Announcement: What the Bucks

Off-Base September 14th, 2010

You may have noticed a lack of posting in the past couple weeks here. There are a couple of reasons for this. For one, we're still nursing a hangover from the Pants Party. (Have I mentioned how awesome that was? Check out the photo album!) The other main thing that has been slowing us down is our development of a spinoff website. That's right, Miller Park Drunk is getting it's own Joey. Never again will you have to worry about "Bradley Center Drunk" lurking his head around these parts again because we now have our very own Bucks blogs.

(*waits for applause*)

(*gives up*)

I'm sure you have questions so we will attempt to answer them here. Read the rest of this entry »

How to have sex in the bathroom at a stadium

Fans April 9th, 2010

Well, it happened again. Someone had sex in the bathroom (with another person) of a Major League park that wasn't me. I mean, what the hell man? It's not like I haven't tried. Okay, maybe I haven't really tried at all but still. For the amount of games I go to you would think that the opportunity would have arisen by now. It's like catching a foul ball right?

Luckily, unlike catching a foul ball there is something I can do about it. No, I'm not talking about roofies. I would never share those. I'm talking about taking matters into my own hands. I'm talking about emailing every known bathroom sex having person and asking them how they did it. I'm talking about soliciting the advice of experts. So unlike my guides for sneaking in booze, getting over a hangover or killing a homeless man in the parking lot and disposing of his body before game time (whoops haven't written that one yet), this is a guide of something that I haven't actually done yet. This is a guide to guide me too. It's an interactive experience here at Miller Park Drunk.

Since much of our fanbase is made up of women we will be providing guides for both men and women. Up first, the ladies.

Read the rest of this entry »

Best of Miller Park Drunk 2009

Off-Base December 30th, 2009

LOLBREWERS: Rickie WeeksHey, it's time for one of those year end clip shows that you love so much. You know like that time on Full House when we saw how much we truly loved and appreciated Uncle Jesse after seeing those old clips. There was no need for him to move out of the house with his family, he could just live in the attic!

Miller Park Drunk has only been open a year, but we've published over 300 posts in that time period. Call this the best of 2009, call it The Beginner's Guide to Miller Park Drunk, call it whatever you'd like, here it is.

BEST OF THE BEST

Don't You Forget About the Brewers: John Hughes, director of such classics as The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink, died this year and the Brewers paid him a tribute.

LOLBREWERS: Can't decide which one was my favorite, either Yovanni's Big Day or First Place Edition.

The Happy Youngster is a douchebag who makes us all look bad: This post really put us on the map with links from Deadspin and other major blogs. It also inspired this idiot to call us "a blogger who gives drunks a bad name", sold a few t-shirts and was semi-popular on tumblr. Not my favorite, but definitely worth mentioning.

Brewers Flow Charts: I have no idea where this idea came from, but it's definitely one of my favorite of all time.

Witrado's Quest: One of the weirder endeavors we have ever done did a fine job of getting the Witrado hatred out of our system. Not that we like him now just that it doesn't bother us as much anymore.

THE RUNNING SERIES: I loved this if only because Brew Crew Ball to write:

"I'll link to the Ken Macha and Corey Hart chapters here...the other two are a little too obscene to even be linked from this site."

AND

"If you have a vague interest in Brewer baseball, but wish there was less analysis and more profanity on this site, then Miller Park Drunk's RUNNING series might be just the ticket for you." Read the rest of this entry »

Thanksgiving Drunkstravaganza

Off-Base November 25th, 2009

thanksgivingI love Thanksgiving so, so very much. It combines a few of my favorite pastimes: overeating, drinking heavily, not doing anything, punching family members in the face.  If we could figure out a way to transfer Thanksgiving to the parking lot at Miller Park in mid-August this would be the greatest holiday of all. It still is (why? none of that whiny God shit), but that would make it just that much better like a finger in your asshole during a blowjob. I mean, ummm.... I just... uhh, ummm yeah. So ANYWAYS, Thanksgiving is awesome and I like to consider myself an expert in the holiday. Do I know how to cook turkey and do stuff with the gizard and whatnot? Fuck no. I know how to make this holiday legendary. I know how to turn Thanksgiving into Thanksfuckingyeahgiving. Want to have an awesome holiday? Tired of deciding to go to the movies because you are so bored? Tired of pretending to care about a Cowboys game or using mock outrage that you don't get the NFL Network? Miller Park Drunk is here to guide you through the greatest holiday of them all. Read the rest of this entry »

10 Things I Won’t Miss About The Brewers

Baseball October 13th, 2009

Brewers Dodgers BaseballWe've decided against doing a long, season retrospective post about the team. There is simply too much to talk about. For instance the pitching staff deserved its own post. Prince Fielder probably deserves his own post. So we're not done writing about the Brewers, not by a longshot. That being said, there are a few things that I am not going to be writing about. Things that bothered me all season long that I am so happy we don't have to put up with anymore. Things like Anthony Witrado and The Happy Youngster. Things like this:

  1. Tom Haudricourt's Twitter: Tyler Maas covered this excellently over the summer, but it needs to be reiterated. This was the most depressing thing to read about the Brewers all season. How anyone could hate watching the Brewers play baseball so much and be employed to write about it, I'll never know. The only thing worse than his constant complaining about the Brewers is his attempts at humor. Leave it to the professionals buddy. In his defense it's not like he just hates the Brewers, he hates his alma mater too.  Read the rest of this entry »
blank