If there is one thing I hate, more than anything in the entire world. More than racism, more than poverty, more than hunger, even more than the Cubs fans who try to take over Miller Park; it's people who wear jerseys with their own names on the back. Or worse, people who wear jerseys with their own nicknames across the back. Except nobody actually calls them their nickname, they just made it up to try to look EXTRA cool in their $80 waste of money. Hey buddy, do you know what goes great with a jersey with your own name on it? Zubaz pants! Oh, but it looks like you already knew that. Asshole. Tell your wife hello for me when you're throwing her down the stairs.
Yeah, not really a fan of those jerseys. Or grown men wearing gloves to games, but we'll get into that later. For now, let's talk about fashion. Already we know that jerseys with your own name on them are out. Not only are they out they are viable to get you the scorn of your family and friends for years to come. So, forget that. T-shirts? Okay. Polos? Okay. Blank jerseys? Okay. Current or former players? Okay. (You really should have known better with that Sabathia jersey though.) Homemade jerseys carved out of your chest hair? HIGHLY ENCOURAGED. From Home Run Derby's jersey of the week, we bring you: a guy who shaved "Go Brew" into his own chest. Proceed at your own risk.