22
Feb 11

Milwaukee Brewers prepared for the best spring training ever

Spring training has begun for the Milwaukee Brewers and excitement has reached an all-time high. With the trades for Yuniesky Betancourt and Shaun Marcum; the team, fans, management and everyone in Wisconsin has expectations through the roof. It might sound crazy to say, but this might just be the most important spring training of our lives.

Or it could be just like every other spring training. A lot of stupid questions, terrible speculation and a whole bunch of BS. For example, check out what Ryan Braun recently had to say about new manager Ron Roenicke. Keep in mind Ryan Braun had been in spring training for an entire day before making this statement.

It’s a thousand times different now. The whole atmosphere, the whole environment is much more positive. There’s just an aura of excitement. When you walk in here, you can literally feel the difference. We can all sense it and it’s exciting. The more positive your work environment is, the more conducive it is to accomplishing anything you can to be successful. He was really positive and optimistic and he was a great communicator. I think those things are something we all look for in a leader and a manager.

Really, Ryan? You gained all of that from one day?

(I secretly hope that Roenicke was just saving his negativity until today's first full practice so we can see Ryan Braun come out and say "Yeah, so, Roenicke's kind of a dick.")

Still, he said it so it's out there now. The Brewers are now in a better, more positive atmosphere and even better Ryan Braun is in the BEST SHAPE OF HIS LIFE.

So we can cross "_______ is in the best shape of his life" and "this year feels different/everything is better" off of our spring training story to do list. What else can we cross off? Continue reading →


30
Oct 09

Last minute Halloween costumes

It's Halloween, but you are far too cool to dress up. You're just going to sit home, drink some beer and watch game 3 of the World Series. You tell yourself that the reason for this is because you are somehow emotionally invested in this World Series, but the truth is you just don't have anything better to do. Then it happens. That cute boy or girl from work you've had your eye on invites you to a Halloween party at their apartment, but you have to wear a costume. Only problem is it's the day before, you don't have any money and you don't have any creativity. What are you going to do?

You're going to use one of our MPD Approved Halloween Costumes, that's what you're going to do. Continue reading →


30
Sep 09

Who ya got? 2009 MLB Playoffs

Red Sox Yankees BaseballWell, you aren't going to believe this but after last night's loss to the Rockies the Brewers have been eliminated from playoff contention. Even if the planes carrying the Dodgers, Cardinals, Rockies and Phillies crash into eachother the Brewers still won't make the playoffs. Sad, I know.

Anyways I just found out that the playoffs still happen if the Brewers don't make it and despite the Brewers not being in contention they will still hold a "World Series". I am interested in this and plan to watch these "playoffs" until their logical conclusion which I assume is called the "championship", I don't know I'm new to this whole baseball thing. I only started watching the Brewers last year. Since the Brewers aren't involved I thought we should figure out who we all want to root for and pretend that we were fans of this team for the next six months until the playoffs end. So let's get down to it. Continue reading →


16
Jul 09

Ryan Braun tells you where to go and what to do, but somehow fails

Ryan BraunDid anyone else get this email? Because we did.

Hi,

When traveling to a new a city or looking for a new restaurant or club to try at home, a simple Google search just doesn’t cut it. What if you could get recommendations on where to eat and what to do from people ‘like you’ or, even better, from celebrity, super-human athletes like Ryan Braun.

LikeMe.Net, the next generation in social media, offers just that. It’s a recommendation search engine, which tailors your search to your specific interests. Awesome. Even better? Finding out where Ryan Braun spends his time when he’s not crushing it baseball field.

You can see his video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHHhc92gUI

Check out his recommendation page at: http://www.likeme.net/users/RyanBraun/recommendations

Let me know if you have any questions. Enjoy All-Star week.

Cheers,

Lauren

First of all, why the hell should I care where Ryan Braun recommends me to eat? To be an athlete in the kind of shape he's in he probably has to eat food like the bread that Jews eat during the Sabbath. No thanks. Second of all, he recommends places in California or Florida which doesn't exactly help me much. Here's the restaurant Katana which Ryan describes as "The food is so great, and there are a lot of beautiful people here. It's just a great place to go before going out." Great food and beautiful people? It's like gourmet narcissism! The menu looks decent and surprisingly affordable (unlike another Braun spot Prime 112 and their $23 soup), but it also looks like a place that Spencer's creepy flesh colored beard would hang out at. Fail Braun, fail.

Braun also goes on to recommend everything from cellphones (Blackberry Curve 8330: "I'm a businessman now so it's all about email efficiency.") to (surprise) Remetee clothing ("It's something like between Affliction and Ed Hardy. My partners are the majority owners of Affliction. We just felt like it was an opportunity to do something that was a little more colorful and friendly, and for me, it's something I really enjoy. It's available in Nordstrom, Macy's, Bloomingdales, etc."). I wonder if they ever thought of that for a slogan for Remetee, "Remetee: It's just like Affliction or Ed Hardy, only with more pink and purple!" The best part of Ryan Braun's recommendations are the baseball stadiums. That's a really nice touch. Here's his review of Wrigley Field:

It's a special place to watch a ball game. Every fan should experience this place -- a lot of day games, a lot of drinking and tailgating, and as a visiting player, we enjoy going into this atmosphere and environment. It makes it a lot of fun.

I am starting to wonder if Ryan knows the definition of tailgating because in order to tailgate I am pretty sure that you need an actual, you know, place to park. I could be wrong though. (Nope, I'm right.) I'm also kind of wondering if Ryan is saying that baseball players like playing when everyone is drunk during the day because he certainly seems to imply that. That'd be pretty awesome actually.

He also covers his hometown Dodger Stadium:

I grew up in L.A., and I still live there. I really enjoy getting the opportunity to go back when we play the Dodgers. I'm able to reflect on where I'm at, what I've accomplished, and what I'm doing because I grew up a big Dodger fan. It's fun to play against them -- they have a good team, we have a good team. It's not necessarily a rivalry because we only play them a couple times a year, but it's always a lot of fun and a good series.

Do you know how many games Ryan Braun has played in Dodger Stadium? I don't want to be a dick about it, but these things aren't that hard to find out and it literally takes about 20 seconds to look it up online. Two games. That's it. Sure, he could enjoy playing the Dodgers and he most definitely enjoys going back home but you've been there ONE TIME. This is my biggest Braun pet peeve, he talks like he has been in the league for 20 years and constantly gets away with it. He's like a 14 year old who wants to talk to you about sex. Give me a break.

I hate being down on Braun all the time though. I mean, he really likes playing in Milwaukee and signed a contract that he didn't have to sign to stay here. We should be happy. I mean look at this compliment he gives Milwaukee:

Don't sleep on Milwaukee. The people here really take their summers seriously because they don't have good weather very often. It's been great to me so far. It's fun.

At least I think that was a compliment.


29
Jun 09

Jeremy Jeffress was gonna pitch, but then he got high

high timesAs I am sure you have heard by now the (arguably) best pitching prospect in the Brewers system, Jeremy Jeffress was suspended for 100 games. He tested positive for marijuana for the second time in his career. Now, we can get into all the "smoking pot is not that bad!" stuff another time. The fact is that it's illegal to smoke pot and it's against baseball's rules to smoke pot and this guy smoked pot and got caught (twice). If he does it again and gets caught he will be banned from baseball for life. Fair? Probably not, but those are the rules and when you work in an industry where the starting paycheck is six figures you can probably stand to follow a few rules.

The best part of this whole deal, is Jeffress' manager who had the gall to say this:

"Jeremy is extremely remorseful for what happened and will be voluntarily checking himself into a rehab facility to deal with his problem," Kusnick said. "Jeremy is sick and needs help. We are here to support him in getting his life back. Right now, the most important thing is to help him get his life back, and baseball will take care of itself.

"He is sorry for letting everyone down who believes in him."

He can't possibly be serious can he? He knows we're talking about pot right? To quote Bob Saget in Half Baked "I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?" You can't have a "problem" with marijuana, you can't be "sick and need help", people don't overdose on weed. If he wants to "get his life back" maybe he should just, you know, not smoke pot. That's all he has to do. There is no addiction to kick and he doesn't need rehab, he just has to put the bong down. That's it.

Unfortunately, I don't see him ever doing that. I've been around people who smoke pot my entire life. Know how many have quit? Zero. Guess what those kids getting high behind the dumpster at Burger King before a sixth grade dance are doing today? SMOKING POT! Guess what my mom is doing right now? The same thing she did when she was pregnant with me, SMOKING POT! Once you reach the point in your life when you are listening to a Phish album and think to yourself "hey, this is pretty good," you're done. It's over. You are going to smoke weed for the rest of your life. You don't care if it costs you jobs or relationships because smoking weed is fun and it makes watching professional wrestling THAT MUCH COOLER.

So don't give me that "Jeffress has a problem" crap, the only problem that Jeffress has is that he's an idiot who doesn't know how to use a Whizzinator or the internet.

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