|/steps off the plane in Minnesota|
|Where the F are we?|
|The itinerary says "Minn-ass-atah".|
|Where is that, freakin' Japan?|
|No, "Minn-AH-So-Tah". You know, 'Discover Minnesota' like in the commercials they show during our games.|
|You watch TV during our games?|
|Whoa, what's the deal with all these white people? I feel like the Jackie Robinson of Minnesota tourism.|
|Yeah and did you notice how things are sort of "blue collar" here?|
|And there is a surprising amount of overweight people?|
|Talk about a bizarro world.|
|Yeah and did you see all these purple jerseys? It's almost like the people who live here care more about their NFL team than their baseball team.|
|DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO|
|And what is the deal with all these lakes? It's like every time you turn around, there's another lake.|
|The road is long with many a winding turn. He ain't heavy, he's my brother.|
|If I can be serious for a moment, I bet some of the population says things like "yah hey dare" and "doncha know?"|
|I bet the people here hate the Chicago Bears.|
|I bet in the winter time it is easier to find fresh venison than a good plate of caviar and that it's always easier to find a good microbrew than a nice bottle of wine.|
|I bet the amount of liberals and conservatives is evenly distributed, but for some reason most of the liberals live in a specific area of the state.|
|I bet the fall is beautiful, the winters too long and the summers too short.|
|Seriously Ken, this place is freaking me out. I'm a hitting coach, get me out of here!|
|Yeah, it's nothing like Wisconsin. We need to hightail it out. Screw our record, this is about SURVIVAL.|
|Don't worry guys, I'll take care of everything.|
Here is a list of our tweets yesterday:
i need a drink. put me on suicide watch, weeks is don for the year
Here's some tweets I received:
Rickie Weeks is now out for the season. The recovery time on his injury is 4-6 months meaning that even in a best case scenario he won't be back for the playoffs. If there are a playoffs. One of my best friends claims that this is the best thing to ever happen to the Brewers. My friend is an idiot. Outside of the golden trio of Braun/Fielder/Gallardo, Weeks is the last person this team wanted to get hurt. Hart, Hardy and Hall are all replaceable. There isn't a single player on this team that can take his place at leadoff. Counsell is better at defense and matches his eye, but the power/speed combo isn't there. You can lead off Corey Hart, but you lose some OBP (perhaps a lot of it). You can lead off Kendall, but you lose every single thing Weeks does well and gain nothing except whiteness and metal knowledge. You can lead off... that's about it actually. Does a team need a true leadoff hitter to win it all? Not at all, but it certainly helps and it certainly hurts to have one and lose him.
Unfortunately, this isn't Baseball Mogul (which is probably a good thing because Baseball Mogul HATES the Brewers for some reason) and you can't just move Hardy to second and call up Escobar to play SS. You have to work with what you have and deal with players feelings. Hardy doesn't want to move and if he doesn't want to, you probably can't make him. Then even if you could do that, who knows if it would even work? It's not like Escobar is hitting in AAA. Weeks is gone and as of right now the best replacement for him is a Counsell/McGehee platoon. Call it whatever you want, but this is not a good thing. It's bad. Bad for the team. Bad for Rickie. Bad for me.
I am emotionally invested in Rickie Weeks. I saw him play in Double A. I watched his debut. I tracked his career. I've had him on fantasy teams. Most of all, I believed in him when no one else did. I knew the talent he had and I knew that if he ever figured it out, he'd be a pretty damn good second baseman. Guess what? He figured it out. This was the season that he became a pretty damn good second baseman and now it's over. Will he be good next year? He should be and I can't wait to bust out my Weeks jersey on Opening Day 2010, but it's still 2009. The race is too close to call and losing Rickie Weeks for the season hurts this team more than any of the other NL Central contenders have been hurt thus far.
The Brewers are a great team, but without Rickie? We'll see.
Now if you'll excuse me I am going to induce a seizure and swallow my own tongue.
Surely, by now you have heard the story about the Brewers fan catching Chris Coghlan's first career home run ball and then holding it for "ransom". If you haven't here's a quick rundown of it.
Coghlan's home run was caught Wednesday night by a Milwaukee Brewers fan who refers to himself as "The Happy Youngster" and claims on his blog to have caught nearly 50 homers.
And while Coghlan said the fan was willing to give the ball back, the man's original asking price was a lot higher than the Marlins rookie outfielder anticipated.
"He wasn't the most polite or respectful guy about the whole process," Coghlan said Thursday. "He told me he goes around a lot and catches these balls and holds them for ransom — even though he doesn't say that he does, it seems that way."
Sounds like a real winner, right? I guess there is a part of me that can admire someone who wants to get game balls. If a ball is hit to my area, I go for it. At the same time, I don't wear a glove. Why? Because I am not 12 years old. I have never caught a ball in my life so maybe I SHOULD wear a glove so that I can position myself and be ready. Maybe I should quit tailgating and show up inside for batting practice. Maybe I should start wearing the opposing team's hat and jersey to the games so that they will see me as a fan of them and throw me balls. Hey, maybe I should stop going to games to watch baseball and have fun. Maybe I should just go to them strictly to get balls, then I could have thousands of balls and I could hang out with other people who don't even really like baseball! Then me and my new ballhawking friends could go to spring training and I could make a diving catch that I didn't really even need to dive for to add to my pathetic collection so that I could be on SportsCenter! Then I could start a blog and write about how much a frickin' loser I am! Then I could meet a nice girl and settle down, well settle down as in get laid for once in my life, train her to be as pathetic as I am and have a kid who I will pass my douchebaggery gene onto!
Or maybe I could continue how I am going and continue to be a real fan of the baseball team that I like. Go to games to watch them and not to make myself into some sort of pseudo-celebrity. I think Al said it best when he said "Again, this "fan" simply embarrasses all Brewers' fans, not to mention all police officers and, well, all human beings." It's a complete joke, yet this is the world we live in. People think they are entitled to things just because they bothered to show up. Good for you, you caught this guy's home run ball. You don't deserve anything for it. If I am your dentist do I keep your daughter's first tooth? When you ask someone to take a picture of you and your friends, do they ask you what will you give them for it? If you found someone's lost dog, would you ask them for two puppies and a kitten to give it back? Absolutely not. It's called basic human decency. The odds of being a professional baseball player are pretty slim, the odds of getting to play in the Majors are slimmer and to hit your first career home run is basically the culmination of a lifelong dream. He might never hit another home run, he could get beaned tomorrow and never play baseball again. You don't know, anything could happen. To give up this ball, that is worth basically nothing in the real world to anyone but him, should be an honor and a pleasure. Instead, it's a negotiation about what you think you DESERVE for being in the right place at the right time. F. U.
Here's what I think everyone should do when they see this guy. Report him. If you read his blog it's clear that he is often not in the seats he is supposed to be in. So when you see him, tell the usher to check his ticket. When he does his "ball trick" in the bullpen? Tell someone. You're not supposed to be doing it. I have absolutely no problem with getting people thrown out of a game if they are a douchebag and it's pretty clear to me that this is the biggest douchebag at Miller Park (even when the Cubs are in town.) So screw him, get him out of there. The last thing you want as a fan is someone making you look bad. This guy makes us look bad just by waking up in the morning.
To summarize - I don't like this guy. I don't like his kind. Ballhawks, to me, are the worst kind of fans. They are a joke, but do you know what pisses me off more than ballhawks? This girl.
Here I am writing a beloved blog for all the true fans touching on the hot topics of the day. Making people laugh, making people think, making people talk and most of all helping people enjoy the life of being a Brewers fan. Yet, the guy who goes to game and collects balls is the one selling t-shirts to attractive 20-something med students? Are you kidding me? THAT guy is making money off being a Brewers fan? The guy who wears different team apparel to every game? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?
You know what? That's okay. Two can play this game. Introducing the first Miller Park Drunk t-shirt.
My love for Rickie Weeks is well documented here on this site and I even made an update after Opening Day that I was wearing my Rickie Weeks jersey with pride. That being said, this person is not me. I am not the kind of guy who rubs his crotch and then shakes hands with Cubs fans. You could get some serious germs from shaking hands with those guys.
Other signs it's not me:
- Mixed old and new logo!
- I don't own a pair of jeans.
- Come on, seriously.
Remember that whole rant we did against jerseys with your own name on them? Remember how we also complained about people wearing Packers gear to games? If you haven't read those posts, this about sums it up.
Thanks to my friend Emily for forcing me to take a picture of this and the guy in the picture for thinking that I was taking it because I thought he was cool. Whoops, sorry guy. If you're reading this I just want you to know that it's not, you're not and I hope you spill mustard on it. I wouldn't pee in your ear if your brains were on fire.