01
Nov 12

Brewers Free Agent Fornication Set To Begin

Despite what Tyler Maas said the other day, how awesome is it that the season is over? I AM SO HAPPY! No more dreaming of impossible scenarios that won't happen, no more Brewers bullpen doing Brewers bullpen thing, no more Cardinals, no more Barry Zito, no more MLB Betting, no more Prince Fielder used to be a Brewer and no more stupid teams in the stupid World Series. I'm glad it's all over and I am ready to move on to my favorite time of the year: free agency!

The great thing about free agency is that everyone is interesting. Alex Gonzalez is a slightly above average shortstop in the declining phase of his career, but when they signed him last year it felt like they were getting Cal Ripken Jr. (The young bald shortstop version, not the older bald third base version.) Free agency has a way of filling us with hope and making us believe that whatever dude we just signed is going to be the key to our championship season.*

*= Unless that signing is Eric Gagne, Jeff Suppan, Jason Kendall, Doug Davis or any of the other sucky assholes this team has brought in over the past few years.

With the free agent FrEnZy set to begin I thought we should take a look at who the Brewers may or may not get. This isn't meant to be a predictions post because my name is not Doug Melvin, but is instead a handy guide for any Brewers front office staff who might be reading this to gauge our feelings on any potential signings. Last season was the worst (and then briefly the best, but mostly the absolute worst) and I don't want to go through that again. You have to get this one right. Don't mess this one up, guys. No pressure.

Continue reading →


17
Oct 12

Brewers to Josh Hamilton? MAYBE STUFF

The rumor mill is running wild that the Brewers are about to sign superstar free agent Josh Hamilton*.

*= If they don't sign a starting pitcher and he doesn't re-sign with the Rangers and nobody offers a better offer and he won't sign for a lot of years and the Brewers don't have anything better they can do.

The move would be the Brewers biggest free agent splash since they signed Jeff Suppan in 2007. Suppan, who led the Brewers to the 2008 through 2010 World Series, made $85 million dollars in Milwaukee and has since retired. He currently owns the San Diego Chargers.

The move makes sense for both sides. The Brewers offense needs some serious help after only scoring 776 runs in 2012. A huge letdown from Doug Melvin's 2012 goal of one million. Meanwhile, Josh Hamilton is fresh off choking away his team's playoff chances and desperately needs a change of scenery to avoid being killed by the three or four Rangers fans who weren't just killing time until the Cowboys season started. Sources say that despite both being named Ron, that Ron Roenicke is a way better role model for Hamilton than Ron Washington.

There is some concern that Josh Hamilton's 0 for 4 performance in the AL Wild Card game is a sign that Josh Hamilton is a terrible baseball player, but most scouts think there is only a 50/50 chance of this being true and expect him to get "at least" twice as may hits as that on average. Still, signing John Hamilton will be considered a risk.

Another concern is his age as next season he will turn 35 which will rank him second behind Jamie Moyer as the oldest baseball player of all time. One scout said that this is the "least of his worries" because of alcohol. Continue reading →


24
Jan 12

Prince Fielder signs with the Detroit Tigers

Well here it is. The day we always knew would arrive has finally come and Prince Fielder is officially no longer a member of the Milwaukee Brewers. Some held out hope that the Brewers still had a chance and that the lack of big offers coming in early meant that he'd accept the Brewers original 5 year offer. It was a nice dream, but a dream that ultimately would never come to fruition. The Brewers made their pitch, Scott Boras didn't think it was good enough and that was that. We moved on, signed other guys and played the waiting game on Prince. We waited and waited and waited some more. We waited so long that we started saying things like "Maybe Prince will decide to be a free agent next year instead and come back on a 1-year deal!" We convinced ourselves that there wasn't an offer over 6 years out there and if that was all there was then we could match it, we could get Prince back! With Prince Fielder coming back the Brewers would be better than last year, heck, they'd be better than ever!

And then Prince Fielder signed a 9 year two-hundred-and-fourteen million dollar deal with Detroit.

I won't get too into the place where Prince Fielder decided to sign too much because who cares, but I will say this: it was about the money. It wasn't about playing first base because the Tigers already have a first baseman (who could move to thrid and be bad) and a catcher (who should probably move to first in the next couple years.) He'll be a DH in a year tops. It wasn't about winning (even though they are a lock for the AL Central for at least the next two years) because they are still in the AL and have to go through Boston and/or New York to get to the World Series. It wasn't about family because the chances of his family getting shot/hooked on drugs/turned out just went up about 5000%.

The reason Prince Fielder is a Detroit Tiger is because of the money and that's pretty much the only reason he is a Detroit Tiger. This isn't a bad thing. If someone is going to offer that to him he deserves it and he should take it. The Brewers certainly weren't going to (and thank god for that.) Good for you Prince. Get that money dog. I wish someone would pay me $214 dollars to write this site for the next nine years. I can't imagine what I'd do if you added six zeroes after that. That being said, Detroit? Really?

(While we're here how the hell does Detroit have the money to offer contracts like this? The population has dropped 25% in the last decade, the auto industry is a thing of the past and the city itself is going bankrupt. If I owned that team I'd be less concerned with Prince Fielder and more concerned with getting the hell out of Detroit.)

But enough about that, let's talk about Prince Fielder in Milwaukee. Continue reading →


16
Jun 10

The last days of Prince Fielder and Corey Hart?

I can't seem to turn on the internet machine without seeing pictures of cute kittens something about Corey Hart and Prince Fielder being traded from the Milwaukee Brewers. Every baseball writer, analyst, talking head and fan thinks that it's important for the Brewers to trade Prince Fielder and Corey Hart. Right now. Corey, because he's hot and will never be hotter (which apparently people who are paid to evaluate talent won't realize, haha suckers!), and Prince because he's good and he's probably not going to re-sign with the team when he becomes a free agent in 2012. This has a certain amount of logic to it and if the Brewers get the right deal then they should probably do it, but I would beĀ  really surprised if one or both was traded during the season.

The reason I believe this lies in the fangraphs post from today by Jack Moore titled "What the Milwaukee Brewers Should Do" (which is weird because it never actually says what they should do), in the post Jack writes:

the contracts of Jeff Suppan, Trevor Hoffman, Bill Hall, David Weathers, Jody Gerut, Craig Counsell, Claudio Vargas, Jim Edmonds, Dave Bush, David Riske, and Gregg Zaun coming off the books, the Brewers will clear around $45 million in salary for next season. If Fielder and Hart are traded, that would be another $15 million cleared. The Brewers will see some raises for arbitration eligible players, but they should have a lot of money to play with in 2011.

Jesus, the Brewers are paying more people not to be with them than Larry King.

With all that money coming off the books as is, there is no need to get Prince and Corey off the books. If the goal is to build this team for a run in 2011, a run that they are totally capable of making, then there is no rush to trade two of the team's best three hitters unless they bring back someone who can significantly help them now. I'm talking a top of the line starter with arbitration years left. I'm talking Yovani Gallardo: the squeakquel.

Trading away Prince and Corey because of the team's poor play this season in return for prospects that won't help this team win next year is a stupid, stupid decision and guess what? Doug Melvin knows that. He'll listen, but he needs to be blown away and I'm not sure there's anyone out there willing to blow him away. At least not during the season. It's why he's a good GM.

/dodges tomatoes


24
Jun 09

Cliff Lee says please for the love of god do not trade for me

It seems that these trade candidates can't stop talking about the Brewers. Jarrod Washburn, Doug Davis and Erik Bedard all made their case. Now, Cliff Lee wants a chance to talk.

Cliff Lee

Last season I had the best season of my entire career. I led the league in wins, ERA, ERA+ and won the Cy Young award. My ERA was 2.54. I was pretty lights out, but honestly I was pitching out of my mind.

Last year the Brewers were pretty good and they made a trade for my teammates CC Sabathia. After becoming a Brewer he pitched even better than I did last season posting a 1.65 ERA. He was basically the greatest pitcher in the history of all time (as a Brewer) last season.

With those things in mind I just want to ask you one favor: Please, for the love of GOD, don't trade for me. Seriously, don't. Please, please, please, please don't.

If I was a Brewer everyone would immediately expect me to perform like CC did last year. I can't do it. I can't throw 7 complete games and 3 shutouts in only 17 starts. Are you nuts? That's insane! Who could do that? Did you know that two seasons ago I got sent down to the minors? I was 28 years old! What kind of 28 year old gets sent down to the minors? A bad one, that's who. Trust me, I'm damaged goods. I don't even have a cool sounding name. Cliff Lee, that name sounds like an alcoholic furniture salesman. God, my name is so lame. You won't even be able to come up with clever signs, "Cliff Lee ya later"? STUPID! I am so lame.

Look, I want to show you something.

cliff lee's family

That's my family right there. (Yes, that's my wife. Yes, I know she looks 14. Yes, I named my son Jaxon. No, I don't have a good excuse at to why.) Look at those kids. Cute, right? You want them to have a good life don't you? I'm going to be a free agent soon. My next contract is likely going to be my last contract. My last shot to make the kind of money that they never have to worry about anything again. If I go to the Brewers, it could all fall apart. I could crack under the pressure and end up a non-roster invitee to the Pirates. Do you think those kids want to live in Pittsburgh? Nobody does. Give these kids a chance at a better life and don't trade for me. You won't regret it. I suck. It's like my manager Eric Wedge always says "I coached CC Sabathia, I knew CC Sabathia. CC Sabathia was a friend of mine and you sir are no CC Sabathia." You don't want me, you want him and I can't be him. So let's just forget this whole thing, okay?

It's not like you guys could afford me anyways.