The slow news days have begun and due to MLB rules there is only a playoff game once every six days. What do we do? Inspired by our favorite site The Dugout, we've decided to follow our favorite JSOnline writer Anthony Witrado on a quest. A quest to find love, adulation and respect in a cruel world that doesn't understand him or particularly like him. Will he find what he's been seeking? Or will he fail at it, like he's failed at life so many times before? Find out in Witrado's Quest: A Miller Park Drunk Event.
I like to think that I am the world's foremost expert on d-bags who wear gloves to a baseball game. When I am asked to go on CNN to comment on the Happy Youngster's inevitable serial killing spree, I want it to to look like this.
I can talk and write about this topic forever. They never stop being fun to make fun of. I know the ins and outs of the game and in some ways I'm the Bill James of the hating-ballhawks community. So you should know that NOTHING on this planet gave me more pleasure than seeing Conan O'Brien give him the business on the Tonight Show. In case you missed it: Continue reading
We've decided against doing a long, season retrospective post about the team. There is simply too much to talk about. For instance the pitching staff deserved its own post. Prince Fielder probably deserves his own post. So we're not done writing about the Brewers, not by a longshot. That being said, there are a few things that I am not going to be writing about. Things that bothered me all season long that I am so happy we don't have to put up with anymore. Things like Anthony Witrado and The Happy Youngster. Things like this:
- Tom Haudricourt's Twitter: Tyler Maas covered this excellently over the summer, but it needs to be reiterated. This was the most depressing thing to read about the Brewers all season. How anyone could hate watching the Brewers play baseball so much and be employed to write about it, I'll never know. The only thing worse than his constant complaining about the Brewers is his attempts at humor. Leave it to the professionals buddy. In his defense it's not like he just hates the Brewers, he hates his alma mater too. Continue reading
The JSOnline's Brewers season grades are always a lot of fun. In 2008 Gabe Kapler received a better grade than anyone on the offense. In 2007 JJ Hardy, Joe Dillon and Ryan Braun were deemed equal. The thought that goes into these rankings clearly takes at least 5-10 minutes. I have a few sources on the inside of the JSHQ and they were able to give me a few of the grades ahead of their publishing along with some preliminary notes. Not sure if it will be EXACTLY like this on Sunday (or whenever these come out), but I can guarantee it will make the same amount of sense. Hope you enjoy.
Jason Kendall: B- That one time he hit a homerun. Guys loved throwing at him. Also, hit a homerun that other time.
Prince Fielder: C+ If he doesn't tie for RBI lead he is sure B-.Would be higher if team was better. It's his fault for record.
Felipe Lopez: A+++++ If I was GM I'd pay him a million trillion dollars!
JJ Hardy: INCOMPLETE Team is stupid for sending him down.
Alcides Escobar: C+Dazzling defense, but the bat isn't there. Seems like one of the best
Craig Counsell: B- One of the best seasons of his career.
Casey McGehee: C True Rookie of the Year candidate filled the hole at third base adequately.
Rickie Weeks: F- Got hurt. LOPEZZZZZZ!!!!!
Corey Hart: B- Changed his at-bat music later in the season and I really enjoyed it.
Mike Cameron: D He may have been one of the Brewers' best hitters, but he struck out a lot.
Ryan Braun: C- Wasn't as good as I thought he'd be. Would be higher if team did better, it's his fault.
Frank Catalanotto: A One of the lone bright spots.
Jody Gerut: F+
Yovani Gallardo: C- Not enough like CC.
Trevor Hoffman: A+ Best. Free. Agent. Signing. Ever.
Braden Looper: C- Sure, it was the worst season of his career and he led the league in homeruns and earned runs allowed. He had 14 wins! 14!
Jeff Suppan: D+ If he would have pitched better Brewers would have won the World Series.
Manny Parra: Somewhere between B and F.
Dave Bush: D- Bring back Doug Davis.
Mark DiFelice: B Can't imagine where the Brewers would have finished without his 3.66 ERA.
Mitch Stetter: C- His 3.60 ERA was a pleasant surprise.
Claudio Vargas: D- 1.78 ERA with Brewers. Am I supposed to be impressed?
Mike Burns: C Did a good job with what he was asked to do.
Seth McClung: B- "We need to give a good grade to Seth because he's my friend on twitter. -Tom"
Todd Coffey: C+Pitched a lot of games.
The rest: F
Last week I did a playoff preview where I went through each team individually and tried to pick a favorite (and it looks like I'll be an honorary Coors Field Drunk for the rest of this month). I went through each of the playoff teams and decided that the Tigers were going to win the division. The Twins had something like a 5% chance of coming back and I didn't think they would do it. Here's what I said.
(Skipping the Twins. They aren't coming back.)
That's it. I didn't even feel the need to justify it and now they are in a one-game playoff for the AL Central title to be played tomorrow.
(Quick tangent on this: Each year the MLB holds a series of coinflips in the event of tiebreakers to decide the home team. The Twins won this coinflip. (As lar pointed out in the comments this has been changed, but the overall point still stands.) Now, why wouldn't the MLB look at the schedule and say "You know, we want these tiebreakers to take place on Monday. We don't want either team gaining an advantage and we want the playoffs to start on Tuesday. Even though you won the toss, if you can't have that game on Monday, we're going to have that game on Monday in Detroit. Sorry." How hard would that be? The playoffs take forever as it is, why add a day because Brett Favre unretired?)
So, the Tigers play the Twins in a four game series and they split it when everyone says the Twins need to win 3 of 4 to have a chance. Then they sweep the Royals while the Twins fall apart against the White Sox. WHY? Why does this happen? I don't really care about either team at all, but I don't like to be wrong. Who likes to be wrong? Who is responsible for me to possibly be wrong? Miguel Cabrera, that's who. Continue reading