Searching for Miller Park Drunk

Off-Base September 2nd, 2010

We get a lot of hits from search engines. Almost 3000 last month alone. Sometimes it's people looking for our site who are too lazy to type the address in and other times it's people trying to find pictures of Randy Wolf's girlfriend. Which I love because this is what they find:

That picture gets me every time.

Anyways, some of the search terms are kind of insane and hilarious and we thought it'd be fun to share some of the better ones. Read the rest of this entry »

Bradley Center Drunk returns

Off-Base April 27th, 2010

During the offseason I wrote about the Bucks a couple of times. There was this faux chat that turned all too real (then again predicting Redd and Bogut to get hurt isn't that big of a gamble) and this long, beautiful love letter to Brandon Jennings which is one of my favorite things I've ever written here. Here's what I said then, just three games into the new season.

Brandon Jennings is the most important athlete in Wisconsin not named Rodgers, Fielder or Braun.

There, I said it. It's out there and I can't take it back. After watching the Bucks take on the Chicago Bulls last night, I feel this stronger than anything I've felt since I said that The Happy Youngster was a douchebag. I've made my fair share of Bucks jokes in the past and I've even made fun of Brandon Jennings before, but I had no idea he was this good. I had no idea that he'd be, within three games, the best point guard the Bucks have had since Sam Cassell flew away on his spaceship.

And now here we are. Tied 2-2 in an NBA playoff series which means that the BUCKS are in the playoffs. Crazy, right? This is a team that drafted Joe Alexander and Yi Jianlian as serious lottery picks. A team that hasn't had a winning season since 2002-2003. This not only was not supposed to happen like this, it wasn't supposed to happen at all. Yet here we and there's a pretty good chance I completely underrated Brandon Jennings.

I was at the Bradley Center and it was rocking like I've never seen it before. The crowd was electric all night and there is no doubt in my mind that Josh Smith has serious regrets about ever saying a thing about Milwaukee. (How did he not get a technical in the second quarter?) Would any of this have happened without Brandon Jennings? We can talk about all day about John Hammonds making great moves all season long. Delfino, Salmons, Stackhouse, but it all starts with Brandon Jennings. He singlehandedly turned the tables of this franchise and the more and more I think about it I can't believe that Brandon Jennings is a Buck. Guys like Brandon Jennings just aren't supposed to be Bucks, like guys like Ryan Braun aren't supposed to be Brewers. Read the rest of this entry »

Apparently people don’t like this sort of behavior, your Cubs series preview

Fans April 23rd, 2010

Apparently people don't like it when people do stuff like this, which is kind of stupid really. If I saw a guy walking down the street with his friend filming him I'd boo him too. (That's probably why I got fired from my job as an extra on that Keanu Reeves movie.) This is so obviously pre-planned you'd think it was for a reality dating show. There is absolutely no reason to be filming that unless you want to get attention and make Cubs fans look stupid. (Hint: they don't need your help.)

I'm not saying they weren't dicks, but the fact is that this sort of behavior is to be expected at a baseball game especially one where you are an away fan. If you don't expect to hear "you suck" at least fifty times, you're an idiot. It's kind of the point, you want one team to win and one team to lose. If someone is around that wants your team to lose, you don't like them. That's just how it works, it's not a big deal. Someone is going to boo you, don't frickin' cry about it.

The site I found this video on had a discussion in the comments calling this "distasteful" saying "they can't take their kids to games" and my personal favorite "as a Cubs fan, I am quite embarrassed." Really? He got booed. BOOED. People used their mouths to make a "boo" sound and directed it at him. That's it.

Did he get a drink thrown at him? No. Read the rest of this entry »

MPD’s Guide to St Patrick’s Day

Off-Base March 17th, 2010

It's that time of year again, St. Patrick's Day. Along with Cinco De Mayo and someone else's birthday, it's one of the world's greatest excuses to get drunk for no real reason. Many children have been sired on this day and many people have gotten their first taste of the long arm of the law during a St. Patty's Day celebration. It's a shame really that some people have to ruin a perfectly good drinking day by getting into some sort of trouble. Luckily, your past problems will remain there because from today and on into the future you will have this guide to get you through. You are welcome.

Miller Park Drunk's Guide to St. Patrick's Day Read the rest of this entry »

CUBBIES SEASON PREVEIW

CUBBIES March 16th, 2010

So I know what I said before about never coming back, but I just couldn't help myself when it comes to the 2010 Cubbies. The Cubs are too damn good NOT to write on the internet about! This Is The Year. Plus, I couldn't stand the thought of that douchebag Vince writing some stupid crap like "we don't think the Cubs are that good this season". Hey buttface, it's only you! There is no we! 'We' would imply you had friends, which you don't.

Before I get to the Cubs, I want to say a few things about some of the things that have been going on at this god forsaken site lately.

  • I don't see what everyone's problem with Ryan Braun's restaurant hiring good looking people. We do this in Chicago all the time. You know why? Because if we hired a fat girl to work at Giordano's she'd eat all the pizza!
  • Here's something I actually agreed with, the Opening Day post. I love Opening Day because I can go down to Wrigley Field about 8am and start doing Jager bombs. I usually get so drunk I totally miss the game, lol. One time my boy Danno got so wasted he got thrown out of the bleachers. That's like getting arrested in jail. Classic. I never miss Opening Day.
  • You people in Milwaukee have some crappy tattoos. You need to get some cool barbed wire around your muscle like me. You'd probably have to stop eating cheese and actually work out to do that though. NEVERMIND!
  • Finally, this pro wrestling post may be the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. What's next, MPD? What Star Trek characters are Brewers? What Dungeons N Dragons guys are Brewers? What Brewer would be the best at World of Warcraft? Way to show your nerd colors, nerd.

Enough of this stupid Brewer talk because the BREWERS SUCKKKK!. Let's talk about a real baseball team. Let's talk about YOUR CHICAGO CUBBIES! Read the rest of this entry »

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