09
Apr 10

Weekend Preview: The battle for the NL Central starts tonight!

POO-HOLES GET IT?!? LOLOMGROFL

Hey, it's Friday and it's the first week of the season what better way to kick off the weekend against our hated rivals from St. Louis. Much is made about the Brewers/Cubs, but honestly I think a lot of that is Packer fans trying to recreate their animosity for the Bears. The Cubs, as a team, have never done anything bad enough for true hate. The Cardinals on the other hand have given us a really good reason to hate them, they beat us in our one and only World Series. Sure, I was like 10 months old at that time but still. Screw those guys.

I won't be going to any games this weekend so I won't get a chance to try and have sex in the bathroom. At least in Miller Park, that is. (Hey yoooo!) We're slowly but surely getting back into the swing of things here and next week should be bursting with more of the crude, semi-sexist, semi-Brewers related content that you've grown to love. Until then follow us on twitter and facebook. We'll see you Monday.


09
Apr 10

How to have sex in the bathroom at a stadium

Well, it happened again. Someone had sex in the bathroom (with another person) of a Major League park that wasn't me. I mean, what the hell man? It's not like I haven't tried. Okay, maybe I haven't really tried at all but still. For the amount of games I go to you would think that the opportunity would have arisen by now. It's like catching a foul ball right?

Luckily, unlike catching a foul ball there is something I can do about it. No, I'm not talking about roofies. I would never share those. I'm talking about taking matters into my own hands. I'm talking about emailing every known bathroom sex having person and asking them how they did it. I'm talking about soliciting the advice of experts. So unlike my guides for sneaking in booze, getting over a hangover or killing a homeless man in the parking lot and disposing of his body before game time (whoops haven't written that one yet), this is a guide of something that I haven't actually done yet. This is a guide to guide me too. It's an interactive experience here at Miller Park Drunk.

Since much of our fanbase is made up of women we will be providing guides for both men and women. Up first, the ladies.

Continue reading →


20
Jan 10

Retro Weekends are going to be awesome

I love Retro Friday at Miller Park. Some out there will rail against it saying that we need to leave the past in the past and that the team needs to forge it's own identity and blah blah blah, to which I say screw off. Saying we should get rid of the ball and glove logo is like saying we should get rid of the American flag. You know who wants to get rid of the American flag? Terrorists.

Luckily for us and the safety of our nation, the Brewers agree with me. In fact they are taking retro Fridays into the future for their 40th anniversary and turning them into four retro weekends. Let me tell you, they sound AWESOME. Continue reading →


15
Jan 10

Casual Brewer: Ryan Braun

I like pictures of the Brewers outside of their uniforms. Casual Brewers if you will. Feel free to create a caption.

ryanbrauncasual

Clearly, there is a God. This picture exists.

And since we're here I wanted to tell you this too.

Let's face it folks, Ryan Braun has become a clubhouse problem child.  We all know what he did last year, calling out players all while hot dogging it out on the field and embarassing the franchise in general.

After watching Ryan CHARGE the Dodgers clubhouse last year after a game, I knew it was time to trade this guy.

I'd be happy with getting a 2010 1st round draft pick, and a few mid-level minor league prospect for Braun.

What are the chances of finding a team that is willing to take this malcontent of our hands?

I've had it up to here with his poor attitude and sloppy play.

Oh ESPN Brewers message board, you complete me.

That's all for this week. We really enjoyed telling you about our gay Brewers fantasies. The ensuing comments, not so much. We'll be back Monday with some actual content. Most likely.


14
Jan 10

MPD Movie Review: Sugar

sugarmovieSometimes I will read a synopsis of a movie or see a trailer for a movie and decide that I am going to love it before I even see it. I like good movies. I like baseball. So when I heard about the movie "Sugar" I was really, really excited about it. Here's the synopsis:

Miguel Santos, a.k.a Azucar, a Dominican pitcher from San Pedro de Macoris, struggles to make it to the big leagues and pull himself and his family out of poverty. Playing professionally at the Kansas City Knights baseball academy, Miguel finally gets his break at age 19 when he advances to the United States' minor league system. Miguel travels from his tight knit community in the Dominican Republic to a small town in Iowa, corn country, where he and a couple other Latin American teammates are the only Spanish-speaking people in the vicinity.

That sounds pretty cool, right? Add an estranged wife and child and you could call it "The Alcides Escobar Story". The movie got great reviews, scoring 93% on Rotten Tomatoes and was called the best sports movie of 2009 by Bill Simmons. I had to see this movie, right?

Well, I did and I HATED it. (spoilers ahead) Continue reading →

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