26
Aug 11

9 Simple Rules For Dating A Cubs Fan

There was a long period of time in my life where I actually wanted to be "the" Miller Park Drunk. It wasn't just going to be a clever name for me, it was going to be a lifestyle. I wanted to go to as many games as I possibly could, drink and eat as much as I could at those games and then wake up around noon hungover to write about my adventures on this site. That was the goal. Work hard in the winter and spend my summer drunk at Miller Park. It wouldn't be an easy thing to pull off, but I wanted to try because if there is one thing I love in this world more than myself this site and the Brewers it was being "the" Miller Park Drunk.

Last season I went to over 20 games and was drunk at many of them. I ate lots of good food at all of them. The Brewers won a few and lost a few more. I had great times and culminated the year with basically the best tailgate party ever, the Pants Party, that featured a pants-less keg stand by yours truly. I was doing it. I was living the MPD Lifestyle. The dream was becoming a reality, but that was last year and last year is over. This year? I've only been to one game.

Let that sink in for a second. The self proclaimed Miller Park Drunk has only been to one game and he only had like two beers at it. How did this happen? Why did this happen? How could this happen? Is the integrity of our universe in stable condition? Am I okay? Is this why I hardly update the site anymore? The answer to all of these questions isn't as bad as you may think it is. It's rather simple in fact, the reason that I stopped living the MPD Lifestyle is because I got a girlfriend. A girlfriend who was a Cubs fan. Continue reading →


11
Aug 10

MPD Book Cover Review: Chicago Cubs Cookbook

It is said that looking into Derrek Lee's eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, the Cubs future is always the same.

Let's make Tyler Colvin make a stupid face. No, let's make Tyler Colvin make a stupid face and put a red pepper right in front of his nose! Yeah, it's not like he's our most marketable player or anything.

Hi, I'm Koyie Hill. No, I don't know why I am on the cover of this either.

Hey, let's get Fukudome in there and give him some chopsticks. Get it? Because he's Asian!

It's-a me, Dempster! I hope-a you like a spicy meatball!

You know who we should put on this cover? Alfonso Soriano. I know he's routinely booed at Wrigley Field and he still has four years and almost $70 million left on his untradeable contract, but still. I feel like he should be on there. Maybe something with a lime? He is Dominican, you know. Those people love limes.

I figured so what if he's had a few anger issues? He apologized; Carlos should hold the knife.

Just look at Ted Lilly; he just looks like he's going to be traded to the Dodgers by the time this book comes out.

Two catchers? Really?

Seriously, Dempster is such a douche.

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