06
Aug 09

Every team needs a punching bag, Jason Kendall is ours

jasonkendallI've been watching baseball my entire life and if there is one thing I've learned it's that you have to hate at least one person on your favorite team at all times. It's impossible to love 25 guys at the same time. You have to dislike a few. All season long Jason Kendall and Jeff Suppan have been neck and neck for the title of punching bag, but with Suppan's injury and Kendall's recent slump it seems that Kendall has taken the crown once and for all. And I couldn't be happier.

With Suppan it's always more about expectations and money than it is about performance. He is not good, I am not saying that he is. It's just that he is a 4th starter and he is expected to be a fourth starter, he just happens to be paid exorbirantly well for a fourth starter. It's not his fault that he took the money, who wouldn't? He is what he is.

With Kendall it's different. He's a catcher and catcher's aren't supposed to hit, but he is so bad at hitting that it's become a joke. The story goes that he overcomes his hitting by his value in handling the pitchers. The pitchers like throwing to him. Let's just go ahead and debunk that REAL QUICK. Continue reading →


03
Aug 09

Brewers happy to finally face Dodgers

sadbrewersfanLOS ANGELES -- The Milwaukee Brewers are glad to finally make it to Los Angeles and face the Dodgers who currently have the best record in all of baseball. The Brewers are 52-53 and four and half games out of the National League Central division race.

"I'm from here and I own a house here so it's always good for me to come back to LA, but I think this time it's good for the rest of the team as well. We're all looking forward to it" said star slugger Ryan Braun.

"The past few weeks have just been impossible. The Reds, then the Pirates, then the Nationals and then we had to come to San Diego for the Padres. It's like 'hello, Bud Selig you're a Brewers fan. Stop stacking the deck against us already'" Manager Ken Macha went on to say "I'm just happy to be here in Los Angeles to play the Dodgers. Have you seen their lineup? Against our pitching? Hopefully this will end our illusions about the playoffs once and for all. I just want to get back to Pennsylvania before the cold sets in."

Currently CoolStandings gives the Brewers a 7.6% chance of making the playoffs and with an easy August schedule followed by 13 games against the two teams currently ahead of them in the standings, many Brewers fans thought they still had a chance this season. Not so says current starter Braden Looper. "It is what it is. Anytime you put someone like me who has given up more home runs than Ryan Braun has hit against the Dodgers, it's not going to end well. I've made peace with this. I've been reading a lot of Joel Osteen books lately."

However, not every Brewer is negative about the teams chances. Non-Pujols MVP Prince Fielder said he likes the teams chances between bites of a Kripy Kreme and Tofu salad, "It's never over til it's over. You always have a chance until you don't. That's when it's over. Hey, can you hand me that stick of butter? Works great as a salad dressing." Legendary closer Trevor Hoffman offered perhaps the brightest outlook, "I was on the Padres last season and we only won 63 games. It doesn't get much worse than that. I'm just happy to be in a somewhat winning situation."

The Brewers and Dodgers kick off their series Monday at 9:10 PM Central.


28
Jul 09

Sitting Waiting Wishing: The Zen of Miller Park Drunk

zenchaThe Brewers should win today. We're playing the Pirates.

The Brewers should turn it around today.

The Brewers are going to make a move to get better.

The Brewers should win today. We're playing the Nationals.

The Brewers should be making a trade today.

And so on. It's starting to feel like all I do is wait on the Brewers. Since the All-Star break they are 4-7 despite playing only one team with a winning record. They are below .500 and four games behind the Cubs. The Cubs, people. I'm just about as easygoing when it comes to this team as a person can be. Suppan gives up 5 runs against the Pirates in 3.1 innings? That's okay, we'll score seven. I know it. Then we do and then we lose. Dave Bush isn't coming back? That's okay we'll go out and make a trade. Only we don't. We're 4-6 since the All-Star break and at .500? That's okay, the Nationals are coming to town. Then Josh Willingham hits two grand slams. And honestly, I got a bit shook for a moment. I actually said things like "if they don't win this game, it's over". I started to go through my tickets and tried to figure out if I could break even selling the rest of them. I was on the verge of giving up IN JULY which is so ridiculous and unlike me that I had to sit myself down and tell myself to relax. Then I gave myself two Ambien and called myself in the morning.

Look, I don't know what the team should do. Well, actually I do. They should put together a winning streak. Stay close. Win the next 5 games against the Nationals and Padres (or at least 4 of them). The August schedule is ridiculously easy. After the Dodgers, the best team they play is the Astros (despite the better record their run differential is terrible). Other than that it's the Pirates, Padres, Nationals and Reds. This is the time. Win these games. Then find out what you're made of in September when they play 13 games against the Cubs and Cardinals. That's when we'll know if this team can do it, but to get to that point they have to beat these easier teams. Stop making the Nationals and Pirates look like the Yankees and Red Sox. They have to have a good August. It's not over yet, despite what the record or the numbers might tell you. Looking at the schedule the Brewers should be favored in 27 of the next 30 games so anyone who says the Brewers should be sellers at the deadline clearly doesn't know how to read a schedule.

So I am not going to freak out. I am not going to say that the team needs to make a trade or get rid of this guy or that guy. I am not going to call for anyone's head. I am just going to continue to sit and wait and wish and things should even out so that they're ready to do something when September rolls around. That's when things matter and that's my advice to you dear fan. Relax. We still got a long way to go and the road to get there is pretty smooth all through August. Now if you'll excuse me I am going to drink a six pack and do some yoga.


23
Jul 09

The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show starring Right Field Bleachers

pat sajak showWell after the success of the last Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show starring Al's Ramblings we decided to do another one with Jared and Tyler from Right Field Bleachers. They have really been doing some good stuff lately with the Halladay trade and have really come into their own since they decided to just write about whatever they wanted instead of other people's opinions. This one didn't go off as smoothly as we'd have liked and it took us kind of a long time to complete, but we had a pretty good rapport and we churned out some good stuff. Some of this may seem dated now as we started this before the All-Star Break, but I stil think you will find it enjoyable.We start off talking about if that last stretch decides the season and the team was one or two games out and now they are still two games out. So I guess it's relevant (and I guess it didn't).

Miller Park Drunk: Okay guys, let's get this thing started. As I write this the Brewers are playing the Twins and they aren't looking very good. There are people out there who think the team is donezo and really you can't completely blame them. A big part of this team's success this season was dependent on Manny Parra and Dave Bush pitching competently on now we are without both of those guys. This is one of the toughest stretches of the season for the team right now. After our hated rival Twins leave town, the current Wild Card leader with one of the best pitching staffs in the majors comes to town, followed by the Mets (who thankfully are beat up), then we go to Chicago who are just starting to heat up, division leading Cardinals and end up with the best team in baseball the Dodgers. If the Brewers go around .500 over this stretch it's not the end of the season (afterall, we still get to play the Natinals, Pirates and Padres), but it would seem the team needs to do well. I think this team will be in the hunt for the playoffs up to the very end, but even I have my doubts (and I'm drunk half the time.) There are arguments to be made that the pitching staff is broken and can't be fixed or that the team played over it's head early (coughWeekscough) or any number of things. Where do you guys see the team going from here? Is this really the stretch that decides the season? Continue reading →


22
Jul 09

Does Ryan Braun hate me?

Interesting question poisted to me by commenter Citizens Bank Park Drunk recently: do you think Ryan Braun hates you? His argument was that whenever Ryan Braun does ANYTHING of note we seem to end up making fun of him and someone like Ryan Braun likes to stay connected, likes to know whats going on in the world. Even if he only read more "major" sites like Brew Crew Ball, Decider or Brewers beat writer Adam McCalvy's blog he would have come across a link to us at some point. Or if he googled Remetee, we would come up on the 2nd page. The odds are that if Ryan Braun is looking for information on himself on the internet that he has come across this site and that we haven't been too kind to him. In the past we've made fun of his likeme page, his calling out of teammates, his friendship with A-Rod, his thirst for revenge, his way of getting angry, his clothing line and personally blamed him for troubles with ladies. The only times I've been real "nice" to him are when he turned down the Bachelor and this post where he had an awesome day. It would seem that if Ryan Braun did ever read Miller Park Drunk that he would hate it and that makes me sad. Like real sad. Sad like this little girl.

sadlittlegirl Continue reading →

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