25
Feb 12

MPD SPECIAL FASHION REPORT: Brewers heels

So this is something that is actually happening in real life right now...

Stephanie: I, as are many of you, am riding high on Braun winning his appeal Thursday and then him absolutely crushing his statement Friday. (Did you guys see his hair? And that navy blue button down jacket thing with all of the pockets? Am I starting to like this new Braun?) But then Vince brought me back down to Earth and by Earth I mean a special Hell on Earth where Milwaukee Brewer themed suede pumps are a thing.

The website reads, “PLEASE BE CERTAIN YOU WANT THESE SHOES BEFORE YOU BUY. Due to demand, these shoes are currently available by Pre-Order ONLY.”

What stupid twats are ordering those fucking things? I love the Brewers with my entire being, but I do not want to wear high heels plastered with blue and yellow to a baseball game (you all know my thoughts on heels at the ballpark by now). Oh and they are suede! SUEDE!! Do you know what beer does to suede?? Well you are gonna find out when you wear them to opening day, dickholes.

I guess, we must now begin to mentally prepare ourselves for the parade of fat chicks we will see waddling into Miller Park wearing these heels with jean skirts this summer.

Vince: These heels are kind of conflicting to me. I mean, not liking the Brewers is like number three on Vince's Oh No-No's List (I learned my lesson on that one (that intro..ugh.)) I need to be with someone who loves this team at least 1/10th as much as I do. A girl wearing these heels would be a good sign that she might be worthy of hanging with vintown. On the other hand, oh my god are you frickin' kidding me? The only people who should own these heels are the kind of people who let their kids dress them before a night out on the town. Pink bra? Sure! White tank top? Sure! Brewers heels? Sure! These girls don't care what they look like, they only care that they are wearing clothes and that those clothes are covering their naughty parts (but not too much, wink wink.)

Actually, you know what, I'm sorry there is one other type of person who would like to own these. Really weird roleplaying sex perverts. If you want your wife/girlfriend to dress up like Ryan Braun on your birthday and play a couple rounds of bat and ball with you, that's your business. Buy these heels and never break up with her because she is ruined for the rest of humanity.

Look, I love the Brewers. LOVE the Brewers and the idea of a down ass bitch wearing her Brewers pride on her sleeve (feet?) is appealing to me, but this is just too far. This isn't Nam. This is fashion. There are rules.


10
Feb 10

Calm down McClung Nation

After reading this great interview at Right Field Bleachers with Seth McClung and reading the comments of my last post I felt the need to address McClung Nation. Seeing as this was the only blog name dropped in the article.

Seth McClung is "just a guy that’s very fortunate to play baseball". He's genuine, he's down to earth, he's a good person. He's what we'd all like to think we'd be like if we played baseball. He's not Ryan Braun who, based on reactions we've gotten in the past year, is a douchebag that you wouldn't want anything to do with if he couldn't hit a baseball. He's not Alcides Escobar who from all accounts abandoned his wife and daughter and he's not Trevor Hoffman, a first ballot Hall of Famer who has played since some of you were born and made millions of dollars. Seth McClung was someone we could all relate to as a human being and that's pretty cool. I believe all of these things and I think Seth was a pretty cool guy during his time in Milwaukee. He really tried to connect with the fans and his twitter was always entertaining, be it for the things he said or the way he spelled them.

(Speaking of twitter, this line in the interview was kind of bullshit. "I apologize to whoever Miller Park Drunk is about my misspelling things on there. I’m sorry that you don’t understand that 140 characters is usually 140 characters and I don’t really have a great spell check on my phone, but I hope everybody enjoyed it as much as I did and I enjoyed the fans. It was just my way of connecting." I do understand the character limit and that doesn't really make up for the fact that honored isn't spelled honerred and memory isn't spelled memorey (via) and a thousand other examples I could come up with if the account still existed. Either way, I was just making a joke and his spelling had no effect on my feelings towards him as a person or a player. So you're bad at spelling, who cares? There's no need for excuses. I'm bad at writing a blog. It doesn't matter. We're both good guys.)

Seth, along with his so-called doppleganger Todd Coffey, ranks highly on my 2009 Brewers I'd like to drink with and that's just about the highest compliment that I can give to someone. I liked him on the team which is more than I can say about a lot of players. However, this statement just isn't really true: Continue reading →

  • BrewBay

    2004 SPx Rickie Weeks patch auto autograph jersey 665/999 Milwaukee Brewers
    2004 SPx Rickie Weeks patch auto autograph jersey 665/999 Milwaukee Brewers
    US $9.99
  • Brewers Tickets

  • E-Mail Miller Park Drunk