11
Jun 10

Rangers series preview: Don’t look now, the Brewers have won 3 of 4!

June 08, 2010- Milwaukee, WI. Miller Park..Milwaukee Brewers Casey McGehee  hit a walk off single, scoring Rickie Weeks  and Prince Fielder  in the bottom of the 9th inning..Milwaukee Brewers won over the New York Mets 3-2..Mike McGinnis / CSM.And all three wins were of the walk-off variety? Why isn't anyone talking about this? Let's throw in last Saturday's game against the Cardinals where they took them to the 11th inning before losing and the Brewers (not named Randy Wolf) have been playing pretty decent baseball for about a week now. Hart is hitting everything out of the park, Jeff Suppan has left the building, Gallarado can't be touched, Casey McGehee is the most clutch person on the planet and we might actually have a closer (gasp!), this is pretty good times if you ask me. At least compared to what we had before. Then again, I'm an idiot.

Can we beat the Rangers? Of course we can! They are stupid! And Texan! Continue reading →


22
Sep 09

Miller Park Beer

Brewers fan beer tapOutside of my man-crush Mike Cameron hitting two home runs and my buddy Jeff snagging a Prince foul ball that nearly broke his hand, I don't really have much to say about yesterday's game. It was not that good of a game and there were WAY too many Cubs fans. (I guess stubhub having Loge Infield for $9, Bleachers for $1 and Terrace Reserved for $0.50 is too much for some Brewers fans.)

Whatever, I don't want to talk about it. I want to talk about beer, man. I love beer. It's so good and cold and makes you feel funny. It makes girls prettier and people think I'm funnier when I drink it. It makes $70 purchases at the team shop seem okay. I'm convinced that Ken Macha is drinking beer most of the time because I think using Corey Patterson in any situation would seem like a good idea if you were drinking beer. Beer is so cool.

The thing is I go to enough games that I know the best way to drink beer. The best places to get it and everything else. Here's a little guide about it.

Miller Park Drunk's Guide to Drinking Beer at Miller Park Continue reading →


22
Jun 09

Jarrod Washburn would like to return to Wisconsin

Last week Erik Bedard made the case to be a Brewer. This week his Mariners teammate Jarrod Washburn makes his case to be a Brewer. You know he's from Wisconsin right? He is, he went to UWO and is from La Crosse.

Jarrod Washburn

Let me tell you something about Erik Bedard: screw that guy. He's a jerk. One time he asked me if I wanted to go curling with him and I just told him that whatever he does in his free time is his business, but that he should keep that fag crap away from me. You guys don't want him in Milwaukee, he's Canadian. You want someone who understands what it's like in Wisconsin because he is from Wisconsin. A guy who likes hunting, Brett Favre, drinking beer and eating fish fry. A true Wisconsinite through and through.

I've been in Seattle for a few years now and you know what they got for fish fry? Nothing. What they do have is a poached salmon in a blackberry cream sauce served with a pan fried organic green tomato or some crap. Who the hell wants to eat that? I miss potato pancakes.

I'm currently having one of my best seasons with a 3.24 ERA at age 35 which is in no way weird. Some people think that it's because of the outstanding outfield defense I have behind me, but don't listen to them. I'm pitching great. Not only that, but I don't have that stupid slant-eyed catcher back there messing up my game plan. I'm in the midst of my greatest season and would love to take my success out of this queer town and back to Wisconsin. I'm so excited I could almost guarantee a playoff spot. Almost.

(You see, I was kinda wondering if maybe I could just play with the team until 9/12? That's the first day of bow hunting season and it's not like I am going to show up in the playoffs anyways (at least the World Series). Whitetail, on the other hand, are just about the smartest animals in the world and I want to bowhunt them to prove that I'm smart too.)

I'd really like to be a Brewer because it'd be nice to go to a clubhouse that isn't filled with gays and foreigners who don't speak American. I'm sure you'll be fine with Suppan and Looper (I mean, it's not like we're that different), but I think you could really use me and I'd love to be back.

seattlehippy

Please? That guy is a season ticket holder.


05
May 09

Braun’s Big Day

Yesterday I had my first softball game of the season. It was a win for The People's Champs so that was nice, but words can't really describe how tired and sore I am. Maybe I should re-think this whole Miller Park Drunk, drinking beer and eating delicious foods lifestyle (pause for laughter). Yesterday was a pretty big day for me, but it really pales in comparison to the day of Ryan Braun.

Ryan Braun

/wakes up

/pisses excellent

Ryan Braun: Well I am off to the doctor for my MRI now.

20 minutes later...

DOCTOR: Ryan, there is nothing wrong with you.

Ryan Braun: Yay!

DOCTOR: In fact you are a perfect human being. You are what Hitler had in mind when he seeked to create a super-race, which is ironic because..

Ryan Braun: Sorry Doc, can't talk. I have to get to Pittsburgh.

/gets into car

Ryan Braun: Oh no I need gas.

/stops at gas station

GIRLS: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE ARE TOTALLY FREAKING OUT

/smiles

GAS STATION ATTENDANT: Don't worry Mister Braun, this one's on me!

Ryan Braun: Sweet!

/drives down the block, a mad woman runs up to his car

MAD WOMAN: My baby! My baby! Someone save my baby!

/runs into burning house

/saves baby

/smiles

/arrives at airport and gets on the plane

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: For your in flight movie we will be showing The Goonies.

Ryan Braun: Yeah!

Two hours later..

/checks cellphone, 1 new text message

DIGITAL KEN MACHA: we r down 2 we need u k? lol ttyl

Ryan Braun: I don't think he knows what lol means.

/arrives at ballpark instantaneously

/dresses in a matter of seconds

/pinch hits

/hits game-tying double

/smiles

[pic via CuteSports]

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