Ever since I was a little kid I've loved the X-Men. I was raised watching that 90's X-Men show on FOX Kids that was actually really awesome and not stupid like all kids shows today. (Another awesome show from this time period was Batman: The Animated Series which outside of the Christopher Nolan trilogy is the best Batman has been portrayed in any form of media.) When the movies came out I was there on opening night. The first X-Men movie was actually the first DVD I ever owned. I've read a lot of the comics and highly recommend Joss Whedon's Astonishing run and Grant Morrison's New X-Men. Wolverine was dumb and X-Men 3 is basically the worst stuff ever. My X-Men cred is legit.
A recent after bar conversation got me thinking about the idea of being a mutant. Would I want to be Wolverine? Of course I would. Wolverine is a bad ass. (Weird crying bitch Wolverine from X-Men 3 does not exist and I will fight you if he say he does.) But is his power the best? I say no. Did you know he can't really get drunk? I mean, he can and has many times before but it takes forever and his body is constantly trying to fix his liver damage as he drinks. What the heck, body? I'm trying to destroy you here. Let me destroy you. Nobody really wants to be Cyclops. One because he is a nerd and two because it would suck having to wear that stupid thing on your face all the time. We all know Rogue's would suck because that's the entire point of Rogue. Beast? Give me a break.
This is a serious question that I've spent hours and hours of my life dissecting and analyzing in a desperate attempt to to figure it out. This is what I've come up with. Continue reading →