29
Jun 10

Why do people do the things that they do?

I had this friend once, we've all had this friend once or twice, that broke up with his girlfriend and it was an ugly breakup. People were put in the middle of things that they wanted no part of, friendships were lost and the whole thing was wholly un-enjoyable for everyone. After things started to blow over he started to call her at bar time, you know what for. This was a terrible decision. Sure, the reason he called her would work out in his favor, but it was the morning and the days after that would be the problem. The same old drama would bring itself back up and they'd have to have a talk. Nobody likes to have talks. I once saw a man jump out of a five story building to avoid having a talk. Still, a week later the same thing would happen all over again. Why?

Prince Fielder likes to swing at high fastballs. He does this a lot. He does this a lot with two strikes on him when you and me and everyone we know know it's coming. Hey Prince, don't swing at this pitch because it's going to be a high fastball and you can't catch up to it! And then he strikes out. This happens all the time. There is no way that the other team doesn't know that he likes to swing at high fastballs because everyone knows he likes to swing at high fastballs and they continue to be thrown at him in these types of situations. Most of the time, he strikes out. Why?

I am a regular attendant of what people like to call "after bars". The period between whenever I arrived at the bar (anywhere from 1PM to 12AM) until the time they close is just not enough for me sometimes and I need to go somewhere that I can drink more. I don't really care where it is; my place, a backyard, a hotel room, a friend of mine who still lives with his parents' basement or anywhere else. Hell, I don't care WHAT it is. I once had an after bar with a bottle of Apple Pucker. I just like to continue drinking with people long after the bar is closed. No matter what I have to do in the morning, I do this. I know it's not smart or necessary, I just do it. Why?

Manny Parra has a problem with pitch counts. It takes him a lot of pitches to get through innings. In his seven starts this season he has never made it past the sixth inning and in every game that he has made it through at least 5 he has thrown over 90 pitches. This isn't efficient. For Manny Parra to give himself and the team the best chance at winning he needs to go deeper into games, but he doesn't. Why? Continue reading →


30
Mar 10

Gallardo named Opening Day starter

In a move that was surprising to Randy Wolf's mom, Patricia Gallardo's ex-boyfriend Joel and like, five other people Yovani Gallardo was named the Brewers Opening Day starter for 2010. It's quite a contrast to last season when manager Ken Macha decided that winning on Opening Day wasn't really a priority to him and started Jeff Suppan. (Yes, the same Jeff Suppan who the Brewers are currently considering paying a whole lot of money to not play for them.)

Macha actually said that he "thinks he's ready for it." Really? Do you think the sky is blue? Do you think sex leads to babies too, Ken? Seriously, this is something that should have been announced in May of 2009. Gallardo is the Brewers best pitcher, by far, and whatever "pressure" is put upon him by being the Brewers number one starter is as made up as my girlfriend who lives in Niagra Falls. You can't be sure if it was Gallardo's 2009 season where he became only the fourth pitcher in Brewers history to have 200 strikeouts in a season (despite skipping his last few starts), his spring training showing, the quality of the other options or something else that changed his mind, but he did. Whatever it was we should all take solace in the fact that Macha made the right choice this year.


14
Jan 10

MPD Movie Review: Sugar

sugarmovieSometimes I will read a synopsis of a movie or see a trailer for a movie and decide that I am going to love it before I even see it. I like good movies. I like baseball. So when I heard about the movie "Sugar" I was really, really excited about it. Here's the synopsis:

Miguel Santos, a.k.a Azucar, a Dominican pitcher from San Pedro de Macoris, struggles to make it to the big leagues and pull himself and his family out of poverty. Playing professionally at the Kansas City Knights baseball academy, Miguel finally gets his break at age 19 when he advances to the United States' minor league system. Miguel travels from his tight knit community in the Dominican Republic to a small town in Iowa, corn country, where he and a couple other Latin American teammates are the only Spanish-speaking people in the vicinity.

That sounds pretty cool, right? Add an estranged wife and child and you could call it "The Alcides Escobar Story". The movie got great reviews, scoring 93% on Rotten Tomatoes and was called the best sports movie of 2009 by Bill Simmons. I had to see this movie, right?

Well, I did and I HATED it. (spoilers ahead) Continue reading →


30
Dec 09

Best of Miller Park Drunk 2009

LOLBREWERS: Rickie WeeksHey, it's time for one of those year end clip shows that you love so much. You know like that time on Full House when we saw how much we truly loved and appreciated Uncle Jesse after seeing those old clips. There was no need for him to move out of the house with his family, he could just live in the attic!

Miller Park Drunk has only been open a year, but we've published over 300 posts in that time period. Call this the best of 2009, call it The Beginner's Guide to Miller Park Drunk, call it whatever you'd like, here it is.

BEST OF THE BEST

Don't You Forget About the Brewers: John Hughes, director of such classics as The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink, died this year and the Brewers paid him a tribute.

LOLBREWERS: Can't decide which one was my favorite, either Yovanni's Big Day or First Place Edition.

The Happy Youngster is a douchebag who makes us all look bad: This post really put us on the map with links from Deadspin and other major blogs. It also inspired this idiot to call us "a blogger who gives drunks a bad name", sold a few t-shirts and was semi-popular on tumblr. Not my favorite, but definitely worth mentioning.

Brewers Flow Charts: I have no idea where this idea came from, but it's definitely one of my favorite of all time.

Witrado's Quest: One of the weirder endeavors we have ever done did a fine job of getting the Witrado hatred out of our system. Not that we like him now just that it doesn't bother us as much anymore.

THE RUNNING SERIES: I loved this if only because Brew Crew Ball to write:

"I'll link to the Ken Macha and Corey Hart chapters here...the other two are a little too obscene to even be linked from this site."

AND

"If you have a vague interest in Brewer baseball, but wish there was less analysis and more profanity on this site, then Miller Park Drunk's RUNNING series might be just the ticket for you." Continue reading →


23
Dec 09

Ten Christmas Gifts NOT to buy a Brewers fan

santaTomorrow is Christmas Eve and most of you are probably already checked out for the holiday, but just in case you are like me and completely irresponsible, waiting til Christmas Eve to buy anyone anything than I have a list for you. I can't tell you what anyone wants (probably something involving their cellphone), but I can tell you what they DON'T want. So here's 10 Christmas gifts you shouldn't get for that Brewers fan in your life, don't worry there is still time to return it! Continue reading →

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