08
Dec 10

So, who should we embarrass now?

Two days ago we did a post about the Milwaukee Brewers trade of Brett Lawrie for Shaun Marcum and within the post we posted some pictures from Brett Lawrie's facebook that made him look like a douchebag. Since then the post has blown up, yesterday alone saw over 20k hits and we nearly tripled our ad revenue over last month, the site has seen such massive amounts of traffic that the server took the site down for almost two hours last night. The post was mentioned on 620 WTMJ, ESPN radio in Milwaukee by Tom Haudricourt and Trenni Kusnierek, something called Girls of Philly (NSFW), numerous forums, twitter, facebook and even got it's own post at Deadspin. (Deadspin!) It was, by far, the most successful post we've ever done and since that post was so successful we obviously need to find another player to facebook stalk.

When we started doing the blog we didn't expect it to be much. We thought it'd be small, like a Brewers centric Deadspin, getting just a couple hundred hits a week and that sounded good to me. Just a nice little outlet for my Brewers thoughts. Then things got a little bit bigger than we expected and people were telling me that this was one of their favorite blogs so we thought "let's do the Deadspin thing, but mix it with a bit of Milwaukee's Bill Simmons" and we went with that. (It was perfect because we didn't need to update as much. *rimshot* -Ed.) As things went on we threw in little bits of all our favorite blogs; The Dugout, Kissing Suzy Kolber, Warming Glow and I think it's been pretty successful. People still say this is their favorite blog. We threw a party at Miller Park for over 50 people and almost broke even on it. We're almost at 1000 facebook fans. I think it's safe to say that this site's success has exceeded our expectations more than we ever imagined and we couldn't be happier about it.

And then this Brett Lawrie post happened and it threw all of that out of the window. Forget about the Pants Parties, the funny guides to St. Patrick's Day or hangovers (or Thanksgiving), the Bob Uecker tribute, the emotional Father's Day post, the Dugout-esque tribute to John Hughes, the sexual innuendos or even the time I blamed Ryan Braun for ruining my sex life; because that post with the facebook pics more than any of the other posts that I worked on was our biggest hit of all time. Why? Because people love pictures of athletes doing stupid things. I am not condemning this, heck I love it too. I read Terez Owens everyday, I loved watching Dong-gate unfold and even sent my dad a link to it when the story first broke which is kind of weird when I think about it. This stuff cracks me up, but it's only a momentary thing. It's a split second of my day. I much prefer to read Barry Petchesky give Cleveland the business than anything he's ever written about Jenn Sterger, I wish everything I read had ten or more Huey Lewis jokes like this Dugout post and my favorite Will Leitch posts were always about Rick Ankiel. That's my thing, stuff I can quote to my friends (and pass off as my own) or stuff that is just plain fun to read because the person writing it cares about it. Anyone can post a few embarassing pictures of an athlete. Anyone.

I guess what my point is that yesterday's Brett Lawrie post brought us more hits than we've ever had in the past and we don't blame the people that came here to see that for doing it. We do it too, but we hope that isn't the sort of thing that you expect from us because it's not who we are or what we want to be. We want to be better than that even if it means I have to keep living in my parent's basement. If you're reading this we hope it's because you like what we do. We want to make you laugh and care and think, but mostly we just want you to like us. We're shallow like that.

Now, let's find us a Brewer we can embarrass. Continue reading →


27
Oct 10

BOBBY VALENTINE TO MANAGE THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS!??!?!?!?!

What's the time? Rumor time. What's the time? Rumor time.

Despite not being known as a candidate by Tom Haudricourt until yesterday (and even then it's only because Ken Rosenthal told him) it is now rumored that Bobby Valentine will be the next manager of the Milwaukee Brewers.

Bobby Valentine, currently an ESPN analyst, has been managing since the 1980s, but is most famous for managing the Mets and his stint in Japan (they even made a movie about it). Bobby Valentine has never won his division in Major League Baseball, but he has managed to take two Wild Cards, lose a World Series and win a championship in Japan. So he's not completely incompetent. Still, his resume is far from impressive (his Mets teams predictably had large payrolls) but this has never stopped him from being the most popular managerial candidate for any managerial opening that comes up in any given season. Name a team and Bobby Valentine has been connected to it's managerial position.

At this point it's only a rumor. This time offered up by Bill Scott of the Wisconsin Radio Network (what is with these radio guys and unsubstantiated rumors?) who says that Bobby Valentine would be looking for a three year $10 million dollar contract. When reached for comment Jeff Suppan said "And I thought I was a ripoff." Seriously. THAT. IS. INSANE.

I'm on record as saying that I don't think managers make a big difference as far as game to game goes. It's important for them to manage the personalities in the clubhouse, but as far as game to game goes I don't think they do much of anything. Spending $10 million dollars on someone, money that could be better spent in the draft (where the Brewers pulled a Montgomery Burns last year) or on the team (where they need to find suitable replacements in always important underwhelming starter and past his prime closer positions), is ludicrous and I hope that they don't do it. I hope this rumor turns out to be just as false as the Bob Brenly one. Then we can write off Milwaukee radio as being just as stupid as Milwaukee newspaper. That'd be fun.

As for Valentine himself, he's probably a good manager. He'd probably do a good job. Just like anyone else he has his good qualities and his bad. Let's look at some.

  • He claims to have invented the wrap sandwich, choosing to ignore thousands of years of Mexican eating habits.
  • He once came back to the dugout wearing a fake mustache after being ejected. Fake mustaches, much like exposed cleavage, is always okay in my book.
  • He actually thought this out loud on TV despite it making zero sense:
    After a very well executed sacrifice bunt by Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster, Valentine spews out a pseudo-statistic, commenting that a pitcher who bunts well can improve his record by four games -- "changing a 8-8 record into 12-6".
    Uhh, yeah.
  • Along with Tom Selleck, Brad Pitt and David Letterman; Valentine is a Sigma Chi.
  • And then there is that whole Whartongate thing.

I don't think Bobby Valentine is the right guy for this team. He wants too much money, he loves media attention too much and he's shown a history to not get along with either his players or his management. Also, he wants ten million dollars.

NEXT!


30
Jun 10

Yovani Gallardo is bonafide

Yesterday Yovani Gallardo pitched in what was probably his 2nd or 3rd worst start of the season for the Milwaukee Brewers. Which is funny because I never for one second thought that the game was in doubt. When Yovani hits homeruns, the Brewers win. It's just that easy, but it's more than that too. When Yovani gets the ball, we expect to win. Something is happening here. Something amazing and every time Yovani Gallardo takes the mound for the Brewers is becoming must see TV. He is the Seinfeld of the Brewers TV lineup. (Randy Wolf? The Marriage Ref.)

How good has Yovani been? Well, including yesterday's start he's been the fourth most valuable player in the National League according to WAR (Wins Above Replacement). Not pitcher, player. Think about that for a second. All season long we have heard and talked about Hart's power surge or Casey McGehee's continued success at the plate, but we haven't heard much about Yovani Gallardo. He's not only been the team's ace, but he's been the team's MVP and put himself in the conversation for best pitcher in the National League. Seriously. Thus far this season Yovani has been better than Johan Santana, Roy Halladay (not by much, but still), Tim Hudson, Roy Oswalt, Tim Lincecum, Adam Wainwright and Chris Carpenter. This is really happening.

And to think just under two months ago Anthony Witrado said this about him: Continue reading →


12
Apr 10

ESPN Sunday Night Baseball

Last night the Brewers made their first appearance of the season on ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball and the announcing was... something. If you were at the game and you didn't have to listen to it consider yourself lucky because this was one of the worst Joe Morgan performances I've seen in a long time. Which is weird because someone opened a blog called "Fire Joe Morgan" about five years ago, you'd think we'd be used to it by now.

The thing about Joe Morgan is this isn't a pro/anti-sabermetrics thing. I don't really care if Joe Morgan knows about OPS or FIP or any of that stuff. Joe Morgan just doesn't analyze a baseball game correctly and often times comes off like a complete idiot who has never even watched the game. Again, weird considering he is in the Hall of Fame for playing baseball and has been announcing games since 1985.

Anyways, between Joe's ridiculous comments, the constant fellating of Albert Pujols and pro-Cardinals stance they took for the much of the game it was an interesting broadcast to say the least. Let's see if we can do it a little bit of justice.

Continue reading →


15
Jan 10

Casual Brewer: Ryan Braun

I like pictures of the Brewers outside of their uniforms. Casual Brewers if you will. Feel free to create a caption.

ryanbrauncasual

Clearly, there is a God. This picture exists.

And since we're here I wanted to tell you this too.

Let's face it folks, Ryan Braun has become a clubhouse problem child.  We all know what he did last year, calling out players all while hot dogging it out on the field and embarassing the franchise in general.

After watching Ryan CHARGE the Dodgers clubhouse last year after a game, I knew it was time to trade this guy.

I'd be happy with getting a 2010 1st round draft pick, and a few mid-level minor league prospect for Braun.

What are the chances of finding a team that is willing to take this malcontent of our hands?

I've had it up to here with his poor attitude and sloppy play.

Oh ESPN Brewers message board, you complete me.

That's all for this week. We really enjoyed telling you about our gay Brewers fantasies. The ensuing comments, not so much. We'll be back Monday with some actual content. Most likely.

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