14
Sep 09

Meet the new boss, much cooler than the old boss

neweditor

WAZZUP BITCHEZZ????

Welcome to the NEW and IMPROVED Miller Park Drunk. I'm Chad and I am the new boss (and yes that is me bombin' two Old Styles at once,WHAT). Your prolly thinking "why is this dude in a Cubs jersey who can drink two Old Styles at a time and is obviously a pimp buying a site called Miller Park Drunk? Well, if there is one thing I have learned in my life it's that you don't have to like the Brewers to get drunk at Miller Park! Heck, you don't even have to like baseball! In the history of Miller Park the best drunks have ALWAYS come from Chi-town.

look at me i'm the old editor, i'm a stupid faget

"look at me i'm the old editor, i'm stupid"

For real though, I been reading this website for awhile and thought it was pretty frickin' funny. I just knew that I could make it better. How? By making it about the Cubs, DUH!!!! So I took some money out of my trust fund and gave that idiot who was running it an offer he couldn't refuse (fifty bucks, a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best and the issue of Playboy with Sable from WWF.) You Wisconsin folk are so simple.

Things are gonna be a bit different around here now. First order of business is to make up for all the dumb stuff this idiot said before. Like who doesn't like a good retro jersey? My prized possession is my autographed Sosa jersey. I'm not supposed to wear that just because he's not on the team anymore? BITE ME MILLER PARK DRUNK! Did Paul Moliter ever hit 60 homers in a season? Didn't think so! How about Robin Yount? No? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Anyways that's enough for the day I gotta head down to the Cubby Bear for a little pregame before the Cubs WHOOP some Brewers ASS tonight. That's right, Ryan Braun does my taxes. I'll be the dude in the autographed Sosa jersey sipping on Old Style. If you see me come say whats up and maybe I'll give you a little tug off my flask. Jack Daniels? YOU DAMN RIGHT JACK DANIELS.

Tomorrow we should have some more awesome, way better than before stuff including a VERY SPECIAL GUEST WRITER who I think kicks total ass and more stuff that kicks ass. Have fun watching the game tonight, I know I will.

PREDICTION: Cubs 17 Brewers 1. Theriot hits for the cycle.


14
Sep 09

Anatomy of a Play

In case you missed the Brewers game yesterday (and I am guessing you probably did), Alcides Escobar made probably the best play I have seen all year. I described it on twitter as "alcides with a play jj is incapable of dreaming about" and later Al's Ramblings said basically the same thing (I would link to the post but Al has a terrible CMS that won't allow it). If you didn't see it or just want to watch it again, here it is.

Whenever you see a play like that you are awestruck and filled with questions. How did he do that? What was going through his mind on the play? Well, luckily for you I have the upgraded version of MLB.tv which includes a new feature called mind reading which I have transcribed for your enjoyment. Continue reading →


10
Sep 09

Calling for the head of Ken Macha

ken machaI am not a person who blames a manager for the success of a team. The job of a manager isn't that hard and in the grand scheme of things he doesn't really have a huge effect on the team's results. It's not like people are sitting around saying "he batted Cameron fifth and Hart sixth, if he had just flip flopped them we wouldn't have lost 14-6 to the Nationals!" there is really only so much the guy can do. All he can really do is pencil people in and hope they do the job.

I don't blame Macha for this season. I blame injuries for this season. I can't think of one game that Macha has either won or lost. He is a basic, by the book manager and not all that different than Ned Yost. Before this week I really had no reason or desire to care if he was the team's manager or not. Now? Fire him.

Fire him, fire him, fire him, fire him. Continue reading →


08
Sep 09

Please shut up about Prince’s walk off celebration

This season the Brewers have been surrounded by controversy. Whether it was the Cardinals hating their untucking, the Pirates hating Ryan Braun, Bob Brenly hating Ryan Braun, Jason Kendall and Dave Kerwin, The Happy Douchebag against the Marlins or whatever other ridiculous controversy we've seen this season, it's always been something. There's always something going on. Well, this latest one is the last straw. The latest one stems from Prince Fielder's AWESOME walk off home run celebration. I wrote a few weeks ago that some of our favorite moments this season hadn't even happened yet. Well, guess what? This was one of them. Let's watch it again.

Watching it again I see nothing but pure joy. This has been a hard season for the team and for the fans. This was a moment to be happy, a moment to think of better times. The Brewers weren't rubbing it in the Giants faces, they were celebrating their own accomplishment and they did it in a cool way. What's wrong with that? A lot apparently.

"I did laugh. I did think it was funny. It was very creative," Hunter said. "But it's a little strong for baseball, because you could have a 90-mph fastball coming at you the next day. You've got to have toughness and heart to do that. It's not for me. If someone did that against us and we played them again, trust me, he'd get crushed, and we'd try to fight him."

Really Torii Hunter? You're going to fight someone over that? You're going to fight PRINCE FIELDER of all people? Are you that guy who freaks out at me for bumping into him? Or are you just talking? Maybe you're just talking. Afterall, he just saw this on TV. Surely, the Giants couldn't be that upset about this.

Pitching coach Dave Righetti stared so hard at Fielder as he gave a post-game interview I kept waiting for Prince's head to explode.

Well, I guess that's to be expected. I know that whenever I am mad I stare at someone intensely for ten minutes. Surely, the Brewers own manager "gets it". Right Ken?

"I was shocked, standing there"

Oh, I guess not. Is there somebody out there that can look at this thing reasonably? Anybody? How about you weird old man?

"I'm as old school as anybody but there's nothing wrong with that," said reliever David Weathers. "You've got to have some fun. I've seen a lot worse things go on than that.

"We're just trying to have some fun. It's not disrespect for the other team. It's not about them. It's about us."

I'm just going to skip over the 200 other columnists who complained about this too because what Weathers says is right. It's FUN. They want to enjoy their jobs. They want to savor their victories and really, what's wrong with that? It's not about the Giants and it's stupid for them to think that it is. This is about a silver lining on a crappy season. So can we please stop being mock offended every time the Brewers do something interesting? It's getting old. Prince's celebration needs to be what it's meant to be, a lasting image and memory for Brewers fans. Seriously, make this a shirt already.

prince fielder


01
Sep 09

Meet Alcides Escobar ladies

Sometimes I forget that I may have more female readers than I have male readers and that talking negatively about JJ Hardy is probably not the best course of action. The problem is the JJ days are probably over. The Alcides Escobar era is here and there's nothing we can do about it. I want the ladies to love Alcides, but the fact is that he is nowhere near as good looking as JJ Hardy. A friend of mine tells me that he enjoys vodka/cranberry and Michael Jackson, but that's just not enough to make this happen. We need more.

Luckily for Alcides he has me on his side. Here's 10 things that Alcides Escobar can do (scratch that, WILL DO) to make the ladies love him like they love JJ. When we're done with him he's going to make JJ Hardy look like Jonathan Knight (to his Donnie Wahlberg (or Joey McIntyre depending on your preference)) and no one will care when he comes out of the closet.

Continue reading →

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