A buddy of mine asked me why we haven't covered the departure of "gay-gay" yet and I really didn't really have a good explanation for him. The Brewers career of JJ Hardy is the kind of career that was great at the time, but over the years we'll eventually forget all about it. Kind of like New Kids on the Block. Like NKOTB, JJ was beloved by young girls and just like NKOTB, JJ peaked at a young age. Don't believe me? Let's take a look at the seemingly parallel careers of JJ Hardy and New Kids on the Block. Continue reading →
The slow news days have begun and due to MLB rules there is only a playoff game once every six days. What do we do? Inspired by our favorite site The Dugout, we've decided to follow our favorite JSOnline writer Anthony Witrado on a quest. A quest to find love, adulation and respect in a cruel world that doesn't understand him or particularly like him. Will he find what he's been seeking? Or will he fail at it, like he's failed at life so many times before? Find out in Witrado's Quest: A Miller Park Drunk Event.
The JSOnline's Brewers season grades are always a lot of fun. In 2008 Gabe Kapler received a better grade than anyone on the offense. In 2007 JJ Hardy, Joe Dillon and Ryan Braun were deemed equal. The thought that goes into these rankings clearly takes at least 5-10 minutes. I have a few sources on the inside of the JSHQ and they were able to give me a few of the grades ahead of their publishing along with some preliminary notes. Not sure if it will be EXACTLY like this on Sunday (or whenever these come out), but I can guarantee it will make the same amount of sense. Hope you enjoy.
Jason Kendall: B- That one time he hit a homerun. Guys loved throwing at him. Also, hit a homerun that other time.
Prince Fielder: C+ If he doesn't tie for RBI lead he is sure B-.Would be higher if team was better. It's his fault for record.
Felipe Lopez: A+++++ If I was GM I'd pay him a million trillion dollars!
JJ Hardy: INCOMPLETE Team is stupid for sending him down.
Alcides Escobar: C+Dazzling defense, but the bat isn't there. Seems like one of the best
Craig Counsell: B- One of the best seasons of his career.
Casey McGehee: C True Rookie of the Year candidate filled the hole at third base adequately.
Rickie Weeks: F- Got hurt. LOPEZZZZZZ!!!!!
Corey Hart: B- Changed his at-bat music later in the season and I really enjoyed it.
Mike Cameron: D He may have been one of the Brewers' best hitters, but he struck out a lot.
Ryan Braun: C- Wasn't as good as I thought he'd be. Would be higher if team did better, it's his fault.
Frank Catalanotto: A One of the lone bright spots.
Jody Gerut: F+
Yovani Gallardo: C- Not enough like CC.
Trevor Hoffman: A+ Best. Free. Agent. Signing. Ever.
Braden Looper: C- Sure, it was the worst season of his career and he led the league in homeruns and earned runs allowed. He had 14 wins! 14!
Jeff Suppan: D+ If he would have pitched better Brewers would have won the World Series.
Manny Parra: Somewhere between B and F.
Dave Bush: D- Bring back Doug Davis.
Mark DiFelice: B Can't imagine where the Brewers would have finished without his 3.66 ERA.
Mitch Stetter: C- His 3.60 ERA was a pleasant surprise.
Claudio Vargas: D- 1.78 ERA with Brewers. Am I supposed to be impressed?
Mike Burns: C Did a good job with what he was asked to do.
Seth McClung: B- "We need to give a good grade to Seth because he's my friend on twitter. -Tom"
Todd Coffey: C+Pitched a lot of games.
The rest: F
Sometimes I forget that I may have more female readers than I have male readers and that talking negatively about JJ Hardy is probably not the best course of action. The problem is the JJ days are probably over. The Alcides Escobar era is here and there's nothing we can do about it. I want the ladies to love Alcides, but the fact is that he is nowhere near as good looking as JJ Hardy. A friend of mine tells me that he enjoys vodka/cranberry and Michael Jackson, but that's just not enough to make this happen. We need more.
Luckily for Alcides he has me on his side. Here's 10 things that Alcides Escobar can do (scratch that, WILL DO) to make the ladies love him like they love JJ. When we're done with him he's going to make JJ Hardy look like Jonathan Knight (to his Donnie Wahlberg (or Joey McIntyre depending on your preference)) and no one will care when he comes out of the closet.