13
Aug 10

The almost last thing you will hear about the Pants Party

Here's where we stand, right now:

I announced we were having a party.

I tried to convince you to go with a list of the five people you'll meet at the party. It was kind of funny.

Then I tried to convince you with our excellent menu. This sort of worked.

I convinced my friend Larry of Wezen Ball to write a guest post for the party. He called it "What's So Great About the First Inning?" and it was really good.

Surprisingly, KLSnow of Brew Crew Ball took it upon himself to invite you to the party in the Frosty Mug. That was cool.

Then, for some reason in a greater surprise, Carson Cistulli of Fangraphs did the same. That was weird, but cool.

Finally, I had Tyler Maas do another guest post today about why you should attend. It was classic Tyler, good too.

Which brings us to now. I've only got a few tickets left and I can't think of anything else to say to convince you to go. We have beer. We have food. We have really cool people to talk to. We have math nerds to pick on. It's going to be a nice day (you hear that God? It's going to be a nice day motherf@*#$r!) and Sundays at Miller Park are the best. It's got a decent price and it's a bobblehead game. That's all there really is to it. I don't know what else to say about it that hasn't already been said.

I'm going to leave this link up for tonight and the rest of the weekend and I sincerely hope you buy a ticket. Not because I want to make money off of this (I'm putting every dime we make right back into the party. More money=more food, beer and prizes), but because I want you to have a good time. This blog has been one of the best things in my life for over a year now (right behind alcohol and hentai porn) and I want to give back to the people who like it. That's it. I want to party with you and if you do we are going to have a good time, even if it kills me (and by me, I mean my liver).

If we sell all our tickets, great. If we sell more than we have, we'll get more and that will also be great. If we don't sell any more, that's fine too. The people who come will have a tailgate to remember. They will love it. If you like this site, you should really consider coming to this event because it's going to rock. If you miss it, you will regret it later. Trust me. I've been wrong about a lot of things on this site (for instance I traded Corey Hart a month ago), but on this one I know that I'm right. We're going to have a lot of fun. Join us.

Have a good weekend.

8.29.10
Beer. Food. Ticket.
$25



13
Aug 10

Why I’m Attending the Pants Party

Yesterday Larry Granville of Wezen Ball chimed in on his attendance to Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party and today Tyler Maas does the same. These two well respected writers (well, at least Larry is respected) will be attending as well as popular bloggers from Fangraphs, BrewCrewBall and Disciples of Uecker. It's kind of a big deal, but you don't have to be a Brewers blogger to go. No, all you need to do is buy a ticket. There are less than twenty left and I would really like to sell the rest to readers like you instead of barflies from my local tavern. At least you guys won't come up to me every time you see me and be like "Hey, remember that time we went to the Brewers game together? That was awesome" and then have nothing else to say because we're not actually friends and you know nothing about me. I hate people like that. You guys though? You're my people. Now buy a ticket.

I’m sure the near dozen of you Miller Park Drunk readers out there were filled with a lot of different questions when my presence at the inaugural MPD Pants Party was announced last month. Of them: “What’s a Tyler Maas … should I know him?”, “Why hasn’t he updated Doctors of Za in forever?” and “Why is Tyler Maas going to the Pants Party?”

While I cannot offer you clear answers for the first two questions, I sure as shit can chime in on the third. Allow me to answer that question—Why is Tyler Maas going to the Pants Party?—with another question. Why wouldn’t I go to the Pants Party? (do you see how I turned that around on you?)

If that Ginsu-sharp witticism isn’t enough to explain why some random dude who, of late, is referenced here more than he actually blogs about baseball, then here are a few more reasons why I will be—and you should be—picking up the slacks (double entendre) in Pants Party attendance. These reasons appear in no particular order, excluding importance to me. Continue reading →


30
Jul 10

Only 30 days to go until Miller Park Drunk’s Pants Party

Can you believe it? Only thirty days until what will arguably be the greatest fringe baseball blog Brewers tailgate party of the year. Are you excited? Have you booked your ticket yet? Well, you should. Why? Here's five more reasons:

Food, glorious food: More on this next week, but you will not believe the spread that we have planned for this event.
Beer, glorious beer: Beer tastes really good when you drink it and it's nice out. (Dear God, please let it be nice out.)
Drunk people, glorious drunk people: Fact: Drunk people are more likely to put out for complete strangers that they meet at fringe baseball blog Brewers tailgate parties than sober people are. It's true. You can look it up in the dictionary.
Playoffs: If the Brewers win every game between now and 8/28 they will clinch the division on 8/29. (Note: math may be fuzzy.)
Hot lesbian action: If two girls don't make out at this function we have failed as a society.

Did I mention beer and food?

Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party is 8/29 and will take place at Miller Park. A pre-game (and likely post-game if there is beer left, which there should be) tailgate including beer, tons of food and more is included. It's twenty-five bucks for like a $40 value. Seriously, it's going to be awesome. Don't miss it.


02
Jul 10

Corey Hart wonders why Prince Fielder hates him

ST. LOUIS, MO- Prince Fielder hit his 18th homerun of the season last night in a Milwaukee Brewers win over the St. Louis Cardinals and at least one Milwaukee Brewer is wondering what he ever did to deserve that.

"I thought we'd kind of established that hitting homeruns was my thing this year and then out of nowhere Prince just comes up and ties me for the team lead. He's been the guy hitting them out the past few seasons, but I thought he was going to let me have a turn. It's like I thought we were friends, you know?"

Hart wanted to make it clear that he was happy that the team was winning and admitted that he hasn't been hitting them out as well as he was earlier in the season, but still thinks that Prince could have went about it in a different way.

"You don't see me opening Corey Hart's Restaurant in the 3rd ward, do you? You don't see me having a son with CP, do you? You know why? Because I'm a good teammate, I don't want to step on anybody's toes. Maybe Prince should think about that and start listening when Craig Counsell talks." Hart said, "Craig would never do that to a teammate. Hell, he'd never even hit one homerun. That's how good of a teammate he is. You're lucky to get a hit of that guy."

Hart, who is in the midst of a 16 game hitting streak, says that he plans to hit one out of the park soon, but can't specify a date or location. Hart said "It's going to happen when it happens. I just hope that Prince doesn't hit any out between now and the time I finally hit another one. That would suck."

Hart's teammates are aware of his frustrations about Prince Fielder's recent power surge and some have offered to help.

"I told him that if I could come into the game for the other team when he was playing that I would totally give up a homerun to him, Soup did too before he was released," disgraced closer Trevor Hoffman said. "I like him a hell of a lot better than the Pirates, Cardinals and Reds players I've given up homers to this season. Nick Stavinoha? That guy just sounds like a dick."

Hart said that he plans to take some extra batting practice with hitting coach Dale Sveum and maybe watch The Blind Side for the 48th time this weekend in St. Louis. The story of "big" Mike Oher and his white family is his favorite movie.

"You think they're teaching him, but really he's teaching them. Teaching them how to love."

When asked about the possibility of making the 2010 All-Star team, Corey Hart said that he'd rather just focus on the homerun race between him and his teammate.

"If I make the All-Star team I'll probably just completely fade in the second half of the season like I did last time. I don't want to think about that. I just want to hit more homeruns than this fat, stupid asshole batting behind me."


29
Jun 10

Why do people do the things that they do?

I had this friend once, we've all had this friend once or twice, that broke up with his girlfriend and it was an ugly breakup. People were put in the middle of things that they wanted no part of, friendships were lost and the whole thing was wholly un-enjoyable for everyone. After things started to blow over he started to call her at bar time, you know what for. This was a terrible decision. Sure, the reason he called her would work out in his favor, but it was the morning and the days after that would be the problem. The same old drama would bring itself back up and they'd have to have a talk. Nobody likes to have talks. I once saw a man jump out of a five story building to avoid having a talk. Still, a week later the same thing would happen all over again. Why?

Prince Fielder likes to swing at high fastballs. He does this a lot. He does this a lot with two strikes on him when you and me and everyone we know know it's coming. Hey Prince, don't swing at this pitch because it's going to be a high fastball and you can't catch up to it! And then he strikes out. This happens all the time. There is no way that the other team doesn't know that he likes to swing at high fastballs because everyone knows he likes to swing at high fastballs and they continue to be thrown at him in these types of situations. Most of the time, he strikes out. Why?

I am a regular attendant of what people like to call "after bars". The period between whenever I arrived at the bar (anywhere from 1PM to 12AM) until the time they close is just not enough for me sometimes and I need to go somewhere that I can drink more. I don't really care where it is; my place, a backyard, a hotel room, a friend of mine who still lives with his parents' basement or anywhere else. Hell, I don't care WHAT it is. I once had an after bar with a bottle of Apple Pucker. I just like to continue drinking with people long after the bar is closed. No matter what I have to do in the morning, I do this. I know it's not smart or necessary, I just do it. Why?

Manny Parra has a problem with pitch counts. It takes him a lot of pitches to get through innings. In his seven starts this season he has never made it past the sixth inning and in every game that he has made it through at least 5 he has thrown over 90 pitches. This isn't efficient. For Manny Parra to give himself and the team the best chance at winning he needs to go deeper into games, but he doesn't. Why? Continue reading →