Enjoy Brewers Baseball The Miller Park Drunk Way

milwaukee brewers May 16th, 2012

I'm always checking out twitter during the games. This isn't because all my friends are either old or lame married or gay, and it's certainly not because I live in a basement and if I make too much noise I'll wake my mom up and she'll be mad. No, I do this because I like to keep my finger on the pulse of what Brewers fans are thinking. I've always sort of prided this blog on that and I enjoy being able to write about whatever people are happy or mad or sad about. It's kind of our thing.

Lately when I take to twitter it hasn't been a lot of fun. All I seem to be doing is defending the Brewers and trying to talk people off of the ledge. This is pretty crazy to me because it's May 15th and we're still a good 126 games away from the end of the season. A LOT CAN HAPPEN. Hell, I just wrote about the season not being over a week ago. Are we giving up again already? Since I wrote that post the Brewers have gone 4-3. Not exactly the streak you've been looking for, but hey they are better off than they were (and if they kept playing like that they'd win 88 games. #justsaying) Oh, and their starters have been really awesome since that post too. Zack Greinke has put in two genius performances, Marcum threw another gem and... you know what? That's not what this is about. I'm not here to tell you not to worry or to relax because I realize the problem runs much deeper than that.

You see I've thought for a long time that if I could just make some strong points about why the Brewers are actually better than their most recent results then people would see a clearer picture and agree with me and thus feel better about the baseball team. Sometimes we all need a little wake up call and that is a post I enjoy writing because people have been telling me to grow wake up my entire life. It's worked in the past, but what I've come to realize is that some people don't need a wake up call. Some people are just doing it wrong. Some people are watching the Brewers for the wrong reasons. Some people think like this:


And that's just a bad idea. What fun would that be anyway? 35-0, what would be the point of even watching? Oh, the Brewers won again big frickin' deal. I don't even want these George Webb burgers. That isn't what life is about and it certainly isn't what baseball is about. If you are watching the Brewers like this then I think you need some help and I want to be the one to do it. I am going to help you learn to enjoy baseball the Miller Park Drunk way and, no, I don't mean just getting drunk the whole time. (Although that does work too.) I am talking about watching baseball and liking what you see it. Do you think you can handle that? Let's do it. Read the rest of this entry »

We Love Ryan Braun

milwaukee brewers May 1st, 2012

Heading into last night's game Ryan Braun was hitting .263/.322/.500 with four homeruns and three steals. Not exactly MVP numbers, but if your entire team is hitting like that you are probably leading the league in offense. He's been good, but he hasn't been great which is to say he hasn't been Ryan Braun. Much like the Brewers record he has been merely okay. Last night he changed that. Last night Ryan Braun did for the Brewers what the Aliens did for Woody and the gang at the end of Toy Story 3, he picked them up and he carried them away from the incinerator.

It was one of "those games" that only a special player like Ryan Braun can have. He hits the first one and you're glad, but you're not surprised. Ryan Braun was the MVP last season, he hits homeruns. Then he hits the second one and you're like "jesus maybe he is on steroids" "I have never seen a ball hit that far in my entire life, that was amazing." The next time he steps up to bat you are excited. You WANT something to happen, but you don't expect it. You think he's done enough, but you want him to do it again. Wouldn't that be cool? You know he can and all you can think of is how awesome it would be if he did. AND THEN HE DOES and it's more awesome than you think. Ryan Braun is trending worldwide. You celebrate. You pump your fist. You shotgun a beer. You wave your hands in the air like you just don't care. Read the rest of this entry »

Are We There Yet?

milwaukee brewers March 29th, 2012

I love baseball, but I hate spring training.

To a lot of people baseball begins when the pitchers and catchers report to spring training. Some people even make the pilgrimage down to Arizona to watch the games. Other people like to post play-by-play of every spring training "game" on twitter like it's game six of the World Series. I am not one of these people. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging these people. Baseball season doesn't start for me until after Wrestlemania so who the hell am I to talk?)

The thing about spring training is that it's not really baseball. In baseball there are two teams that want to win that each make strategic moves in an attempt to make that goal a reality. In spring training there are a few guys who want to do good because this might be their only chance to impress, a few guys who waited to long to get into shape, a few guys who want to get laid by some MILFs in the stands and the rest of the team just wants it to be over with already. And you know those guys that you want to see? The stars? The good players? They are in the last two categories, not the first two. I love the Milwaukee Brewers, but watching them play spring training is the absolute worst. I'd rather watch a Batman themed gay porn with Alfred and Robin doing bondage.

(I am going to get so many weird Google search hits from that line.)

Read the rest of this entry »

The World Belongs to Ryan Braun

milwaukee brewers November 29th, 2011

Ryan Braun won the MVP award last week.

Woo-frackin'-hoo.

There is an argument to be made, a very good one in fact, that Matt Kemp should have won the MVP award. He had more homeruns, more steals, played a tougher position, had a better WAR and a bunch of other stuff too. Matt Kemp had a great season and if you said he should have won the MVP I wouldn't argue with you too much. These two players were very close statistically and either choice was a good one.

The justification that many are using for the choice of Braun over Kemp is that the Ryan Braun played on a playoff team and Matt Kemp didn't. This speaks to the question of what exactly the word "valuable" in Most Valuable Player is supposed to mean. Many writers who vote on these awards take the word valuable and equate it with wins and losses. Since the Brewers won a ton more games than the Dodgers that made Ryan Braun more "valuable" than Matt Kemp. This is a simple argument that is backed up by years of MVP voting going to players from winning team. It is not wrong to think this and since the word "valuable" has never been properly defined by Major League Baseball it is hard to fault the writers for voting this way. It's just the way it's always been and the way it will always be. Winners get more credit.

However, this is not why I believe Ryan Braun won the MVP. It helped, sure, but it is not the real reason that Braun was chosen over Matt Kemp. The reason I submit to you as the reason Ryan Braun won the MVP is simple: The World Belongs To Ryan Braun. Read the rest of this entry »

Apparently people don’t like this sort of behavior, your Cubs series preview

Fans April 23rd, 2010

Apparently people don't like it when people do stuff like this, which is kind of stupid really. If I saw a guy walking down the street with his friend filming him I'd boo him too. (That's probably why I got fired from my job as an extra on that Keanu Reeves movie.) This is so obviously pre-planned you'd think it was for a reality dating show. There is absolutely no reason to be filming that unless you want to get attention and make Cubs fans look stupid. (Hint: they don't need your help.)

I'm not saying they weren't dicks, but the fact is that this sort of behavior is to be expected at a baseball game especially one where you are an away fan. If you don't expect to hear "you suck" at least fifty times, you're an idiot. It's kind of the point, you want one team to win and one team to lose. If someone is around that wants your team to lose, you don't like them. That's just how it works, it's not a big deal. Someone is going to boo you, don't frickin' cry about it.

The site I found this video on had a discussion in the comments calling this "distasteful" saying "they can't take their kids to games" and my personal favorite "as a Cubs fan, I am quite embarrassed." Really? He got booed. BOOED. People used their mouths to make a "boo" sound and directed it at him. That's it.

Did he get a drink thrown at him? No. Read the rest of this entry »

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