19
May 10

Even the animals hate Trevor Hoffman

I think the last remaining member of the "Trevor Hoffman is just having a slow start" bandwagon fell off yesterday and now we can all finally accept that Trevor Hoffman is done as a closer. He doesn't have it. He throws right down the middle and he doesn't fool anyone. Is this a person in the world that was honestly surprised that Glaus hit that homerun? I didn't think so. Yesterday should be Trevor Hoffman's last chance to be the Brewers closer and he shouldn't get a chance to hit 600, at least with the Brewers. Sorry guy, it's been a nice career but it's over. How do I know? Because at this point, even the animal kingdom hates him and animals are stupid. If they hate you, you must really suck.

Continue reading →


29
Apr 10

I never want to hear Hell’s Bells again

Last night I watched the Milwaukee Bucks come back from a double digit deficit in the fourth quarter to steal game 5 in Atlanta, breaking a 14 game home winning streak for the Hawks and setting the Bucks up to close the series out Friday in Milwaukee. Despite them being down I never stopped believing that they could win and they proved me right.

Yesterday during the day I had the same feeling except it was the exact opposite. Sitting in my seat at Miller Park with the Brewers leading our hated rival Pirates 4-3 in the bottom of the eighth I prayed for runs. I'm not a religious man, I once told someone that I was sick of Jesus c-blocking me all the time, but I still got down on my knees and prayed for a four run lead. Why? I didn't want to hear Hell's Bells. I didn't want Trevor Hoffman to come in for the save. I wanted Suppan or Vargas, anyone but Trevor.

In 2009 "Hell's Bells" was the best time you could have at a Brewers game. In 2010 it sends people heading for the exits with their heads down. It makes an optimistic fan like myself break a cheese fries helmet and try to slit his wrist. Except it's not really fear. I wasn't afraid that Trevor Hoffman would blow the save, I knew Trevor Hoffman would blow the save. Not only did I know that he would blow the save I knew how he would do it too, I knew he'd give up a homerun. Probably to the first batter of the inning. What happened? Well, he gave up a homerun to the first batter and blew the save. Of course he did and it was at that moment that I realized I never want to hear "Hell's Bells" again in my life and that I think I hate Trevor Hoffman. Continue reading →


30
Nov 09

10 Best Brewers of the Decade

waynesworldtoptenI like to read hastily put together lists that make people angry. Just today I read a list of the best 10 TV shows of the decade that somehow included Modern Family despite it only having aired like six episodes. What a joke, right? Always in search of links and angry comments I decided today would be a good day to put together my own hastily top ten list. Enjoy. Continue reading →


20
Nov 09

Brewers Decade in Review: 2001

george w bush brewers opening dayAs the decade comes to a close we thought it would be a good idea to look back on what it all meant for the Milwaukee Brewers and their fans. It's the Brewers Decade in Review. SPOILERS: Some of it is good, a lot of it was bad and most of it was forgettable. Just like every decade except for the 80's. The 80's were awesome.

The 2001 Opening Day was probably the most anticipated Opening Day in Milwaukee Brewers history. You couldn't drive on I-94 without seeing it, you couldn't turn on the TV without hearing about it and you couldn't make love to a man or woman without accidentally screaming it's name. The presence of Miller Park lingered over everything. At least that's how I assume it was, I was living in Seattle in 2001 watching Ichiro lead a team to 116 wins eating copious amounts of salmon and drinking five gallons of latte per day. Yet I couldn't help but notice what was going on back home and feeling sorry for everyone. A whopping 2.8 million people came to see the new place that season and the Brewers rewarded them by winning their first game there. a game that had President George W. Bush throwing out the first pitch. It would prove to be the high point of the season. In the next 161 games they went 67-94.

The story of the season was the offense. Like all the Selig era teams they could hit homeruns (3rd in the league) and not do much of anything else except lose. Eight players hit ten or more homeruns that season. You'd think with a lineup like that they would have an above average offense and with this group, you would be wrong. They weren't good.

There was, however, a few bright spots. Continue reading →


19
Nov 09

Brewers Decade in Review: 2000

richiesexsonAs the decade comes to a close we thought it would be a good idea to look back on what it all meant for the Milwaukee Brewers and their fans. It's the Brewers Decade in Review. SPOILERS: Some of it is good, a lot of it was bad and most of it was forgettable. Just like every decade except for the 80's. The 80's were awesome.

I don't remember much about the year 2000 in baseball and I definitely don't remember much about the Brewers in the year 2000. I was too busy being cool. Listening to Less Than Jake CDs, drinking Carlo Rossi straight from the bottle (my favorite? Vin Rose, of course), doing backflips off of piers (back when I could still do a backflip without breaking my neck) and generally just screwing up the next few years of my life. It was a good time and I didn't really care about the Brewers or how they did. Judging by the looks of things, they didn't either.

Seriously, look at their Opening Day starters:

Kevin Barker 1B
Ronnie Belliard 2B
Henry Blanco C
Jeromy Burnitz RF
Marquis Grissom CF
Jimmy Haynes SP
Jose Hernandez SS
Geoff Jenkins LF
Mark Loretta SS

Uhhh, yeah. Does it surprise you they finished 73-89? Didn't think so. If you think the Brewers pitching sucked in 2009 try a season where Jimmy Haynes is your Opening Day starter. Yikes. Continue reading →

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