30
Sep 11

Tips for making a Brewers playoff baby

I have this friend named John. He is a HUGE Brewers fan and so is his dad. In fact, his dad is such a big Brewers fan that John most likely wouldn't exist if it wasn't for the Brewers 1982 World Series run. You see his parents had sex after one of the games and she got pregnant and later John was born. This kind of thing happens all the time. By my estimation I wouldn't exist if it wasn't for alcohol the series premiere of The Greatest American Hero. (You should see the way my mom cries when she hears "Believe It Or Not".) With the Brewers set to make another run toward the World Series love is definitely in the air. Our "sex in a stadium bathroom" post has been getting record hits over the last week, Bonnie Brewer outfits are completely sold out from the fetish shop I go to and even Al's Ramblings is talking to girls now. The playoffs are here, love is all around us and it is only natural that babies are going to be made as a result.

Of course, having a baby is a big decision that should not be entered into lightly and you should use caution and make bla bla bla because it's something that will affect you for the bla bla bla of your bla bla bla. Who cares!? Really. The Brewers are going to the World Series! You're going to be together with whoever you are with now forever! And you'll name your baby Rickie Prince Ryan Park Drunk Gallardo (your last name)! Everything is going to work out fine! BREWERS!!!!!

Look, you people who are going to do this you know who you are. If you're going to do this then just do it. I make mistakes that will change the rest of my life forever all the time, but if you're going to do this you need to do it right. You can't just rush into this thing, you need a gameplan. You need me to show you the way to make a Brewers playoff baby the right way. In fact, let's do that right now. Continue reading →

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