14
Aug 09

Hey everybody let’s go home!

trevor hoffman brewersI was at the game on Wednesday and it was a good time. Yes, the Brewers lost. I know because I was there and I stayed for the whole thing. It wasn't a bad loss though. The team fought til the end and had a runner on third at the end of the ninth that would have tied the game. Cameron did his best to fight off the tough pitches, but he ended up popping out. It happens, it's baseball. The point is that I got to see the entire thing play out. I got to see Hoffman take down his former team easily in the ninth. I got to see Prince get a big hit. I got to see Escobar steal a big base in the ninth. I got to see it all and the reason I got to see it all wasn't because I had good seats or because I am Ryan Braun's favorite blogger. No, I got to see it all because, and you are not going to believe this, I STAYED FOR THE ENTIRE GAME!

I know, crazy right? I bought tickets to a baseball game and I actually stayed for the whole thing and watched it. Not because I am like this crazy obsessed baseball fan who needs a perfect scorecard, but because the team had a good chance to win and I wanted to see them do it! I KNOW!!! RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, it's your money and you can do what you want with it. After a really exciting 7th inning when the team pulled within one I had the good feeling that they were going to be able to comeback and win the game. After the 8th, when the team didn't score I still hadn't given up hope. Apparently everyone else did because a ton of people left after the eighth inning. Why? I have no idea. To me there are only three reasons to leave a game and they are as follows: Continue reading →


09
Apr 09

Guide to Opening Day: To Bong or Not to Bong?

Miller Park Drunk Guide To Opening Day

To Bong or Not to Bong?: A guide to getting drunk

"Luther said I could learn some things from you. I already know how to drink" - The Sting

Of course you know how to drink. I wouldn't doubt it for a second. You've probably never had too much to drink and thrown up. Or said something you shouldn't have. Fell down, been thrown out of a bar, attempted a backflip or chewed your arm off to get away from a girl you woke up next to. You've probably never kissed a dude because you thought it would be funny or split your pants or threw up at a bar ON the bar. You know how to drink, you wouldn't do these things.

Here's the thing, I have. I've done all those things. I have done more stupid things while I was drunk then pretty much everyone you've ever met. I've ruined more relationships, spilled more tequilla on myself, sent more regrettable texts and had more heads shaken at me (oh, you) than my entire readership combined. Is this something I'm proud of? Of course not. I wish I could drink like a normal person and do normal things. I wish I had more than three readers. It's just that when I drink I am fairly certain that I can do a standing backflip and will later have to throw up. These things happen. So while you may think you know how to drink, I'm going to tell you how NOT to drink at Opening Day. It's my pleasure, really.

Continue reading →

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