04
May 09

Enough with the gimmicks people

Let's do things a little differently today. I am going to show you a few pictures and you can decide for yourself how you feel about them. Then when we are done with that, I am going to tell you exactly how I feel about them. Sound good? Good.

banana asshole

gorilla assholes

keg asshole(Thanks to StB08 on Twitter)

bunny asshole

Now, taken one at a time these people could be considered funny, cool or at the very least creative. I give them kudos for their creativity and enthusiasm. However, I seriously doubt their intentions. When you are dressing up like this, you aren't going to the game to watch the team play. You are going to the game to get attention. Of course these people want the Brewers to win the game, but what REALLY makes them happy is for people to give them high-fives and say "Oh man, I love your costume." And you know what? I am not going to do it. I am not going to give them the adulation they so desperately seek. They are attention whores. Plain and simple. The only attention whores I like are the ones who double as regular whores too.

Every single series I go to I end up seeing more and more of these people. They multiply like someone poured water on Gizmo's back. I'm not saying I want to live in a world where these people don't exist. Like my mom used to tell me, every family needs a big, fat, stupid idiot. The thing is there are far too many of these people out there right now and if someone doesn't say something now this may spin out of control. To the point where every game starts to look more like a costume party at Elton John's condo than a baseball game.

So here I am saying it: cut it out. You hear me guys in the gorilla outfits? That can't be comfortable and this isn't a freaking Phoenix Suns game. You hear me banana guy? I honestly don't even understand what you are going for there. You hear me rabbit head? (Actually, you probably don't. That head looks pretty thick.) This is a BASEBALL game, you are here to watch BASEBALL. Save your furry fantasies for the bedroom. I swear to you that you can have fun at this place without dressing like that. SO STOP IT.

(None of the above applies to shave stuff in your chest guy. Don't ever change my friend.)


28
Apr 09

Trevor Time is now Beer:30

Trevor HoffmanTrevor Hoffman made his Milwaukee Brewers debut last night in a non-save situation thanks to a 5 run ninth inning. The debut was long awaited and much needed. When I went to the game on the last home stand there were already t-shirts on sale that said TREVOR TIME on them before he ever appeared in his first game. When you add in his bobblehead day it becomes clear that the Milwaukee brass wants the fans to embrace Trevor Hoffman. And why not? He is the closer with the most amount of saves in history. He deserves to be embraced.

I've had my doubts about Trevor Hoffman if only because I'm a baseball ageist and if Todd Coffey, Mitch Stetter and Mark DiFelice have proven anything this season it's that you don't need to spend millions on the bullpen. However after last night, his first appearance of the season, I think I am changing my stance on Trevor Hoffman. I like this guy. He reminds me of George Burns in 18 Again!.

Let's face it this is a young team and we need someone like him around. We need a guy who can tell the players what is what like in the world before democracy free agency. We need a guy who played through World War II AND the '94 strike. What better way to warn our young players about the swine flu than someone who lived through polio? Veteran leadership cannot be discounted and there is really no better man for the job than Trevor Hoffman* to provide that.

As long as you don't blow a lot of saves, I like you Trevor Hoffman. You're a-okay in my book.

(*=Unless, of course the Brewers sign Julio Franco.)

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