01
Sep 09

Why am I supposed to feel sorry for JJ Hardy again?

JJ Hardy Flow ChartHey, what's up gang? I'm back, I survived the swine flu. (Well, not really but it sounds better to explain the absence.) Did I miss anything? No? Not really? No trades? No 5,000 Jeff Suppan heads on the field on Sunday? Anyways, it's good to be back. You know who else thinks it's good to be back? JJ Hardy.

That's right, he's back! Today against the Cardinals, JJ Hardy will be on the roster. The only thing is he falls one day short of some MLB rule that makes no sense so he remains under Brewers control until after 2011, instead of after 2010. Reading the baseball blogs around the internet people have been calling the Brewers unethical to do this or just plain wrong. Why? Because delaying his free agency like this costs him money. To which I say, who gives a shit? Continue reading →


13
Aug 09

“Just having three days off, that’s going to be exactly what I needed”

JJ Hardy

So there's been a lot of talking about me going down to Triple-A and everyone wondering what the future holds for me. Well I am about to tell you what it holds, three days off and a killer weekend! That's what it holds! Don't get me wrong, I love the Brewers. I love playing in Milwaukee and the fans are really great. I love all the number 7's I see in the crowd, but it's like we gotta do this thing every single day of the week? Really? 162 games? Isn't that a bit excessive?  I need some me-time. I need to enjoy the summer. I haven't even seen one episode of the new season of Entourage. I need my Drama-time! Man, I love that show. I tried to get the team to "hug it out, bitch" after wins, but they went with that untucking thing instead. Whatever. Continue reading →


16
Jun 09

The fail that is the JSOnline Brewers Fan Photo Gallery

If you haven't had the pleasure chance to see the JSOnline's user submitted Brewers fan photo gallery than you are REALLY missing out. I've invited my good friend Brewers Baby to help me comment on some of these photos.I should warn you, Brewers Baby can get a little vulgar at times. What can I say? He's a baby. He poops his pants and pees himself. Babies are stupid.

afflic

BREWERS BABY This is a good look for someone who wants to A) look like a douchebag, B) cook crystal meth, C) date strippers and D) get his f@%kin ass whooped if I ever see him.

Continue reading →


12
Jun 09

JJ Hardy is WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

The web is alive with rumors that there is a Brewers trade on the horizon. The center of this talk is JJ Hardy. Earlier I didn't see it happen, but the more I've thought about it. The more it makes sense. My previous argument was that the Brewers wouldn't trade their 5th best hitter. Which makes sense, only Hardy hasn't turned it around and to date the only people who have hit less than him are Bill Hall and Jason Kendall. Yet he still has a lot of value because a lot of people don't see him ending up like this. If the Brewers can get a GOOD starter, like real good for Hardy and not much else. They should do it. It's the right thing to do. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way. Like this 13 year old girl who goes by the handle foreverJJsgirl.

foreverJJsgirl

omigod r u serious! is this 4 real? this would be like the dumbest thing evr!! what are they thinkin!?

/listens to Jonas Brothers

this is sooooooo stupid, stupidr than my parents not letting me go to Twilight by myself bc it was pg-13 and i was only 12. god i hate them so much. i cant wait to go to college like my sister.

/watches trailer for New Moon

ne ways about JJ it would be so stupid. like, who are they even going to trade him to? like the bears or somethin? ugh i hate them but i would b there biggest fan if they had jj. hes just so damn cute. hes like david from my 3rd period if he grew a goatee.

/wears clothes she shouldn't be wearing at her age

but then i couldnt go to there games and see jj! itd be so stupid when my dad made me go if jj wasnt there. miller park doesnt even have a starbucks. i guess braun is cute and gamel is alrite, but jj is just soooo cute. hes like a jonas brother. i would totally marry him if my dad wasnt such a jerk who wont let me date.

/doubts her dedication to purity promise ring

ok i get it they need better pitching or something. why not trade corey hart (eww country music) or prince fielder (too fat) or craig council (old as my dad lol)? dont take jj from us, hes the mvp... of my heart.

/texts

ugh i have to go now, my mom says i have to get off the internet and do my homework.

/listens to sad Hannah Montana song alone in her room on repeat


01
Jun 09

Your 2009 MLB All-Star Lineups

as_08_800

Have you heard about the 2009 All Star game? The Brewers are basically in the top two of every single position. This is pretty exciting for Brewers fans and I was really curious to see how it was going to turn out. To find out I contacted a local mathematician* and had him crunch some numbers for me to figure out how this thing is going to end up. This is what he came up with.

American League

National League

C: Crash Davis
1B:
Richie Sexson
2B: Jarrod Washburn
3B: Who cares?
SS: Spencer's creepy flesh colored beard
OF:
Ichiro
OF:
Dave Navarro
OF: Terence Mann
C: Jason Kendall
1B: Albert Poo-holes lol
2B: Rickie Weeks
3B: Who cares?
SS: JJ Hardy
OF: Ryan Braun
OF: Mike Cameron
OF: Anyone but Gary Sheffield

*By local mathematician I mean a guy I met at a bar who wrote this on a napkin for me.

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