16
Feb 09

Who is Telly Hughes?

FSN-Wisconsin announced it's 2009 Brewers schedule today and conspicuous by his absence was Jeff Cirillo. In his place it seems is Telly Hughes.

Former Brewers first base coach Davey Nelson will provide analysis during Brewers Live before and after the game along with host Craig Coshun and Fox Sports Wisconsin newcomer Telly Hughes.

The question is, who is Telly Hughes? Telly is a former FSN North Reporter. Which means we have stolen someone from our hated AL rivals, the Twins. Talk about interleague intrigue! Not only that, but Telly is a blogger and not a very good one. Here's Telly on the 2007 All-Star game:

Tony made an elementary effort of defending himself by saying he was saving Albert for extra innings. As you can see, the National League never made it there. There is no justification for the 2005 N.L. M.V.P. to be available, in that kind of situation and his own manager doesn't use him. Not cool Tony, not cool.

Not good Telly, not good.

He's not being paid to be a blogger though, he's being bad for hard hitting pre and post-game analysis. Looking around the internet I've found that some Twins fans think he is borderline retarded and not only useless, but terrible at being useless. Just because he didn't understand what his own team's peanut-free promotion meant. I wonder if he was disappointed when he found out FSN was a drug-free workzone despite the lack of free marijuana. On facebook he has two fanclubs (Telly Hughes fanclub and the official Telly Hughes fan club) as well as the "fire telly hughes he's a dumbass" group. The good news is we can count on him for hard hitting questions in his post-game interviews.

As you can tell he's good at asking the tough questions, the questions fans demand answers to like "How did that feel?" and "Did that feel good?" Not only that, but his scouting is spot on. In an important game last summer against the White Sox, Hughes proudly pronounced that there was "no one" the Twins would rather have on the mound in the Dome than Livan Hernandez (his 9 hits and 5 Run, 4 inning outing was clearly an outlier). Jeff who, am I right?

None of this really matters to us, true Brewers fans though. We only want one thing from our pre and post-game analysts. The ability to rap, preferably rap poorly over a Tone Loc beat about St. Louis sports.

Mission accomplished.

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