Tag Archives: homeruns

Making sense of John Axford

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JOHN AXFORD IS THE WORST PITCHER EVER AND I HATE HIM AND IF IT WASN'T FOR HIM AND HIS STUPID BLOWN SAVES WE WOULD PROBABLY BE IN FIRST PLACE AND BE BIG TIME BUYERS AT THE TRADE DEADLINE LIKE WE'D PROBABLY GET PRINCE BACK AND COLE HAMELS AND PAUL MOLITOR AND JESUS AND BATMAN AND A NEW MANAGER WHO COULD PROBABLY JUST BE BATMANS BUTLER ALFRED BECAUSE HE SEEMS REALLY SMART. MAN CAN YOU GUYS BELIEVE THAT ROBIN DIED IN DARK KNIGHT RISES? ANYWAYS IF IT WASNT FOR STUPID AXFORD PULLING A derrick turnbow THEN WE'D PROBABLY HAVE ALL THOSE GUYS AND JOSH HAMILTON TOO AND THEN WIN LIKE A MILLION WORLD SERIES. WE COULD HAVE LIKE REALLY COOL COMMERCIALS WITH AARON RODGERS AND RYAN BRAUN BEING LIKE YO CHECK OUT MY RING DUDE, NO YOU CHECK OUT MY RING DUDE LOL. THE POINT IS I HATE JOHN AXFORD AND HIS STUPID MUSTACHE AND I HOPE HE FALLS OFF A BRIDGE INTO A MILLION GALLONS OF WATER THAT IS ON FIRE AND IT BURNS HIS HAIR OFF BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO CUT IT OFF ANYWAYS BECAUSE IT ANNOYS ME WHEN HE IS ON TV BLOWING A SAVE AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM PITCH EVER EVER AGAIN.

HE WAS COOL LAST YEAR THO.

I don't know maybe I'm just defensive about people who overreact to things, but that's how everyone sounds to me when they talk about John Axford. Crazy, irrational, stupid; basically like any girl who has ever dated me for over three months.

Not that a lot of the vitriol towards John Axford is undeserved. He hasn't really done his job all that well this season. He's had trouble locating his pitches which leads to walks and bad counts which lead to big homeruns. It's not been a real fun time to be John Axford this season and he knows it, just like you know that watching John Axford has not been very fun. But has he really been that bad? Continue reading »

We Love Ryan Braun

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Heading into last night's game Ryan Braun was hitting .263/.322/.500 with four homeruns and three steals. Not exactly MVP numbers, but if your entire team is hitting like that you are probably leading the league in offense. He's been good, but he hasn't been great which is to say he hasn't been Ryan Braun. Much like the Brewers record he has been merely okay. Last night he changed that. Last night Ryan Braun did for the Brewers what the Aliens did for Woody and the gang at the end of Toy Story 3, he picked them up and he carried them away from the incinerator.

It was one of "those games" that only a special player like Ryan Braun can have. He hits the first one and you're glad, but you're not surprised. Ryan Braun was the MVP last season, he hits homeruns. Then he hits the second one and you're like "jesus maybe he is on steroids" "I have never seen a ball hit that far in my entire life, that was amazing." The next time he steps up to bat you are excited. You WANT something to happen, but you don't expect it. You think he's done enough, but you want him to do it again. Wouldn't that be cool? You know he can and all you can think of is how awesome it would be if he did. AND THEN HE DOES and it's more awesome than you think. Ryan Braun is trending worldwide. You celebrate. You pump your fist. You shotgun a beer. You wave your hands in the air like you just don't care. Continue reading »

The Milwaukee Brewers’ Finest Hour

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Five days ago I wrote a post titled "NINE" that captured the feelings of a nation. The Brewers were fresh off of two amazing wins in front of a crazy hometown crowd and it felt like they could beat anyone. ESPN and other major websites were writing articles about how the Brewers were "the team nobody wanted to face" and a "World Series favorite." Everything that could go right did and everything that could go wrong didn't. Everything was clicking, everything was perfect and the whole thing just felt amazing. An entire state was on top of the world. At the end of that post I wrote the following:

I am going to try and not get too excited. I'm going to try and not let these two games cloud my vision. I know there is a long way to go. I know these are only two games, but wow... just wow. What a weekend.

Last weekend was awesome, no doubt, but the odds of the Brewers sweeping the playoffs were slim. The odds of them sweeping the Diamondbacks were good, but they weren't a sure thing. A loss in this series was to be expected as the Diamondbacks are a very good baseball team. Two losses, while not ideal, was also a possibility. Losing these games was not the end of the world. Although it certainly does feel that way. Continue reading »

To trade (for a shortstop) or not to trade, that is the question

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To say that Brewers nation is fed up with Yuniesky Betancourt would be like saying drugs made Lindsay Lohan less attractive. It's a gross understatement and it doesn't even tap the surface of what's really going on and what people are thinking. People are tired of Yuni and his bad throws and his one pitch at-bats and everything else he can't seem to do right. There are people who'd prefer to see Josh Wilson and Craig Counsell out there everyday instead of Yuni and it's hard to blame them for it. People want change.

Of course, Josh Wilson and Craig Counsell are not the answer. As nice as they have been as fill-ins they are still just that. Take away Josh Wilson's two early homeruns and his numbers don't look so good. Also, he doesn't wear sunglasses. Craig Counsell, as great as he is, cannot play everyday. The Brewers need a starting shortstop that can start every game and be a positive contributor to the team. Let's try and figure out what the options are and see what (if anything) the Brewers can do about the Yuni situation. Continue reading »

CC Sabathia, The Brewers and You

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The Brewers lost their second game in a row to the New York Yankees tonight and are facing a sweep tomorrow afternoon at Yankee Stadium. We knew this series would be tough, but we didn't think they were going to be swept. At least we hoped not. Of course the Brewers can avoid that tomorrow by winning, but it won't be easy. The Brewers send Randy Wolf to the mound and while he's been very good this season I can't imagine the Yankees aren't licking their lips like Mo Vaughn at an all-you-can-eat wing buffet in anticipation of facing him. To make matters worse the Yankees are sending their ace to the mound, CC Sabathia. Yes, that CC Sabathia.

I should preface what I am about to write by noting that I really like CC Sabathia. I've always been a fan of his. He's like Doc Gooden and Willie "Da Bomb" Richardson wrapped together in a tortilla, topped with cheese and buffalo sauce, sprinkled with Jesus. In other words, he's awesome. (Coincidentally, that's what CC Sabathia had for dinner tonight.) He defies everything we think we know about pitch counts and healthy playing weights. I could see him pitching forever and breaking all of Cy Young's records along the way. He's the only Yankee I've ever liked. I love CC Sabathia.

Despite all of that, I want the Brewers to destroy him. I want them to hit ten homeruns in the first inning and ruin his ERA. I want the cover of New York dailies to read "IS CC DONE?" and "Sa-BAD-ia". I want the press to be like "What happened CC?" and for CC to be like "I don't know. That team is amazing. I can't beat them." I want the Brewers to win and CC to lose in the most humiliating fashion of all time. I want it so bad. Continue reading »