With opening day vastly approaching we must discuss the topic that plagues women season after season: what the hell am I going to wear to the game? I don’t know about you but the goal of my game day outfit is to (obviously) support the team, look cute and be comfortable enough to do one or seven beer bongs in the parking lot before first pitch. However, from spending many of my summer days at Miller Park I have noticed that not all girls share this thought. Some girls have absolutely no clue what they are doing while others were clearly dropped on their head as a baby, but don't worry it's going to be okay. I’m here to calm your fashion nerves so you are ready for the 2012 baseball season.
There really is a wide range of options you can do for a day or night at the ballpark. Don’t overthink it. Overthinking an outfit will lead to you being very matchy-matchy and having an over styled look. Baseball games are fun and carefree so the clothes you are wearing should be as well.
You know what is not carefree? Wearing a tight dress and heels to the game, the only exception to wearing an outfit like that is being married to a player or being a hooker…or both. But at every game there will be those damn 20-something year old chicks wearing a bandage dress and stilettos. And of course, by that trollop’s side will be her goateed boyfriend wearing a shirsey of some player who was traded in 2006. Naturally, he will also be holding her baseball helmet full of cheese fries so she doesn’t look fat. Don’t be that couple. Please don’t be that couple. Continue reading »
Are you a sucker like me who missed out on Opening Day tickets and now find yourself forced to buy tickets off of the secondary market? Doesn't it suck? I mean, most of the people at the game aren't even going for their love of the Brewers. They're going to drink. Most of them won't even make it in for the first inning. Hell, I know some people are going just because they heard the Packers are going to be there. What the hell is that all about? In many ways Opening Day is a lot like New Year's Eve aka amateur night. People like us go to bars year round, but all the people who don't come out on New Year's Eve and act like idiots. WOOOO! The calendar year has changed by one! We are all one step closer to death! YAY! Who gives a crap? Act like an adult. (Says the guy who did a keg stand in his boxers.) Still, Opening Day holds a certain allure and I don't want to miss it. It's a fun time when the Brewers play their first game at home and I've been for the past few years. I want to go again.
So, the secondary market it is. For pretty much every game for the rest of the season I can end up going to the game for less than face value, but for this one I have to pay over market value for tickets. What to do? Continue reading »
The idea of a movie being made of something that you came up with is a dream for just about everyone I've ever known. The Social Network based on facebook comes out in October and I think it's going to be a really big hit. It won't be long til Myspace, Youtube, ebay and twitter all have their own dramatic retelling of their origins. After that when the well has run dry on the "name" sites, movie studios will look to smaller sites for movie ideas and that's where we come in.
Is a dramatic retelling of the origins of Miller Park Drunk a pipe dream? Maybe, but there is a trailer for it on the internet and if people watch it anything is possible.
I've been to Opening Day for the past three years now and this would be my fourth year in a row. Basically, since I moved back to Wisconsin I have gone to Opening Day every year. I've had good times and I've had bad. I've had girls hold my hand because they were drunk (or as I like to call it, second base), I've had a fight broken up because the other person liked Kobe Bryant just a little too much, I've gone crazy for my favorite player and I've dealt with that traffic that you see in the picture. It's always been fun, but so has every Brewers game that I've ever been to. (Well, except for that one.) I guess the question I am asking is, does a good Opening Day matter? Should I even bother? I mean, as a person who is kind of crazy about baseball, a person who spends a lot of his free time writing about it for free on a website, you'd think that I'd be a shoo-in for Opening Day, but lately I've been questioning it. Continue reading »
Remember that one time the Happy Youngster tried to extrort Chris Coghlan for the ball and I called him a douchebag? Well, somehow a 12-year old girl in Florida has made herself look much worse than HY could ever dream of. The story goes:
A 12 year-old girl caught Ryan Howard's 200th home run ball back in July. Afterwards, she was escorted to the Phillies clubhouse and exchanged it for an autographed ball. This being America, she sued (or, I should say, her parents sued) in order to get the ball back. Two days after the suit was filed, the Phillies gave her the ball back.
Actually I take that back, the 12-year old girl didn't do shit. It's her douchebag mother that has made the Happy Youngster look like an okay guy. You see 12-year old's are stupid. I wouldn't trust a 12-year old to walk my dog. You know when you hear about pedophiles going after young girls? They always skip 12-year olds because 12-year olds are too stupid to even get molested properly. If you went up to her and offered to trade her a $5 footlong for the ball she would have done it. She's 12, she's an idiot so I don't blame her. I blame her dumbass mother. Continue reading »