13
Sep 10

MPD Book Review: How to Finish Near Last Place with the Highest Payroll in the League

When the press release for Jim Hendry's new book How to Finish Near Last Place with the Highest Payroll in the League was first circulated through the Miller Park press box this past weekend it was widely thought to be a hoax by someone attempting to be funny and probably not an all together good attempt at that. So imagine our surprise when in our inbox we received a copy of the new book for review. It's not nearly long (or good) enough to write a lengthy review on and at times we had trouble reading the Comic Sans font the book was written in, but it is... interesting and is probably the closest we'll ever get to an "inside view" of the general manager position by an acting (for now) GM.

The book opens with a foreword by Lou Piniella that starts off nice enough thanking Jim Hendry for the opportunity to write for the foreword and also to manage Cubs, but after about two sentences it quickly devolves into an airing of grievances against everyone in baseball who has ever slighted him. By the last paragraph every sentence is typed in all-caps with multiple profanities interlaced within. The foreword ends, tellingly perhaps, with Piniella writing:

AND F*CK YOU TOO STEVE STONE LETS SEE YOU MANAGE A F*CKING TEAM.

HOPE YOU ENJOY THEĀ  F*CKING BOOK, BUT I'M NOT GONNA F*CKING READ IT.

Surprisingly when Hendry takes over the book doesn't change very much in tone from Piniella's foreword. Each chapter addresses a common complaint among fans about his work with an impassioned defense of the move followed by a "summary" of the point he was trying to make. While it may sound unnecessary, it is very helpful as Hendry has trouble making his points and often loses sight of the original topic by going into tangents about those "a-holes in the bleachers" and various local radio DJs.

I won't spoil all of the summaries, but I will cover a few of the ones that were leaked in the press release. Continue reading →


09
Dec 09

LaTroy Hawkins? I know that guy

latroyhawkinsThe Brewers are said to be HOT AND HEAVY after have signed LaTroy Hawkins and I can't help but think that his name sounds really familiar to me. Not in the positive sense. After much searching of my apartment and underneath my trophy case of women's left socks and earlobes, I found it. My favorite book ever written about the Chicago Cubs, Wrigleyworld, that Latroy Hawkins is a big star of. A few choice quotes.

General Manager Jim Hendry did nothing to address the anemic bullpen, instead calling on LaTroy Hawkins for another season.

Especially not today. The Cubs take a 3-2 lead into the top of the ninth, but closer LaTroy Hawkins surrenders the tying run and the game goes into extra innings.

"People are so angry about Dusty Baker, but what about Sammy Sosa and Moises Alou? What about LaTroy Hawkins?"

All this on top of Saturday's game, a freezing and windy affair that saw LaTroy Hawkins blow his second save of the season with two earned runs in the Cubs 4-3 loss.

In the ninth (after an improbable 1-2-3 inning from LaTroy Hawkins), Corey Patterson comes to the plate.

And finally, the best quote of all. Continue reading →


18
Aug 09

EXCLUSIVE: Gorman Thomas to attempt comeback with Cubs

In an interview with a small town Illinois newspaper Gorman Thomas said that he would "like to play again." When asked why now, 23 years after retiring, he wanted to come back Gorman said that he'd "like to help the Cubbies finally get that World Series." Cubs general manager Jim Hendry declined to comment, but did admit that there was interest.

UPDATE: Gorman tells ESPN's Buster Olney that his quotes were taken out of context and he is enjoying retirement. Continue reading →

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