23
Jul 13

Chris Benoit

It's no secret that I love wrestling. I reference it all the time and I write about it on the side. It's my thing, but there was once a time when I thought I would never watch wrestling again and that's when Chris Benoit killed his family and himself.

My girlfriend at the time was pregnant with my child that I was completely unprepared for and our relationship was a bit... let's say rocky. My irresponsibility combined with her pregnancy brain and worries about the future combined with the general instability of our relationship in general had us on the rocks. Things weren't really looking good, but we were trying to make it work. For the kid maybe or ourselves or more likely because not trying and dealing with it seemed so damn horrible. We set up a date where we'd get dinner and she'd let me watch Raw and we'd just hang out. Try to have fun, try to have a good time, try to talk. ryanguilty

Before she came over I went online and got a message from my friend Graeme that Chris Benoit was dead and so was his family. I was in shock. This was one of my absolute favorite wrestlers and he was dead. Was he murdered? Was it a gas leak? I felt really bad. Our plans would have to change. I didn't want to eat. I was sad that this wrestler dude who had been apart of my life every week for nearly ten years was gone. Graeme, another guy Brando and I chatted online for hours as the news slowly trickled in. We watched the Raw that was a tribute to him and that slowly became the worst idea ever as before it was over the truth came out: Benoit murdered his family and then killed himself. He was the worst person ever. I felt horrible. I went from sad to depressed to sad and depressed that I was sad and depressed over a murderer. I couldn't experience joy. I jut felt sick to my stomach and I hated everything about life and this world and the way things are. This, as you can imagine, did not sit very well with the mother of my future child. She couldn't understand how I could be so upset about someone I didn't even know. She wanted me to pay attention to her and be attentive and not be so caught up in this fake world. Wrestling was on TV, but she was right there and I couldn't see what was happening right in front of my face. She didn't get it and that night after one of my favorite wrestlers of all time murdered his family and himself, we broke up. A bad night made worse.

After that I couldn't watch wrestling for a long time. It was a constant reminder of those bad memories and it wasn't fun for me anymore. I stopped playing wrestling games, I stopped reading news and results, got rid of my shirts, got rid of my books and I quit watching. Wrestling was over for me because some guy ruined it.

I'm not writing this because I want to compare Ryan Braun to Chris Benoit (or Aaron Hernandez) because I am a rational human being that can tell the difference between breaking a sport's rules and murdering people, but I can't help but to feel similar feelings. Continue reading →


02
Aug 12

Six stupid things people need to stop doing right now

I really didn't mean to do two "people are dumb" posts in a single Off Topic Week, but sometimes you just have to. I have a captive audience here and hopefully my words can hope to better mankind. It's the entire point of running a site called Miller Park Drunk really.

I am a writer and as a writer I am a keen observer of the human condition. I am also a borderline alcoholic so I spend a lot of time drinking in public with other people. Thirdly, all my best friends are dumb (except for you, best friend who is reading this.) Because of this unique combination I have a window into humanity that not many other people do. I see people do things on a daily basis. I see things that bother me, things I love, things I hate, but mostly things that annoy the hell out of me. Look, I'm not one of these people who hates everyone and everything. I really want to like people. I want to have a good time and have lots of friends and be happy, but some people just make it so hard to do that. What is the problem guys? Be young. Have fun. Drink Pepsi.

There are many annoying traits in people that I can handle. Stupid laughs, loud gum chewing, bad taste in movies and overuse of cologne are all traits that I dislike, but can accept and remain friends with you. However, if you do any of these following six things? Fix it. Right now. Or we are donezo. Continue reading →


25
Jul 12

RIP 2012 Milwaukee Brewers

Well, the improbable has become the basically impossible and I am throwing in the towel on the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers playoff hopes. Notice I said playoff hopes and not the team itself? Yeah, that's how you do it. There is a lot of summer left with basically nothing to do so watching the Brewers is still going to be one of the cornerstones of my life until the season is over. I will still want them to win baseball games because watching my favorite baseball team win games is fun for me. I've never understood why some people take on the opinion that once a team is eliminated from the playoffs they should lose every game for the rest of the season to improve their draft pick. What fun is that? You people watch too much basketball. I'm not saying the Brewers should be adding pieces or not doing trades to improve themselves for the future, but if Yovani Gallardo is pitching and Ryan Braun is hitting then that can be a fun team to watch. You should want those guys to win especially if you, you know, have tickets to a game and want to have a good time. This isn't rocket science. This is rocket science:

It's okay to still like a baseball team that isn't going to the playoffs. If you don't agree just watch the Packers practice in sweatpants or whatever.

I really had high hopes for the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers and there has been nothing that happened this season to make me doubt those high hopes. Things simply didn't go their way. Their shortstop got hurt, their bullpen wasn't that good which was exacerbated by the fact that some of their better arms had to fill in for injured starting pitchers, a handful of players decided not to show up in April, John Axford had his wisdom teeth pulled and decided it would be fun to pitch like he was still in the middle of surgery and luck never once felt like it was on the Brewers side. A few breaks the other way and this team is right in the thick of it, but if I start agonizing over "what ifs" now I might start crying. WHAT IF ROENICKE DIDN'T GO MARCUM THEN NARVESON IN GAME 6 GUYS!? WHAT IF HE USED BEST RELIEVERS INSTEAD!? WHAT IF!?

/looks at unused NLCS game 7 ticket
/cries

Continue reading →


16
Jun 12

Pants Party 2 is one month away!

We are now one month away from Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party 2 and somehow there are still tickets available. I don't know why. It's a great deal and you get to drink with some of the coolest people around (and Tyler.) We're drinking, we're eating, we're playing games and we're giving a ton of stuff away in a raffle. It's going to be a good time. So why aren't we sold out?

Well, I have a theory. You see about a year ago I broke up with my girlfriend and somehow thought writing terrible blog posts would get her back. (It didn't. Thank god.) What I didn't think of at the time was that I sounded like a total pussy and a year later nobody would want to come to my Pants Party because they think I have no balls. Seriously, look at this:

Not trying to get too "inside baseball" here, but the truth is that when you stop being yourself you stop being someone that people like to spend time with. Being "the" Miller Park Drunk all the time was a stupid goal and I've changed in a way where that isn't what I want to do anymore, but that doesn't mean that I want to stop having great times at Brewers games.

(Excuse me I have to stab myself in the eye with a lead based pencil a few times. Be right back.) Continue reading →


30
Aug 10

Miller Park Drunk’s Finest Hour

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party was a huge success. It seemed like everyone who came wanted to have a good time and I think that everyone there got exactly what they wanted and more. There were little problems here and there, but none of it ended up having an effect on anyone's good time and that's all you can really ask for.

The party started right when people were allowed in the park at 10 AM (nearly half the party showed up right at ten on the dot) and didn't stop for some until about the third inning when a combination of the kegs being empty and the cops telling us to go inside did the party in. (Honestly, this was probably for the best.)

While lasting at most four hours, the party (not including the game which was also nice, Braun was 4 for 4 with a homerun and a broken arm) had a little bit of everything and in some ways was a perfect representation of this site and what we try to do around here. If you wanted to talk about baseball the whole time, you could do that. If you wanted to get really drunk, you could do that and if you wanted stuff your face with ballpark food, you could that too. There was a little something for everyone and great times were had. I honestly can't picture it working out any better than it did.

I'd like to thank everyone that came and participated. I just brought everyone together, but you all did as much to make it fun as anyone else. I can't thank you enough. Everyone had their party pants on yesterday and the party was better for it. I'd also like to thank a few people specifically:

- Ryan: For being an amazing cook and keeping the food flowing throughout the park. This party wouldn't have been half as good without the spread he created and executed.
- Larry from wezen-ball: Who did just as much to promote this party and get people to come as I did. I don't know why he did it, but I'm glad he did.
- The girls with the personalized shirts: For bringing the fun and keeping everyone involved. Lucky guy I am to have friends like you.
- Tyler Maas: For being an endless source of comedy, intentionally and unintentionally, for the entirety of the party.

I put in a lot of work to pull this party off, but in the end the entire thing came off completely effortless and fun. It was just a good time for everyone and that's why I can't wait for next time and neither can anyone else. (Coming in 2011, Pants Party 2: Electric Boogaloo.) There will be a next time next season and when it happens I expect at least 90% of the people who were there yesterday to return for the squeakquel and in the end that's the best thing I can say about it.

Also, this happened. Continue reading →

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