24
Feb 12

Ryan Braun wins appeal, long live Ryan Braun

Ryan Braun will not be missing 50 games due to a suspension after winning his appeal against the MLB. This is the best news Brewers fans have received in months. The good guys won. This is awesome, awesome news. This is a reason to celebrate as Evan Rytlewski was kind enough to point out:

Personally, this is the happiest non-game day excited I have been for the Brewers since the Zack Greinke trade. I smiled, I called or texted all of my friends and I did a little dance around the apartment. It was a good day for me. There isn't going to be a need for any "oh wait til we get Ryan Braun back" conversations or blog posts that I wasn't looking forward to having/doing. Now that Ryan Braun has been exonerated on all charges we can finally put this whole ordeal behind us and move on with what really matters: drinking baseball. Right? Continue reading →


12
May 10

Hey everybody, we’re all getting laid Tuesday May 25th!

Do you like the Brewers?

Do you like getting laid?

Are you single (or will you pretend to be)?

Do you have $40?

Well, have I got the deal for you! Check out what I just found this on the Brewers official website:

For only $40, get a Dew Deck ticket, which includes a pre-game buffet and two drinks per person, plus the opportunity to mix and mingle with Milwaukee-area singles!

    DEW DECK BUFFET MENU FEATURES:
  • Grilled Bratwurst with Sauerkraut
  • Hot Dogs
  • Chicken Breast Sandwiches
  • Hamburgers
  • Lettuce, Tomato, and Pickle Platters
  • Pasta Salad
  • Assorted Cookies
  • Soft drinks
  • Two beers per adult

Would it be wrong to buy all the available tickets and put them on stubhub for 5x face value? The Brewers are basically guaranteeing that you get laid here! $40 makes me feel like I'm practically stealing from them. You can't even get a hooker in Costa Rica for that price.

Look we all know that the key to a woman's heart isn't actually a key, but more like a math equation. That equation? Continue reading →


08
Mar 10

To Go or Not To Go: An Opening Day Conundrum

I've been to Opening Day for the past three years now and this would be my fourth year in a row. Basically, since I moved back to Wisconsin I have gone to Opening Day every year. I've had good times and I've had bad. I've had girls hold my hand because they were drunk (or as I like to call it, second base), I've had a fight broken up because the other person liked Kobe Bryant just a little too much, I've gone crazy for my favorite player and I've dealt with that traffic that you see in the picture. It's always been fun, but so has every Brewers game that I've ever been to. (Well, except for that one.) I guess the question I am asking is, does a good Opening Day matter? Should I even bother? I mean, as a person who is kind of crazy about baseball, a person who spends a lot of his free time writing about it for free on a website, you'd think that I'd be a shoo-in for Opening Day, but lately I've been questioning it. Continue reading →


30
Apr 09

LOLBREWERS: Yovani’s Big Day

When you go to a baseball game at noon and then proceed to stay out til bar time, that's a long day. My thoughts of the game are this: Yovani is awesome and what the hell were the Pirates thinking having Snell throw 130 pitches (and why, oh why, did they try to steal with two outs and Braun at the plate while Snell is throwing his 129th, 130th and 131st pitches to Braun? Tired pitcher/best hitter. This isn't brain surgery.) I had fun making fun of the Pirates bullpen quite a bit and at one point told them "don't even wait for the call, just start throwing." Seriously, it's not like he was throwing a perfect game.

Anyways, Yo's awesome and that's all that matters.

LOLBREWERS Yovani Gallardo

LOLBREWERS Ryan Braun

LOLBREWERS Yovani Gallardo Home run

LOLBREWERS Ian Snell

LOLBREWERS Yovani Gallardo

Did anyone enjoy the live twittering of the game? It was a bit difficult and my friends were a little annoyed with me, but I thought it went off well. I get a lot of @replies, so that's cool. Let me know what you think and I might make it a regular thing when I go to games.

Also, today is the last today to Become a Fan of us on facebook and win two tickets to the 5/13 game against the Marlins. They are looking like they will be Field Outfield Reserve which have a face value of $38/ea. So we got that going for us. So, do it already. 125 people can't be wrong.

LOLBREWERS


09
Apr 09

Your final Guide

brewers beer bongSo, here we are. Opening Day. 2009. I think it was the 10th of April. It's pretty hard to mess this day up. Sure, there's a game tonight but that doesn't really matter because tomorrow is Opening Day. Our first chance to smell the smells and drink the beers in the world's greatest outdoor party, Miller Park Opening Day. Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me. I don't want to get laid, I don't want to get rich, I don't want to see Bruce Springsteen, I just want to go to Miller Park and have a good time. That's me, that's my journey and tomorrow I am going to get my wish.

We are going all out this year. Tailgate grill, rolling 10 deep, plenty of beer and for the first time in my life I got my tickets for face value (20 game package, what what). I am stocking everyone with cameras and we are going to do our best to make a short film for the site (we'll see how that works out.) I'll be at the game tomorrow and Saturday, so don't expect many updates. Until then here is a few last minute tips:

  • When listening to music, listen to whatever the hell you like, but do your very best not to include any songs that have lyrics along the lines of "tell me how my dick tastes". I don't want to hear all that.
  • No Zubaz.
  • If you see me and I have run out of beer, give me some beer. Give me some beer even if I do have some actually. It's the least you can do. I'll be in section 127 row 7 seats 1 and 2.
  • If you are going to taunt someone, make sure you know who they are. For example tomorrow's starter is Rich Harden. Rich Harden is a former Oakland A and is known throughout his career to be injury prone. Suggested taunts: "Mark Ellis said he misses showering with you" and "Try not to hurt yourself" (BURN!)
  • Pregame if you run out of beer, don't try to go into one of those tents. Those guys are some real beer nazis.
  • No Zubaz.
  • To all you Catholics, I was just talking to God last night and he said if you eat a brat you will still go to Heaven. Unless you're an asshole then you are still going to hell. Or a Cubs fan.
  • Speaking of Cubs fans, play nice but don't be afraid to tell them to shut the hell up and sit down. The only Geo I want people yelling about is the 92 Geo Metro that is on fire in the parking lot.
  • No gloves.

Hey, did I mention no Zubaz? Seriously, NO ZUBAZ.

Have fun and we'll be back Monday with tales of debauchery and drunken baseball related fun. Don't be afraid to send your own stories either.

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