Tag Archives: john axford

Making sense of John Axford

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JOHN AXFORD IS THE WORST PITCHER EVER AND I HATE HIM AND IF IT WASN'T FOR HIM AND HIS STUPID BLOWN SAVES WE WOULD PROBABLY BE IN FIRST PLACE AND BE BIG TIME BUYERS AT THE TRADE DEADLINE LIKE WE'D PROBABLY GET PRINCE BACK AND COLE HAMELS AND PAUL MOLITOR AND JESUS AND BATMAN AND A NEW MANAGER WHO COULD PROBABLY JUST BE BATMANS BUTLER ALFRED BECAUSE HE SEEMS REALLY SMART. MAN CAN YOU GUYS BELIEVE THAT ROBIN DIED IN DARK KNIGHT RISES? ANYWAYS IF IT WASNT FOR STUPID AXFORD PULLING A derrick turnbow THEN WE'D PROBABLY HAVE ALL THOSE GUYS AND JOSH HAMILTON TOO AND THEN WIN LIKE A MILLION WORLD SERIES. WE COULD HAVE LIKE REALLY COOL COMMERCIALS WITH AARON RODGERS AND RYAN BRAUN BEING LIKE YO CHECK OUT MY RING DUDE, NO YOU CHECK OUT MY RING DUDE LOL. THE POINT IS I HATE JOHN AXFORD AND HIS STUPID MUSTACHE AND I HOPE HE FALLS OFF A BRIDGE INTO A MILLION GALLONS OF WATER THAT IS ON FIRE AND IT BURNS HIS HAIR OFF BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO CUT IT OFF ANYWAYS BECAUSE IT ANNOYS ME WHEN HE IS ON TV BLOWING A SAVE AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM PITCH EVER EVER AGAIN.

HE WAS COOL LAST YEAR THO.

I don't know maybe I'm just defensive about people who overreact to things, but that's how everyone sounds to me when they talk about John Axford. Crazy, irrational, stupid; basically like any girl who has ever dated me for over three months.

Not that a lot of the vitriol towards John Axford is undeserved. He hasn't really done his job all that well this season. He's had trouble locating his pitches which leads to walks and bad counts which lead to big homeruns. It's not been a real fun time to be John Axford this season and he knows it, just like you know that watching John Axford has not been very fun. But has he really been that bad? Continue reading »

Blame it on the bullpen

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I will not admit that this Brewers season is over because we're probably going to see a NL Wild Card that wins 85 games and that number does not seem impossible and I will not give up on the Brewers season because, seriously, what else am I going to do for the next three months? With that being said I will say that this season has still been incredibly disappointing, no fun and not at all what we thought it would be. But what did we really think it would be?

Vegas set the Brewers pre-season over/under win total at 84.5. They weren't ever going to be a team that ran away with the division. Did last season's 96-66 record distort our expectations? Probably, but we should always remember that team had +6 wins over it's Pythagorean record (or expected record) and was a league best 30-18 in one run games. Those are two things that are really hard to repeat. For the Brewers to make a return trip to the playoffs this year they once again need a lot of things to go right and thus far this season almost nothing has. This isn't a lack of "drive" or a team that doesn't "mentally have it", this is baseball. You play more games than any other sport and less teams make the playoffs than any other sport. A lot has to go right for any team to succeed.

Thus far they haven't succeeded and a lot of reasons have been thrown around as to why. Here are a few of the most popular:

  • Rickie Weeks. :(
  • Injuries, man. Injuries.
  • Not clutch.
  • Offense is worse than last season.
  • Randy Wolf.
  • The bullpen.

And while there have been a myriad of problems with this season there really is only one thing that has kept the Brewers from being "in it" and that thing is the bullpen. No, seriously, it's not Rickie Weeks. It's the bullpen. It's not injuries. It's the bullpen. That's it. Seriously. Continue reading »

The Best of #WeLoveAx

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Well, I'd be lying if I said that #WeLoveAx wasn't the worldwide phenomena that I expected it to be. I mean, you would think saying something nice about one of the best players on your favorite baseball team in a 140 characters or less would be a no-brainer, but apparently not. If there is one thing I've learned in life it's that I do not look good in a thong some people just don't like to do fun stuff. It's like when my old roommate's co-worker came over to our place to borrow something and when I asked him if he wanted a beer he said "You know I'm only 20 right?" Like wouldn't that make you want a beer even more? Does this look like a frickin' bar to you? What are you a cop or something? Relax, dude. That's kind of what this was like. Or maybe it's like Monday night's game when I was walking across the bridge, drunk, celebrating a Brewers win and trying to get a "YES!" chant started. Nobody wanted to do it. They were all content to just walk across the bridge quietly, talking amongst themselves. I don't get it. The Brewers won. We should celebrate and chanting "YES!" is really fun! Really. Go ahead, try it. I'll wait here.

(still waiting)

That's how it is for some people though. They might be afraid of ruining their blog's twitter's "integrity" (kill yourself) or maybe they have such low self esteem that they are worried John Axford will reply to them and tell them they are dumb for saying that (he won't.) Who knows. Or maybe people just thought MY idea was stupid which is totally missing the point. It is stupid, but the point is: just stop thinking about everything so much and be nice. People tweet mean things at John Axford and if you don't like that you should tweet something nice at him to overcome that. It's only 140 characters, it won't kill you.

With that little rant over I want to thank all of you who did participate. I now present to you a few of my favorites. Continue reading »

Milwaukee Brewers 2011 Year In Review DVD Is Awesome

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The Brewers are 4-6. Last season at this time they were 5-5. They have a -14 run differential and have given up 50 runs. OMG WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! ARE THEY DONEZO!? Let's try not to worry about it because it is ridiculously early to worry about anything and take a trip down memory lane to the 2011 season as we review the Milwaukee Brewers' "The Next Step" DVD.

The 2011 Milwaukee Brewers season was the best, everything about it was the best. I loved the pitching, the hitting and the defense (okay, maybe not the defense.) I loved the coaching (okay, maybe not the coaching either.) I loved Ryan Braun, Prince Fielder, Yo, Axford, Tony Plush, Beast Mode and everything else. 2011 was a year when everything seemed to go right for the Brewers and it truly was a magical regular season. The recently released Brewers DVD "The Next Step" given to fans last Sunday at Miller Park sets out to capture the feeling of last season and does a pretty strong job of it, hitting a lot of the key moments of the season that brought us so much joy a year ago with a cast of talking heads who enjoyed it just as much as we did. Continue reading »

Saturday Video Time

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We get a lot of requests to post other people's content on our page. (I guess this is one of the downsides of being the best Brewers blog in the world.) We usually just delete them because we try to be original. However, sometimes people do good work and we want to recognize it. Or the video stars John Axford and since we are now best friends we feel obliged to link it. You know, either way.

Everyone else got a "fake tweet/what tweet discreet did" thing except for Axford. WAZUPWITDAT? If I made this video it would have looked like this.

JohnAxford: @RRoberts14 lol c u next season fag

After Tweet Discreet:
JohnAxford: @RRoberts14 sweet neck tat bro!

Then we have these dudes at Nine More Outs. Their stuff is pretty hit and miss for me and this one is no different. It seems like they are trying too hard sometimes, you know? It's worth a watch just for the people who let them draw on their faces for cans of Miller Lite. No bottles? #areyouseriousbro