Friday Night Lights with Lyla Garrity's slam page? That was some scary stuff. She seemed genuinely upset and she isn't even that good of an actor.

Normally this type of thing only takes places among middle and high school students and we can ignore it like all the other stupid stuff kids do, but recently it has seeped into a part of my life that I simply won't stand for: people started cyber bullying John Axford. Continue reading →

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