Tag Archives: hell

Epic Meal Time: Brewers Hat Brunch

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The 2012 season is long gone, but that doesn't mean that we are completely done with it. We still have a little unfinished business to take care of. Specifically:

As we all know Nyjer Morgan made it all the way through the season as a Brewer, posting an uninspiring .239/.302/.308 slash line in a lame duck season where he was pretty much extraneous to the roster. It was a shock to me that other teams didn't want him, but at the same time I guess it shouldn't have been. While his 16 RBIs may seem compelling for a team in need of outfield help, this is the same guy who pooped in a Gatorade bottle and threw chewing tobacco at the Cardinals.

Still, I was wrong about Nyjer Morgan's future as a Brewer and I have to hone up to it. I made a promise to my fans and I never let down my fans. I'm man enough to stand behind my words and that's why I'm doing this. That's right...

Today I eat my f'n hat.

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Six stupid things people need to stop doing right now

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I really didn't mean to do two "people are dumb" posts in a single Off Topic Week, but sometimes you just have to. I have a captive audience here and hopefully my words can hope to better mankind. It's the entire point of running a site called Miller Park Drunk really.

I am a writer and as a writer I am a keen observer of the human condition. I am also a borderline alcoholic so I spend a lot of time drinking in public with other people. Thirdly, all my best friends are dumb (except for you, best friend who is reading this.) Because of this unique combination I have a window into humanity that not many other people do. I see people do things on a daily basis. I see things that bother me, things I love, things I hate, but mostly things that annoy the hell out of me. Look, I'm not one of these people who hates everyone and everything. I really want to like people. I want to have a good time and have lots of friends and be happy, but some people just make it so hard to do that. What is the problem guys? Be young. Have fun. Drink Pepsi.

There are many annoying traits in people that I can handle. Stupid laughs, loud gum chewing, bad taste in movies and overuse of cologne are all traits that I dislike, but can accept and remain friends with you. However, if you do any of these following six things? Fix it. Right now. Or we are donezo. Continue reading »

Enjoy Brewers Baseball The Miller Park Drunk Way

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I'm always checking out twitter during the games. This isn't because all my friends are either old or lame married or gay, and it's certainly not because I live in a basement and if I make too much noise I'll wake my mom up and she'll be mad. No, I do this because I like to keep my finger on the pulse of what Brewers fans are thinking. I've always sort of prided this blog on that and I enjoy being able to write about whatever people are happy or mad or sad about. It's kind of our thing.

Lately when I take to twitter it hasn't been a lot of fun. All I seem to be doing is defending the Brewers and trying to talk people off of the ledge. This is pretty crazy to me because it's May 15th and we're still a good 126 games away from the end of the season. A LOT CAN HAPPEN. Hell, I just wrote about the season not being over a week ago. Are we giving up again already? Since I wrote that post the Brewers have gone 4-3. Not exactly the streak you've been looking for, but hey they are better off than they were (and if they kept playing like that they'd win 88 games. #justsaying) Oh, and their starters have been really awesome since that post too. Zack Greinke has put in two genius performances, Marcum threw another gem and... you know what? That's not what this is about. I'm not here to tell you not to worry or to relax because I realize the problem runs much deeper than that.

You see I've thought for a long time that if I could just make some strong points about why the Brewers are actually better than their most recent results then people would see a clearer picture and agree with me and thus feel better about the baseball team. Sometimes we all need a little wake up call and that is a post I enjoy writing because people have been telling me to grow wake up my entire life. It's worked in the past, but what I've come to realize is that some people don't need a wake up call. Some people are just doing it wrong. Some people are watching the Brewers for the wrong reasons. Some people think like this:


And that's just a bad idea. What fun would that be anyway? 35-0, what would be the point of even watching? Oh, the Brewers won again big frickin' deal. I don't even want these George Webb burgers. That isn't what life is about and it certainly isn't what baseball is about. If you are watching the Brewers like this then I think you need some help and I want to be the one to do it. I am going to help you learn to enjoy baseball the Miller Park Drunk way and, no, I don't mean just getting drunk the whole time. (Although that does work too.) I am talking about watching baseball and liking what you see it. Do you think you can handle that? Let's do it. Continue reading »

300 Days of Fielder

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Last night the Brewers saw a pretty cool record take place. No, I'm not talking about becoming only the seventh team in history to give up four straight homeruns in an inning. That'd be stupid. Why would I want to talk about that? HUH? WHY!? MY PARENTS GOT DIVORCED WHEN I WAS A KID DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT TOO!? (*takes deep breath, hugs Teddy Ruxpin*)

No, what I am talking about is Prince Fielder starting his 300th consecutive game. He already broke Robin Yount's 274 game streak earlier this season, but you know how baseball is with it's big round numbers and 300 just sounds better than 274. Coming on a week in which we saw the Brewers roll out an outfield of Alcides Escobar, Joe Inglett and Lorenzo Cain because of injuries to Braun and Hart, it becomes even more impressive. I mean, if you put Braun, Fielder and Hart in a lineup and asked someone to pick the healthiest of the three would anyone pick Prince? Anyone? Yet, that's the way it's been for over two years now. In fact, since becoming a Brewer Prince Fielder has never spent anytime on the DL and the least amount of games he's played in a full season is 157. Since 2006 Prince has appeared in 751 of a possible 763 games. Seriously. Prince is the shit, yo. Continue reading »

This Week In Witardo: Only nerds like stats

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Braun trends (geek edition)

A lot of you have been curious as to why Ryan Braun's struggles this season are happening at the rate they are, and to find out things like that takes some time, as you can see here in this Fan Graphs blog that breaks down several factors for Braun's season.

And I'm like "I don't know, I'm just paid to write about him for my job. How the hell am I supposed to know why he struggles?"

This is why this is one of my favorite sites.

No it's not. I actually have it on good authority that these are your favorite sites.

  1. Bros Icing Bros (RIP)
  2. The Dirty (Nik Richie is the shit, yo.)
  3. Myspace

The overall theme is Braun seems to be sacrificing power numbers for putting the ball in play more often. However, he is putting it in play with less authority than in the past and that is a major reason for his dip. It is a very interesting breakdown by David Golebiewski.

David Golebiewski? He sounds like a nerd.

But I'll warn you, if you're not a numbers freak/geek/nerd who loves breakdowns, be careful with this post. There are plenty of charts and stats that read like alphabet soup but provide solid information.

Seriously, if you understand anything in this post you are a huge nerd. Do you like Star Wars? Do you play Dungeons & Dragons? Have you ever fantasized about Six from Battlestar Galactica? If so, you'll love this post because this post is for nerds and geeks like you.

So I guess the question is, should Braun sacrifice striking out less in order to hit for more pop?

While we're here A-dub has another question, should he put his pants on one leg at a time or both at the same time? It seems like it'd be a lot faster if he just put both legs in at the same time, but he always seem to fall down. Can any geeks figure this out for him?